And We Ran
by AvgHoneyBadger
Summary: Life is pretty boring for a vamp stuck in a small town. Right when Emmett can't take it anymore, La upends his world. She's running from unseen terrors, hiding in the shadows cast by her past. Can Emmett keep up, or will her history swallow them both? Twilight/Midnight Sun re-imagining featuring Emmett and OC.
1. Chapter 1: Life in a Boring Town

**A/N: **Hello! This story is a stand-alone re-imagining of Twilight told from Emmett's point of view, and like Midnight Sun, delves into the family dynamic. I am having a lot of fun writing this. Emmett's mind is a happy place to be. I hope you have just as much fun reading it!

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**CHAPTER ONE.**

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**LIFE IN A BORING TOWN**

_You're pouting again. _I looked directly at Edward over the lunch table and pitched my thought in a loud, conversational tone that couldn't be missed, even in a din full of noise. There was no way for him to pretend he couldn't hear it. His eyes flashed to mine with a muted look of defiance.

My smallest brother was hunched in around himself, frowning at the floor. No one else would have been able to see the fleeting change in his expression, even if they'd been looking for it. Edward made a flick with his hand to indicate I should be minding my own business, and continued to stare at the concrete. He had a point, but there wasn't anything _else_ to mind in this god awful town.

Forks, Washington. There didn't seem to be any point to this place, really. Fewer than 4,000 people, and every single one of them from a perfect cookie cutter. They all looked, behaved, and even smelled the same. Not that Denali had been much different, but at least we had been free to hunt at will. The wildlife had been plentiful, varied, and accessible.

As with all good things, our stay there had to come to an end. People started noticing the odd differences in the large seclusive family from the hills. Once the rangers started to report significant drops in the local predator population eyes began to follow us, to point out our "otherness." It was clear it was time to break up the coven. We'd grown too large.

Carlisle suggested moving back south. Said he knew a place we would be safe. Somewhere we could go outside during the day- somewhere we could be normal. There was a catch, though. The younger we pretended to be, the longer we could stay. Esme was ecstatic, so to Forks we came. All of us, myself, my sister, Alice, and my two brothers, Edward and Jasper, enrolled as high school seniors, then went on to the community college. I decided to earn my second degree in chemical engineering… because why not? There wasn't anything else to do in this blight of town in the middle of nowhere.

I leaned back in my seat and glanced around the room to shake away my foul humor. Who was pouting now? I was actually frowning. If something interesting didn't happen very soon I might actually explode. Little bits of vampire all over this destitute little piece of nowhere.

Alice started up a low humming lullaby as she twirled her hair with deft fingers. Her other hand was tracing patterns on her husband's thigh. Jasper was enveloped in his own thoughts, staring off into the trees surrounding the pavilion. I felt the frown tug more insistently at the corners of my mouth as I considered him.

He looked _uncomfortable._

We probably shouldn't have made him go so long without feeding. This was harder on him than all of us due to his harrowing past. He probably had never needed to abstain before for any reason at all. Two weeks was asking an awful lot considering his circumstances.

None of the family had gone hunting for these past two weeks in solidarity with Jasper. Generally this was perfectly fine for the rest of us, but none of us had subsisted off of human blood for any significant length of time the way Jasper had. Usually, in order to more easily maintain his thirst, he would slip off in between our big hunting trips for a deer snack. This time, under the guise of self-improvement, we all thought the challenge would be a great way for him to prove to himself that he was as capable of this lifestyle as the rest of us.

I went along with it only because I thought, at the very least, it would be entertaining. In hindsight, this probably wasn't a great idea at all. Jasper wasn't ever verbose, but he wasn't usually such a drag, either.

Although, this might be the answer I was looking for… _something interesting_. Even if he didn't end up killing anyone, we would probably go on a hunting trip this weekend. I would take anything to break this monotony.

Maybe a wrestling match would take his mind off his thirst. I could challenge him after class today….

Edward glanced back over at me, following my thoughts. I shrugged at him. I couldn't help think it. This had been a stupid plan. What was the point in tempting fate? If Jasper wasn't able to control himself we would have to start all over again in some other part of the world, and that would break Esme's heart.

Besides, what were the chances we would find another Forks-like town? God forbid! There couldn't be two of these places, could there?

If we were forced out we would likely end up somewhere even worse than the back end of Washington. Maybe Antarctica? Fucking penguins.

A clutch of girls, all dressed in the same colors, all babbling in exactly the same pitch passed closely by our table. One of them came particularly close to Jasper as they moved toward the main exit of the pavilion. The group brought the scent of fresh blood with them. Of course, none of them smelled especially appetizing to me, but I watched Jasper closely, anyway.

He stiffened, hands gripping his elbows so tightly I could hear his bones groan, but held himself together. Alice remained relaxed. She was watching his future very closely today and would know what he intended before even Jasper knew himself.

Edward suddenly kicked Jasper's chair under the table. The movement was too quick for human eyes to follow, but I would bet it was forceful enough to leave grooves in the concrete under Jasper's chair. Jasper clenched his jaw, but didn't otherwise respond.

"Sorry," he finally mumbled. I guess he was a lot closer to attacking than I thought. I clapped him on the shoulder in support.

"You weren't going to do anything," Alice cooed. She was a damn good liar, but even I could see through that one. "It helps if you think of them as people," she continued.

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Really? Is that the route she's going to take? The humanity of it all!

"Her name is Whitney, she has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party. Do you remember?"

_Yes, he remembers. He doesn't care, kid._

"I know who she is," Jasper grunted through teeth locked tight. He continued to stare off into the trees beyond the pavilion. Likely sunk into visions of blood.

Alice sighed and went back to twirling her hair absently. It was pretty clear Jasper had already had enough of her encouragement, but it always surprised me how well they two of them read each other. They were like two sides of the same coin. So in tune with each other it was like they could read each other's minds, but really, Edward was the only mind reader among us.

Edward's head jerked around as though someone had called his name.

_What's up, brother? _I leaned toward him.

"There's a transfer student," he said, watching her, already sifting through her thoughts for anything that may put our family in danger. "She's noticed us."

"Don't they all?" Jasper said derisively.

"Well, she's noticed you, Emmett." Edward snickered.

_What, me in particular?_ Edward gave a slight tilt of his head at the opposite side of the pavilion. Without looking, I turned my attention toward the direction Edward indicated.

"Which one is the rugby player?" A female voice asked. Her voice was oddly flat, and a little withdrawn. Her curiosity was apparent, but it sounded like she was asking only because it was expected of her, not because she felt any real desire for the answers.

"Oh," a second voice chimed. That one sound held all the qualities I normally hated about humans. Condescension, superiority, and self importance. It made a stark juxtaposition with the voice of the transfer student.

My gaze followed the sound of their voices until I saw a woman with intensely dark, loosely curled hair that tumbled around a face alight with an interest that wasn't displayed in her voice when she spoke. Her eyes caught and held mine confidently, and I found I couldn't look away.

She was wearing what basically amounted to a long, bulky pea coat and was paused on the edge of her seat, like she hadn't bothered to sit all the way down, or didn't want to in case she had to stand up in a hurry. Just what on earth was she doing, hovering over her seat like that?

The girl didn't break eye contact. In fact, she _smiled_ at me. When was the last time a human _smiled_ at me? It was only then that I realized I was smiling as well.

"Stop looking," her companion hissed, and pinched her arm. "That's Emmett. He's beautiful but he's never showed interest in anyone." I grinned wider. It was true, I never noticed any of the humans swarming around in this school. What was the point? They would be dead in a few years, anyway.

"What is she thinking?" Jasper asked, ever the tactician. We all turned to Edward to listen, but he was still struggling with his silent laughter from the transfer student's response to me.

I kicked his chair, and smiled sweetly.

"Jessica Stanley is giving her the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan," he murmured to us in a low voice.

_I hope she's making it good, _I thought.

"Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed," Edward continued.

_And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well? _It was Edward's role in the family as the resident mind reader to be our lookout, just in case someone became overly interested in our other-wordly family of adopted children.

It happened occasionally. Someone would make wildly general assumptions about us and begin to snoop. Even less frequently someone would guess correctly and we would need to skip town before any drama started. Edward had always been able to give us a heads up so we could avoid any real tragedy.

"Her name is Delilah Davis," Edward all but whispered. "But she prefers, La. As I said, her attention seemed to catch and stick on you, Emmett, but she's already moved on to memorizing the names of her new friends. Right now she's thinking Jessica might be a poor choice…"

Just like every other human; fleeting thoughts, easily distracted, and not interesting in any way. Did I expect anything else? She had nice eyes, though.

"Keep an eye on her," Jasper cautioned. "I don't like it when new people notice us like that. It means they might be more discerning than others."

In all appearances, whatever her initial interest had been, it faded as quickly as it came. My eyes lingered on the mess of her hair half piled on top of her head. Her table was still making introductions, holding her attention with their meaningless prattle.

I listened in, heard her correct several people that tried to call her "Delilah," and avoid several questions about where she was from. She was skilled at redirecting attention. I wondered why she felt the need to push the focus away from herself. Most humans tended to preen when they were the center of a crowd.

At the end of break, Alice popped up pulling Jasper with her. The two of them left through a side entrance. Edward looked at me thoughtfully, then pushed away from the table to follow them. "Are you alright?" He asked.

I considered him. "I think so?" Whenever he asked cryptic questions like this it made me think that maybe I really wasn't alright. _Am I missing something?_

"No," he said vaguely and left for class.

_Well, that was fucking weird._ I shook it off and made way toward the classroom buildings. My next class was lab for organic chemistry.

Again. This would be my third time studying this material- a feat that would be incredibly boring for anyone, but especially someone with perfect recall. There had to be a way of testing out of pre-requisite classes, but I guessed passing too many of those would blow our cover.

_The longer we're in school, the longer we can stay, _I reminded myself. _Anything for Esme._

If it wasn't for my adopted parents I would have been just as happy living my life as a nomad. I'd considered it on many occasions, but Esme poured a lot of love and soul into our little family, and she tended to fret when any of us left her for any amount of time. Besides, creature comforts could be pretty nice when you got used to them.

I had been one of the last people to leave the lunch pavilion. I meandered, considering Edward's odd parting behavior, yet I was still the first one into the lab classroom. Maybe I would be lucky and there would be an uneven number of people in this class. If that were the case I wouldn't have to pretend to be human more than usual. I chose the desk in the furthest corner.

People tended to keep away from vamps on a subconscious level. They feared us, even if they didn't understand why. They had some deep rooted survival instincts, long forgotten but still understood on a primal level. Choosing the furthest away seat was my way of facilitating their subconscious need for space between us.

The rest of the class slowly filed in. As expected, not a single human even considered sitting in the other chair of the desk I'd chosen. I leaned against the desk with my elbow, settling in for a boring hour. Eventually, the whole class was seated, and the TA went to close the door. As she reached for the handle, she made a startled pause and stepped back politely.

One final person entered the classroom and shut the door behind them. It was the new girl, La. Her peacoat was open now, hanging from her in disarray, one shoulder of the fabric was scrunched up with the strap of her bag. Her hair had fallen out of whatever had been keeping it piled on her head and now tumbled over her face and along her shoulders. She was flushed with embarrassment as she scanned the room, looking for an open seat. Her eyes landed on me. I smirked. Poor thing.

La would be in for a very long semester.

She headed in my direction, carefully stepping through stools and legs. As she approached her seat the central heat kicked on exactly as she stepped under it. A bloom of heated air blew a wave of her scent straight up my nostrils. I gripped the table fiercely, and was only just able to keep from breaking it.

Her scent hit me like a ton of bricks to the throat. Fire laced up and down my chest, venom poured into my mouth. I would have her. I needed to have her. Nothing in all the world would taste as perfect as her blood. Nothing could ever possibly satiate me more. I was the predator, she was my prey, and I would enjoy every ounce of the blood that would pump from her neck.

We were in a room full of witnesses but none of them mattered. I had been turned into a vampire in 1934. No one in more than 80 years had smelled as sweet as this woman. How could I deny myself this unique scent? I never even imagined someone could smell so perfectly ideal. Had I known, I would have combed the earth in search of it, destroyed entire cities to taste it.

Not a second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her underneath the heating vent. Her skin was the most beautiful dusky hue I had ever seen, it complemented the scent that radiated from her in a mouthwateringly desirable way. My brain was swimming in scents of freshly baked spices, and warm wood.

My mouth was a desert, dry and desiccated. Venom swam over my tongue, but it didn't alleviate the feeling, didn't make it easier to withstand the barrage on my senses, the oppressive blanket that was clouding my brain. It was becoming impossible to think clearly.

In just a few seconds, she would come to sit beside me, and I would gleefully kill her. If I did it straight away, the other people in this room would react within seconds, spoiling my joy. I couldn't have that. I would need to kill them first, then come back to her. Could I kill them all and sink my teeth into her neck before she had the chance to scream?

A quick glance around the room told me no one had noticed my reaction, including the woman in question. There were 29 other people in this room. Few enough that I could easily break all of them in less than several seconds, then come back to her. From where I sat it would be a simple circle. I could sweep up the back of the room, snapping necks as I went, circle around the front, and be on her just as she was beginning to understand her fate.

I took another deep breath and felt the fire roll from my throat through my veins, I nearly sprang from my seat right then. This thirst would consume me.

Blissfully, the vent suddenly ceased blowing, and the power of her scent relented just enough to give me some brief clarity.

I stopped breathing. The fire immediately diminished.

_What the fuck?!_ I had done some terrible things in my time, but I had never been a murderer. I had never killed an innocent human before. What happened to me that I was suddenly willing to kill 30 innocents in the matter of a few seconds? What would Esme say? She believed so strongly in my ability to be _good._ How badly would this hurt her? Her face swam in my view. I imagined her standing before me, distraught, face tight with tears that could no longer be shed. She would forgive me, she always did- even when my eyes glowed red with the evidence of my broken promises. She would love me anyway.

There was one option; I had to get out of here.

The girl was setting her bag underneath her side of the desk. She was standing up. Now she was pulling the stool out. I grabbed my bag and thrust away from the desk. Who was this woman? Where did she come from? Why was she here now?

I glared down at her. She caught my expression, and jumped backwards a little. Her eyes were the deepest darkest brown I'd ever seen, all tangled in confusion. How dare she come here now and put the lives of all these people at risk? How dare she come here so soon after we settled just to throw our lives another curveball? Why did she have to come here? Why did she exist at all? She would ruin the life Esme had struggled so hard to build for us.

Who was she? And why me? Why right now? Why should my family have to lose everything for some inconsequential human? Why should I have to be the one to disappoint Esme? I had been trying _so_ hard.

If I was going to leave, it needed to be now. Holding my breath was a welcome reprieve, but the memory of the girl's scent was _still_ enough to convince me to kill this room of people. In that second I learned what it was to truly hate someone.

I hated this frail human with every cell of my being. I hated the rapid change she'd forced through me, the awful _need._ I could wait an hour. I could wait two hours, and when she left for home I would follow her, and I would continue to wait until she was alone, and then I would get my reward. When we were alone, I wouldn't need to rush through or do damage control. I would convince her to let me in, I would convince her to become pliant in my arms, I would feel the pulse in her neck below my lips, and then I would taste her.

Finally, I tore my eyes away from hers and bolted. My movements far too quick for any human but I was completely unable to move normally. If anyone had been looking at me they would have noticed my inhuman speed, or at least suspected something wasn't quite right, but no one ever looked at the Cullens anymore.

Once I hit the fresh air outside the last vestiges of the girl's scent were swept away. I was left only with the memory of it, and the reality of my horrible behavior. I dumped my books in Edward's car and headed for a leg of the woods that stretched out to touch a corner of the campus.

The scents of the woods further cleared my mind. I paced, breathing deeply of the wet moss, and forest flowers. It finally occurred to me that I didn't have to disappoint my mother. I didn't have to kill this girl. I was a rational, sentient creature that was capable of good decisions! Obviously there was a choice here. Could I make the right one? Did I want to?

In that classroom the answer had been obvious, but out here under an overcast sky, drops of water lazily dotting my face… I could choose not to be a monster.

Where the hell was Alice in all of this? She should have seen something so momentous long before I'd had the chance to nearly kill a room full of people. At the very least she should have seen enough to come help, or clean up the evidence. Maybe I was always strong enough to resist? No, it had to be that Alice was concentrating all of her energy on Jasper.

My pacing continued, and became more frenzied. I wouldn't kill the girl. I wouldn't stalk her at her home. What could I do instead? My thoughts flashed to the Denali coven. I could visit some old friends for a while. Take my thoughts off the problems here, and save the whole family a lot of trouble.

The parking lot was clearing out now. Edward was probably already filling the others in on what had happened. I made my way to the parking lot, and flung myself into the Volkswagen. I was gasping at the air filled with the scents of familiar vampires, trying to banish the memory of the girl's scent.

"Emmett?" Alice leaned forward from the back seat to grip my shoulders. I shook my head forcefully, as Edward threw the car into reverse.

"What happened, brother?" Jasper leaned forward. He was probably getting a snarling mass of confused emotions off of me. His empathic abilities were usually a great asset, but at times like this he was just annoying.

Feeling my need to flee, Edward swung the car onto the road and took it to sixty immediately, tires squealing and spinning out. By the time we reached the next corner we were going nearly 100 miles per hour.

"You're leaving?" Alice piped up. I didn't answer, knowing she would be looking for other possible futures already. "Oh," she muttered, and then again as I imagined what possibilities she must be seeing.

My resolve wavered. It would be so easy to jump out of this car and run back to campus. Her records would be in the main office. I was certain I could find her address easily, then be within sight of her in less than 15 minutes. All this pain and turmoil could be over… Edward gripped my arm so tightly it nearly hurt.

My head bowed in defeat. It would be better to leave.

"I'll miss you," Alice whispered. "I always miss you when you're gone."

When we turned onto the long drive that led to the hidden meadow circling our house Edward pulled the car to a stop. "Go on ahead. You should tell Carlisle by yourself."

I nodded and opened the door. Alice caught my shoulder again as I moved to exit. "You will do the right thing," she said – it was an order. "There is no one in the world stronger than you. You're strong enough for this."


	2. Chapter 2: Mate

**CHAPTER TWO.**

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**MATE**

I didn't even bother with a car, it would take too much time to get the key, to start it, to back out of the garage. I needed to run as fast as I could, for as long as possible, to fill my lungs with clean air. There was probably a direct parallel here about literally running away from one's problems, but at the time I didn't care. I just needed to feel free.

Somewhere in Canada my thirst drove me to hunt, but even the serenity of feeding was destroyed as I remembered the girl's scent. I drank savagely, trying to feed the monster inside me an alternative. I would have done almost anything to quell this beast, but nothing would satiate it.

Briefly, I imagined it was the girl's blood sliding down my throat, not that of this flavorless stag. Never in my life have I wanted something so badly. The simple involuntary imagining renewed my desperation and I floundered. It would be so easy to let the animal inside me win. Why should I have to abstain? This is what vampires were built for, after all.

This internal argument was counter-productive. I howled out viciously, funneling my anger and frustration into the sound. I didn't turn back toward Forks. I kept hunting. Finally, a towering moose crossed my path that fought me fiercely. I took him down with glee, but found even he tasted poor with the memory of that girl's blood so fresh on my mind.

Her scent haunted me over the next two days. I reached Denali but couldn't bring myself to call on my friends in their giant homestead. Instead, I cowered in a snowbank, holding my breath, and willing my mind to cease spinning in circles.

Snow piled around me as I lay back to stare at the stars. Little snowflakes danced across my flesh like miniature kisses. They didn't melt as my flesh had cooled to the same temperature as the snow. Eventually the breeze would blow them away.

The sky was brilliantly clear. The view astonishing, and yet the only thing I seemed to be able to see was confused, dark eyes surrounded by swirls of blue black hair. I tried to see past her, to the awesomely swirling shapes in the cosmos. I tried to think about neutron stars, and black holes, and about the unfathomable size of the universe. My problems meant nothing by comparison. One little girl meant absolutely nothing.

So, then why couldn't I get her out of my head?

I flipped over onto my stomach, burying my face in the snow and made a lopsided snow angel, by wiping my right side arm and leg through the powder wider than the left. My limbs cut through the powder easily, creating perfectly shaped divots in the bank.

This wasn't getting any better. I'd been out here playing in the snow for five days and I was no closer to any possible answer than I had been when I first arrived.

The Denali coven had come out to check on me the first couple of days, but my consistent unresponsiveness had forced them to leave me alone. I knew it was rude, and yet I couldn't bring myself to tell them how badly off I truly was. How weak I had been.

As if the mere thought had willed them into existence soft footsteps crunched through the snow toward my hiding place. I groaned. I did not want to talk to anyone. As the footsteps approached I considered at least sitting up to face this intruder head on, but couldn't be bothered.

"What are you doing?" The crunching footsteps came to a halt close by. I recognized the amused voice, but didn't answer. Tanya plopped down in the snow next to me. The sound of snow sifting around unyielding flesh could be heard from the place she disappeared. She was making her own snow angel.

Of all the members of the coven, it wasn't surprising that Tanya had followed me. The two of us had been close when our families had cohabitated. We hadn't been mates, precisely, but whatever it was had been fun while it lasted.

"This feels nice," she commented, voice muffled. I sat up to appraise her. She was face first in the snow as I had been, her angel lopsided on the opposite side, complementing mine. Her long blonde curls were tangled up in the drifts above her head. She turned to glance up at me, and offered me a hand.

I took it and pulled her up. We stepped out of the angels we'd created and stood back from them admiring our work quietly. The silence stretched for a long while. It was nice to not be alone, to be in the wilderness with no one but another of my kind. No need to force shifting, or fidgeting, just to be still and quiet. Not even a breath of wind.

"Irina and Kate think I should leave you alone," Tanya ran a hand through her hair, brushing little bits of snow out of the strands. "They think I'm annoying."

"Not at all." I took a few steps away from the angels to lean up against a tree. "I'm the one being rude, hiding out here, not talking to anyone."

She followed my steps and came to a stop directly in front of me, expression very serious. "You're going home, aren't you?"

"I don't know." I shut my eyes and saw the girl's face.

"But you're not staying here?" She seemed a bit wistful. I opened my eyes to peer at her.

"Do you want me to?"

She shrugged, and purposefully increased the space between us. "I miss you." A moment later, "…I miss us."

_Wait, what? _"I thought you didn't…"

"I'm starting to think that was stupid."

I opened my mouth to protest.

"Fine, but it was definitely naïve." She blew an errant curl out of her face. "Just because we're surrounded by people that have found their mate doesn't mean it's common. It's not. And it was dumb of me to break off a good thing with you just because it wasn't what Carmen and Eleazar have. I may never find that."

My brain had gone entirely empty. No visions of murder, no desperate thirst, simply dumbfounded. Right before the Cullen family had moved away Tanya had very clearly admitted she was no longer interested in romantic involvement with me. We weren't mates, and that's what she wanted to find. She's right, of course. It _was_ naïve of her to think she would eventually find her soul mate, but I hadn't been offended then, and it wasn't something I had even considered now.

Tanya looked at me seriously as I dithered. "At first I thought that's why you came back… When you never came in, never spoke to anyone… I didn't know what to think."

"No," I jostled myself back into the conversation. "I'm sorry for confusing you. I should have been more open with you."

She took in my blank stare unhappily. "I am really not used to rejection," she stated, but I didn't get the impression she was actually upset.

Tanya and her sisters tended to prefer humans- it was how they eventually developed their consciences. At first, part of the conquest had been in the kill, but as hundreds of deaths mounted over the years the luster of that type of conquest began to fade. In time what had once been a thrill became repulsive. As Tanya put it; it gets harder to look in the mirror with mountains of the dead behind you.

This was something we had in common, that need to be better than we were- to be able to look in the mirror again. The three sisters had stopped killing their lovers some time in the last century. Now the men and women they loved lived.

"Of course not," I grinned at her. "Why should you be? You are the most beautiful woman in the known universe."

She swatted at me and grinned back playfully. "But it's not enough," she said with the most appealing of pouts.

"No," I repeated.

"Then why did you come here?"

"I have some things going on at home. I needed a break."

"Hang on." She eyed me suspiciously through narrowed slits. After a split second of consideration she threw herself at me, hooking her feet on my calves to climb up and fling her arms around my neck. Her lips whispered against mine, in light seductive butterfly kisses, the type of which used to make me melt under her touch. I wrapped my arms around her waist out of reflex, but I wasn't in the mood for a make-out session.

She pushed away from me, landed on her feet light as a cat, and glared at me.

"You've met someone!" She declared.

"I… what?"

Her face softened in wonder. "Oh my god," she whispered. "You've found your person."

"No," I shook my head and backed away from her slowly. She smacked away my upraised hand and gripped my arm to hold me in place.

"You have," she accused. "Is that why you're here?" She was starting to yell. "Did you _run away_ from them rather than admit you found your partner?"

"No!" This was ridiculous. I'd nearly killed a room full of people to eat this human. There was no possible way I could then be in love with her, and the last thing I needed was to be yelled at about an impossibility from an ex-lover.

"Tell me," she said, and plopped back down into the snow. She was still gripping my arm tightly. The look on her face told me she wouldn't give this up, so I relented. I told her everything; every detail falling from my mouth in a rush. I admitted how weak I felt, how cowardly my actions had been. How scared I was of disappointing my family. She shifted in the snow and pulled me into a hug, resting my head on her chest as she squeezed me.

"I'm so sorry, Emmett," she whispered into my hair. "You're not a coward. Running away was the bravest thing you could have done. Most of us wouldn't have had the strength to do it."

I gave in to the hug and wrapped my arms back around her waist. My eyes tightened and burned. If I could, I would have wept.

"Here's the thing," she continued. "You have to go back. She's your mate. You need to find her."

"How can you possibly still believe that?"

"Because I've never seen her and I could pick her out of a crowd of a thousand. You remember her every detail from before you ever caught her scent. What does that say to you?"

"That I have vampiric memory?" I mumbled. She chuckled.

"It tells me she was the first woman you've actually seen since I've known you."

"I nearly murdered thirty innocent people to get to her. If I go back I could kill her." I shifted away from the hug to sit up. "I will almost definitely kill her."

"Or you won't," Tanya lifted her hands to demonstrate scales. "You could either stay here in this snowbank forever, making ugly snow angels, or you could go back to Forks, and figure out what to do about this with your family supporting you." She dropped her left hand level with her bent knee. Her right hand was lifted level with her shoulder where she waggled the fingers practically.

She was right, again. We sat in comfortable silence for a while, feeling the velvety snow drift across our skin, watching the stars make their trek across the night sky.

"It's possible," she added quietly.

"What's possible?"

"To love a human," she said simply. I thought about the thousands of humans she'd loved over the millennia. I'd even met one or two of them in our years together.

"None of those people smelled like she does," I corrected her.

"No," she agreed. "But you're strong enough to control yourself. I have faith in you."

"Thanks," I muttered and stood, pulling the lithe vampire with me.

"It's a shame, though," she said. "We made a cute couple."

"You're too good for me anyway," I winked at her. She laughed and gave my shoulder another smack.

"If I don't see you again before you leave," she dusted herself off. "Goodbye and good luck, my friend. Oh, and one last thing," she tossed a tiny object my way. I snatched it out of the air and peered down at it. It was a key to a motorcycle.

"Bye, Tanya." She was gone before the words had finished leaving my mouth. I watched her run, then listened to the fall of her steps once she'd vanished from sight. When I could no longer hear her I slumped back into the snow and resumed staring at the stars.

What she'd said had been absolutely ludicrous. I couldn't be in love with someone I'd never met. Disregarding that, though, maybe she was right about running away. It had been the right decision at the time, but was I making the right decision by staying away? Was I now being a coward by hiding out in Alaska?

The more I thought about it the more wretched I felt, the clearer it became that I was being a coward by staying here. Who was this Delilah person that could scare a hundred year old vampire away? Who was she to push me out of my home, away from my family? I would go back, and I would know that I was stronger than my desire for her blood. I would win this fight.

I raced after Tanya, flying over the snowfield toward the Denali Clan household. When I arrived the motorcycle was parked out front, already facing the long drive away from the house. There was a note on it:

"You've got this."

* * *

"I'm going to be fine," I said again for the umpteenth time.

"Mmhmm," Alice agreed and continued to skip down the hall beside me.

"You really don't need to come to class with me," I repeated.

"I know." She made a little twirl mid skip.

"Alice," I stopped and waited for her to turn to face me. "Please don't come to class with me," I said firmly.

"Okay," she agreed easily and continued toward the door we'd been headed for.

"What are you going to do?" I rolled my eyes and followed her into the empty classroom. "Hide behind my seat for an hour?"

"Yes." She climbed the wide stairs to the top row, scooted behind the last row of seats and sat down. I couldn't even see the top of her head over the back of the seat.

"No wonder you didn't smell her from up here! All the air blows down." Alice piped up as I flipped the bottom of the theatre-style seat down and fell into it. A small desk attachment hung between the seats on the left side. I flipped it up and out of it's cubby, folded it over my lap, and pulled my notebook prop out of my bag.

"Are you going to talk through this whole class?"

"Maybe," she answered, solemnly.

Alice was too good to me. I didn't deserve her. I reached back and ruffled her hair. "Thanks, kid."

"Hey!" She caught my wrist to pull my hand away from her head. "I'm older than you."

The class trickled in by twos and threes. I forced myself into a relaxed posture, and pretended to doodle. In reality my entire body was tense with stress. I was fairly certain I could handle being near her again, but I was glad for Alice's presence nonetheless. If I could make it through this, lunch would be a breeze. If lunch went okay, I would try to go to lab. Breathing would be difficult, but hopefully I wouldn't have to use my air on speech and wouldn't need to breathe for the hour.

The other students filled the bottom three rows first, then slowly filled in the seats higher up. Not a single student chose a seat within three rows of me. This was not unusual, but for some reason I was surprised by the lack of interest in me. Was it possible she didn't tell anyone about our encounter?

Edward had mentioned that she seemed to keep her head down. Everything he knew about her he'd fished out of her head from the odd reaction, or from conversations during break. La never seemed to speak about herself, she never talked about why she came here, and she never offered up any other personal information. She didn't even think about it. Edward was as bemused by this as I was, but not terribly interested in finding out why. I supposed it didn't affect him past my own interest.

Heavy footfalls climbed the steps up past the invisible line that separated me from the rest of the class. They came to an abrupt halt and didn't move again. Alice's hand snuck up between the seats to give my elbow a brief squeeze. I kept my eyes trained on the piece of paper on the desk in front of me. My fingers moved the pen in swift figure eights so violently the ballpoint tore the paper. The whole time I was fighting the desire to look at her. Why wasn't she moving? Was she looking at me? Was she scared? Angry? Suspicious?

The professor began her lecture and La still hadn't moved. The pen I was holding gave a slight crack as its structural integrity finally gave in to the pressure I was exerting. La stumbled a little, then moved to a seat several rows up, directly on the aisle.

Finally I could look at her. She'd kept her jacket on. The weather was genuinely horrible, and there were still pieces of ice and snow dusting her shoulders from her walk to class. Strands of her hair were dancing around her head creating a fuzzy halo. Long coils of it swept down her back, while others stuck to the fabric of her jacket around her shoulders. She kept pulling long strands of curls through her fingers, straightening and smoothing them into one long tendril, twirling it, then dropping it in favor of another section.

Twice she started to turn toward me, and twice she paused halfway through and returned her attention to the professor. Her notebook sat open and empty before her. Occasionally she would write a page number down, or a keyword. It took me a moment to realize she was trying to keep up with only the important points to study later. Had she already taken this class? Was she familiar with the material?

I wanted to bellow in frustration. This was so dumb. I should just go sit next to her and ask her. Alice's fingers tightened on my elbow. _Right,_ I remembered. _Maybe don't go strike up a conversation with the woman you almost killed last week. Not my best plan._

The hour felt interminable. I was fidgety and on edge; shifting and tapping, and behaving like a human in almost every regard. Alice's firm presence was more of a help than I ever would admit out loud, and thankfully, she didn't speak during the entire class.

As soon as the professor dismissed the class La jumped up from her seat and ran for the door. I exchanged a look with Alice who had jumped over the back of the seat the moment La had gotten up.

"That went well?" She asked. We walked to the pavilion together, Alice taking detours to jump in the little patches of snow along the sidewalk that hadn't melted yet. We took our usual seats at a round table for six set between two heating lamps.

"We're not downwind from where she'll be if we sit here, so it's perfectly safe." Alice sat daintily on the edge of her seat peering behind me to watch for Jasper's arrival. He and Edward joined us quickly, flanking us on either side.

"It's fine, guys," I assured them. "Seriously."

They both looked at Alice whose gaze went unfocused. Jasper was on guard, attentively watching our surroundings like a scout on first watch. Edward's eyes flicked from one person to the next.

"Yes, I really think it _will_ be okay," Alice agreed, eyes coming back to rest lightly on me.

"I just said that." Everyone ignored me. It was an uncomfortable experience to be the focal point of their attention. This must be what Jasper went through with us every day. _Ugh_. I felt a genuine stab of sympathy for him. He gave me a questioning look having picked up on it.

I grimaced. "I feel for you man, all this protective hovering is a little extreme."

He smiled vaguely, but went straight back to scouting.

While I poked fun at them, my own nerves were drawn extremely tight. It felt like I could snap at the least provocation. Every screech of chair leg against the floor went through me like a knife, every laugh that was just a little too loud sent tingles down my spine. This was agony. More and more people entered the pavilion, all blissfully unaware of my plight. The Davis girl's usual table began to fill up. It was possible she would skip lunch, and all of this awkward hovering will have been for nothing.

"You know," Edward was still sifting through the minds of the surrounding humans. "I don't think she's said anything to anyone. I thought maybe she would have mentioned your odd behavior in passing, at least, but she seems to have given it up entirely."

All three of us turned toward Edward in surprise.

"Nothing new at all?" Jasper asked.

"No, not at all. Not all day."

Jasper turned toward me. "Are you sure she reacted the way you told us?"

I thought back to that fateful day in the classroom when I'd nearly upended our lives. There was no mistaking it, the girl had nearly fallen off her stool in shock at my black gaze. I could remember distinctly the way her heart had sped up, knocking around in her chest, her pupils were almost entirely dilated… "Yeah, definitely."

"That most certainly looks like a fear reaction, though the lack of scent in your memory makes it hard to know for sure," Edward agreed, plucking the picture of La right out of my head.

"Well, the lack of scent is the only reason any of us are sitting here right now, so…."

"Yes, of course," Edward allowed. "I wonder if I should pay her uncle a visit? Perhaps she said something to him."

"Possible, but I don't think it matters for now," Jasper added. "They don't live together, and it doesn't immediately affect anything."

"Wait," I cut in. "She has an uncle here? How do you know all this about her?"

"We did some research," Alice chimed. The two men looked at her blankly. "Okay, I did some research."

"You mean you stalked her," I grinned.

"Only a little bit," Alice admitted. "I was curious! She seems nice."

"It doesn't explain why she hasn't said anything to anyone," Jasper said.

We all shook our heads in mute agreement.

"She's coming!" Alice hissed. "Look human!"

Another silence followed this statement as we all stared at Alice.

"What?" I asked.

"How do you propose we do that?" Edward asked with a wide smirk.

"Like this," Alice threw a fistful of wet slush directly into my face. I ducked just in time and caught most of it in my hair.

"Oh you've asked for it," I grunted with an evil smile, then shook myself at her, spraying shards of ice and drops of water all over the table and onto her designer blouse.

Edward shrank back from the deluge while Alice swatted playfully at me. We were all laughing and flicking each other with the left over water when I finally heard La enter the pavilion. She stopped when she saw us laughing. I heard an indelicate snort, and her footsteps continued toward the table of her friends.

When I heard her chair move, and the soft thunk it made when she collapsed into it, I thought it was safe to risk a glance. Her back was to me again, the way it had been in class. She leaned forward to talk to a skinny male with greasy black hair, then answered a question thrown at her by the blonde male. They were all fighting for her attention, trying to one up each other with their trivial stories.

She couldn't possibly be interested in any of them, could she? I wanted to see her face! That way I could know for myself what her reactions to them were. Instead I watched her body language from behind. Noticed how her shoulders shifted when she was uncomfortable, how she flicked her hair when she was talking animatedly.

"Emmett Cullen is staring at you," the girl across from her said suddenly. I hadn't even noticed she was looking at me. The girl added a small giggle to her statement that sounded forced.

I listened harder for La's answer. I was far too invested in this.

La's shoulders went stiff at the girl's words. There was half a beat of silence, and then she said, "Does he look angry?"

_Aha, _I thought at Edward. _She did notice._ Of course she did. I knew she must have, it was impossible that she might not have noticed. Even after the discussion I'd just shared with my siblings, I think I was still hoping she hadn't. It would have been easier to move on. Now I would have to correct that first impression- which meant attempting a conversation in our shared lab after lunch.

"No?" Jessica asked. "Should he?"

I was nearly lifting out of my seat in my eagerness to know her answer. My elbows were on the table, resting underneath my chin where I leaned forward, entirely engrossed.

"Of course not," she answered easily, then glanced over her shoulder at me. She didn't have to hunt for me, she knew exactly where I was in relation to her seat. At first she started when she saw I was still looking at her. It was a sort of relief to finally be making eye contact. Her expression was a little tense, but it soon relaxed as we maintained the contact. Her eyes were so dark and deep they seemed unfathomable.

La lift an eyebrow into a high arch. The look was one of open curiosity and invitation. She wasn't mad at me for treating her the way I had. She wasn't bothered by the fact that I'd stormed out on her. She smiled at me like I'd told her a corny joke. I smiled back and wiggled my fingers at her from underneath my chin. I would have bat my eyelashes, too, but thought it might be too much. She made that indelicate snorting sound again. The sound was accompanied by the most delightful expression: her nose scrunched up, and her eyes turned to little crescents.

Jessica stole her attention from me again. "Then why did you ask?"

La turned toward her and made a tiny noncommittal shrug. "I just thought he might not like me so much."

Edward cleared his throat. I swept my eyes toward my siblings. They were all watching me with wide eyes.

"What?" I said.

"What just happened?" Alice asked.

"I thought you were supposed to have those answers."

"Your whole future just went grey and fuzzy…." Her eyes went in and out of focus. I looked at Edward for explanation.

"She was watching your future for the next class, and it sort of faded out when the two of you were making eyes at each other."

"We weren't…" I began to say.

"Shut up, Emmett. Of course you were," Alice interrupted.

"Uhm," I glanced back toward La. Her back was set rigidly against me. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed like the move was deliberate. Just like in class she would occasionally begin turn, catch herself, and resolutely turn back toward the table.

I directed my attention to the rest of the people at the table, hoping to glean some tidbits of information about La by the way other people reacted to her. The blonde male was at the far end, quietly planning a snow fight with a small group for the first snowfall of the season. It was expected over the next couple of days. Apparently this would be the snow fight to end all snow fights; the snow fight of _epic proportions._

It seemed like a silly thing to plan in advance. Snowball fights were always best when they were a surprise. What a stupid person. A chime sounded from the table. La picked up her phone, and shut the sound off. The entire table got to their feet and slowly made their way in separate directions, promising to fulfill plans later on, or share notes.

Humans filed past our table on all sides. I stayed in my seat, trying to listen to the sound of her footsteps as she joined a group leaving through the front entrance. This was silly of course, there was nothing I could learn from the ability to distinguish her footsteps from a hundred others. But was I really pretending this was still about self preservation? Yes, it had to be. Nothing else made sense.

My family remained in their seats with me. When the last human had left, I still didn't stand. I wasn't sure if I was ready to sit so close to such an absurdly potent scent. To feel the heat of her blood radiating across the space between us. Maybe one class was enough experimentation for today.

"You've gone and mucked it all up, but I _think_ it's okay," Alice said, but she sounded far from sure. "Your mind is pretty set on not killing her. I don't see her dying anymore…" She shared a glance with Edward.

"What was that?" I asked immediately. "What did that look mean?"

"I don't know, Emmett." She rubbed at her eyebrows like she had a headache. "It's all tangled now, and not much of it makes sense. I _think_ you'll make it through the next hour."

I nodded. A part of me was still struggling to understand what the big deal was. I mean, I'd either kill her or I wouldn't, right? The next hour would bring the answer to that, and maybe it was just better to get it over with. One way or another, like ripping off a bandaid. It was always better to just face things head on, take care of problems as they arise. Nothing good ever came from indecision.

Esme came to mind all over again. If I messed up, I'd uproot the whole family… again, when we'd finally made it out of high school. Pushing it might be a terrible idea. Didn't we just have this discussion about Jasper?

"Why push it, Emm?" Jasper asked, echoing my thoughts. "Let's go home, take it slow. Don't risk it."

Those words decided me. Jasper was just relieved he wasn't the weak one anymore, but I'll be damned if I was going to be the weak link in our family. I would go to this stupid lab, and epically _not_ kill this human that smelled better than every happy memory on earth. Besides, I really wanted to go to lab. I really wanted to see that smile again, and ask her what had caused it.

"There," Alice relaxed. "It's firming up. I am at least 93 percent sure Emmett won't kill anyone. Do you want one of us to come with you just in case?"

"Nah," I pushed away from the table and stood up. "Go to class," I called over my shoulder and strode toward the building labeled with a large number 3 on the corner. I could tell they were still trying to decide whether or not to follow me. I assumed Alice would be standing right outside the door, watching my future, looking for any signs I might give in. I wouldn't.

My confidence continued until I stood right outside the door. La was already at our desk pushing her bag underneath with her toe. She sat on the stool and gripped the fingers of her right hand tightly with her left. I took one last deep breath, held it, and walked in.

As I approached I could see she was very tense. Her knuckles had gone pale where her fingers bent into the grip of her other hand. Was she scared? Her heartbeat sounded normal, if a bit quick.

To announce my presence, I pulled my stool out heavily, allowing it to scrape against the floor. She didn't respond to the noise, outside of a slight crack in one of her knuckles, so I went about putting my things away, hoping she would look up from the glare she was pointing at her hands. When this continued, I decided to draw her out.

"Hey," I tilted my head down, trying to peer into her face. She waited a beat then looked up. Her face was carefully blank, like she was trying very hard not to communicate anything through her expressions. I swallowed, wholly unprepared for the intensity of her glare. While her expression betrayed no emotion, her eyes shot fierce questions at me.

"Hi," she said, still carefully devoid of emotion. When I smiled her eyes narrowed dramatically and roamed over my face as if she was trying to puzzle something out. When she didn't continue, I decided on a different tactic.

"I'm Emmett," I tried again. "You must be La."

She tilted her head and pressed her lips together lightly, eyes still very narrow. "Have we met before?"

_Uhh, why…? _ "I don't think so, why do you ask?" I was nearly out of air.

"I just wasn't sure how you would know my nickname," she said casually.

_Oh shit. _I made a huge oversight. Why didn't I think of that? I scrambled for an answer, but I would have to take a breath soon. This would be very, very painful. "Oh," I said. _Well, that's a genius response, _and I was out of air. _Shit shit shit._ I turned away from her and took a small breath of air through my mouth, keeping my nostrils closed. As a test I took in just enough for a sentence or two.

Good god it was terrible. The pain of it seared through me. Even without smelling her, I could taste her. My throat was on fire, burning with thirst. This craving was every bit as consuming as the first time I'd encountered her. I concentrated very hard on Esme's face before turning back to her. Was it quick enough to keep her from noticing? I glanced back to find her waiting for my explanation. It must have only been a second.

"I heard someone use it in reference to you…" I finished lamely, and only just caught myself at the last second when I nearly lifted the last word into a question.

La's lingering confusion settled on her face as she tried to accept my words. Her determination to keep her face and voice expressionless was made very apparent over the next few seconds as she went through several different responses, then finally accepted what I said. She couldn't hide a damn thing. Her face would give her away every time.

I grinned at her again, but she'd already turned toward her work station at the TA's word and started setting up her buret with very deliberate in her movements. Everything she did had an air of methodical practice. Clearly, she knew her way around a chemistry lab, and was comfortable with all of the equipment. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she worked through the steps of our experiment, then slowly broke each piece of equipment down at the end of lab. She didn't talk to me during the whole lab, too focused on her work.

In that moment, I longed for Edward's ability. I suddenly wanted to know everything that was going through her head. The reason for every minute facial change, for every sweep of the hair, knuckle crack, and eyebrow tilt. I wanted to know why she smiled at the things she did, and frowned at others. I wanted to hear her laugh, but had no idea what she would find funny.

Once my station was clean I settled onto the stool to wait for the rest of the class, most of which were still working. La was spraying alcohol on to a cloth to wipe down her station when she turned suddenly on to me. Her eyes bored into mine, unflinching. How is she not even remotely frightened by me like a normal human should be? Am I losing my touch?

"Did you get contacts?" She shot out. The question was so aggressive and random it shocked me into answering honestly without thinking.

"Nope! Why?" She started wiping down the counter again. I wanted to stop her, to make her look at me so I could keep watching the emotions that flicked across her face.

"I could have sworn your eyes were a different color last time I saw you," she mumbled, then met my eyes again.

_Fuck._ _That is not good. _"Oh," I said again, and took in another small breath. _Great, Emmett. Great conversation skills, today._ "I don't wear contacts." _WHAT? Or maybe, 'yeah! I was trying a new set last week,' or 'Yes, these are brand new,' how about literally anything else?_

La frowned. I needed to get out of here before I gave anything else away. This was agony. Her scent was making me do stupid things, and I was quickly losing control of the situation. Just as I started to bend to get my bag, La spoke again.

"So, umm… What did you get for pH4 and 6? I'm not sure I calibrated my buret properly…" She had done it correctly. I had watched her. I opened my prop notebook, and moved hers closer to mine for "comparison."

"No, I think you've got it right," I said gently. "Those are definitely within the frame of error…." I quickly went through her list checking her calculations. They were all perfect.

"Shame about the snow letting off, isn't it?" _There you go!_ That sounded normal, like a normal human would say it. Nothing to see here, folks, totally normal human talking about the weather…

She laughed. It was not a kind laughter. It came out in a sarcastic bark that sounded almost derisive. "No."

"No? Why do you say it like that?"

"If it's cold enough to snow, it's too damn cold," she spat. Was that a southern accent I detected? I hadn't heard it before that sentence. Maybe it came and went with particular words?

"And you don't like the cold, I take it?"

"I do not. Cold is nearly the worst thing," she explained with some heat. This was clearly a familiar rant. "The only thing that can make it more miserable is wet _and_ cold."

I was laughing before she finished. "How on earth did you end up in Forks?"

"I…" her eyes dropped to her hands, which she was squeezing again. Her shoulders fell forward a little, and she let her hair fall into her face. For a split second I wasn't sure if she would continue, but eventually she pulled herself together and continued the sentence from where she'd dropped it. "Wanted a change and I have some family here, and this is a good school."

_Not that good. Not good enough for perfect calculations on the first try. _"Even though you hate the wet and cold?"

"It's pretty here," she rebutted. "Stunning, actually."

I wanted to shake my head in disbelief, or hug her, or ask a thousand more questions, but I couldn't bring myself to do any of those things. Instead I stared at her, trying to catch every flicker of facial movement, every tiny tilt of the mouth. Humans were _not_ interesting. So why was I so interested? Why was I hanging on to her every word? Who _was_ this girl?

She shook a little, and dug her fingers into her hair, then shook it out behind her. The motion sent a wave of fresh scent bombarding over me. It nearly knocked me backwards, it was so strong. For an intense second I thought it was over, that I would kill her right then, and I almost rejoiced, but then she spoke.

"Are you okay?" She asked. It was in the same tone of voice I'd heard that first day in the pavilion; carefully controlled, the question only being asked because it seemed like the thing to do.

Why did she sound like that? Curiosity may have just saved the cat.

With a quick nod, and a forced smile I ran from the room. Alice was outside waiting for me. Her eyes were wide and fearful.

"That close, huh?" I stalked down the hall away from her. Once she caught me she nodded, owl eyed.

"What changed?"

"I don't know, sis," I opened the door to the stairwell and flitted down to the first level. "I'm starting to think I might have."

"Hmm…" she grabbed my hand and lifted it to twirl underneath, expression still pensive. "Well, you made it anyway. Maybe it will get easier?"

I shuddered. I couldn't imagine a scenario where it could ever be easier to sit in the presence of that scent.

Alice, Jasper and I shared our last class of the day. As we made our way toward it Jasper approached from the other side of the hall. He didn't show any surprise, relief, or even disappointment, face carefully blank and disinterested.

"So," he said. "You made it, then."

"Yep!" Alice trilled for me. I smiled down at the annoying little pixie, and tried to grab her to muss her hair again. She dodged easily and fled into the classroom. The professor was the sole inhabitant inside. We each gave him a slight nod, or "good afternoon," then moved to our seats at the back of the class.

We sat in silence as students filed in. We arranged our props, placing our bags on the floor, pulling out empty notebooks. Alice had a leather pencil case full of ridiculously expensive pens. She set it carefully on the desk, assessing the angle against her notebook, then tried a different angle. I shook my head. Alice loved to pretend she was overly concerned with trivial things. We all had our ways of dealing with the monotony.

My life seemed far from monotonous now. This human female had dropped into my existence out of nowhere and thrown everything out of perspective.

"She has no fear," I suddenly whispered to Jasper. "It's like whatever internal warning system most humans have has been turned off in her. Why isn't she scared of me?"

Jasper remained quiet for some time. "It has happened occasionally…" he let the thought drift off.

"What does it mean?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said vaguely, and reshuffled the props on his desk. I looked past him to see Alice had gone still and starry eyed.

"Alice?"

"Well," she muttered quietly. "Her future is just as tangled up as yours. It looks a little like its tangled up _with_ yours, but humans are hard to see sometimes. It could be her lack of instinctual aversion is because whatever is happening right now was always going to happen."

"Then why didn't you see it before now?"

"I barely see it now," she frowned at me. "And you know it doesn't work like that. From the way you've got the future all tangled up, it's still a possibility you'll kill her."

"Would that be so bad?" Jasper whispered. Alice and I stared at him, astounded. "I'm just saying you wouldn't be the first one to slip, and not a single one of us would judge you. I'm already impressed you've been able to hold out as long as you have."

Alice continued to watch him narrowly. Jasper took the scrutiny comfortably. "What do you know?" she asked.

The first signs of discomfort broke through his calm veneer. "I don't…"

"You know something?" I hissed just a little too loudly. The professor snatched his head around the class, but didn't quite look in our direction. Humans never did… which is why it was so weird that this La Davis didn't seem to notice how wrong we were.

"I've seen humans respond like her before," he finally admitted. "It was one of the things the southern tribes looked for."

Jasper came from a part of the country where vampirism was steeped in war and blood. Their clans had one purpose; to control more of the human population than the other clans. Larger territories meant better hunting. The wars were constant, and violent. Jasper barely escaped with his life after more than a century steeped in blood.

"Why did you look for them?" Alice prodded.

"Because it usually meant those humans would have a more positive capacity to take on vampirism. Frequently, these types of humans would have an unusual or hidden talent. Occasionally, it meant the turn was a little quicker, meaning they could join the army faster. They're rarer than those of us with talents, and once turned tend to be particularly powerful."

I switched my gaze to Alice. "So she's meant to be a vampire?"

"I don't think anyone is _meant_ to be a vampire, Emmett."

"Says the Seer."

"I _told_ you it doesn't work like that!" She said impatiently.

The professor was conjugating verbs at the front of the room. Jasper's word's tumbled around in my head, as though they were trying to make connections that I couldn't quite see.

Was all of this a sick coincidence?

"Has this ever happened to you?" I asked through the side of my mouth. I didn't look at him, didn't want to see the answer on his face.

"Yes, twice."

He didn't continue for quite some time. We pretended to listen to the professor in silence. The sounds of paper shuffling, and the light scritches of pens surrounded us.

"There was no reason for me to resist," he said. "This was before Alice found me, before we came to find the Cullens."

"What was it like?"

"It was every dream we can no longer have."

Thinking about her was becoming too much. I found myself savoring the memory of her scent, imagining what it would feel like to have her warm body in my arms as I drank from her. I imagined she would be compliant, and soft; happy to be near me. Emotions I didn't recognize stirred in my gut. I imagined the possibility that I could feel her skin beneath my fingers but not bite her, or maybe I could taste her and not kill her.

A groan escaped me. It was all becoming too much. The other two looked at me expectantly.

"I've got to go," I popped up and fled toward the door. The professor called after me, but I didn't answer. As I reached the front doors of the building, Edward caught up with me.

"Please don't," I said, and sped toward the car. He didn't answer, but he kept pace with me. When we reached the car I gave up.

_Where is she?_ I opened the hatch and tossed my bag in, then slammed it shut and leaned against it heavily.

"Her biology class is just letting out," he answered.

_Did you hear what Jasper said?_

"Yes," he leaned against the car shoulder to shoulder with me. I appreciated the support.

_What do you think?_ I felt him shrug. Students were starting to trickle out of various buildings and make their way to their cars.

"There's no use dwelling on it. We won't know unless she becomes one of us," he said.

_Yeah, I can't imagine any reason that would ever happen. If I bite her, I will kill her, no question._

"Sure," he answered. "She's coming now."

A small gaggle of students made their way down to the parking lot. I picked her out immediately, eyes drawn to her as though she were the only one in a group of a thousand. It was raining very slightly. The dribbling water had soaked into my hair and was dripping down the back of my neck into my shirt.

La glared up at the sky and pulled the hood of her jacket over her head, keeping it right at her hairline, so she could still see around it to her companion. She was walking with the blonde enthusiastic fellow from her group of lunch friends. He was hovering around her proprietarily. La kept skittering sideways to create more space between them. Couldn't he see that she didn't want him around?

A particularly large drop of water splashed against her cheek. Little droplets caught in her eyelashes and shined like microscopic diamonds. She glared up at the sky again, frown so deep it cut crevices along the sides of her mouth. Next to me, Edward chuckled.

"She is cursing rather spectacularly at the rain," he murmured. I smiled, but continued to concentrate on taking very shallow breaths. Any moment she would be close enough for the wind to carry her scent to me. I needed to be careful. I had to be ready to stop breathing.

La and her companion were speaking animatedly, though La still looked uncomfortable as they made their way through the line of cars. The male tilted his head in my direction, and La followed his gaze, meeting my eyes for a prolonged second.

"I don't know what that's about," I heard her squeak, and watched as she fumbled her bag off her shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mike."

She jumped into the black Fiat Abarth they were standing next to, unceremoniously throwing her bag into the passenger seat, and turned the engine over without hesitation. Once the car was happily puttering she seemed to relax, taking the time to plug in her phone, queue some music, and get the vents turned in the right direction. The air was blowing so forcefully strands of her hair were flying around her head like a living thing, fighting to get free of the hood she still had pulled over it.

Alice and Jasper were now making their way down toward our car. I could hear them whispering sweet nothings to each other. It would have been sweet if it wasn't so vomit inducing.

Inside the car, La pulled her hood back and shook out her hair, pulling some of the mass through her fingers to untangle it in the blowing air. I shuddered, imagining the force of the scent that must be swirling around in that car. My mouth began to flood with venom involuntarily. To be surrounded with that scent would be the most delicious torture.

As Alice and Jasper reached us, La met my eyes in the rearview mirror one last time. She stared at me as I blatantly watched her, questions dancing around in her face, then she dropped the emergency break, put the car in reverse, and backed out of her space… right into a Corolla.

The Toyota only missed her by swerving dramatically. The driver honked its horn as an obnoxious reprimand then took off out of the north exit. Inside the Fiat La made an exaggerated grimace, and proceeded to back out much more carefully. She checked her mirrors, and blind spots several times before pulling entirely out of the space and taking off with a low rumble.


	3. Chapter 3: Mistakes

**CHAPTER THREE.**

* * *

**MISTAKES**

"Where are you headed, son?" Carlisle was in his study with the door standing invitingly open. I paused on the threshold to peer in.

"I'm going to hunt." My words were clipped short like little staccato beats. As soon as I heard myself I wanted to take them back immediately. I grimaced. It was unfair of me to treat him that way.

Carlisle nodded with an understanding I didn't deserve. They all knew why my temper was fizzling on such a quick fuse. This hunting expedition was by no means necessary- I wasn't thirsty by a long shot, but I hoped positively filling myself to bursting would help keep the thirst under control when I was in the Davis girl's presence again. The next day at school wouldn't be so bad, fortunately, because she and I only shared the break. Worst case I could make myself scarce during that hour.

Better to be safe than a murderer.

"I'll come with you." Carlisle didn't give me a chance to demur. Within a fraction of a second he had joined me on the landing. Up close his eyes were a shade of forest green that sparkled with little flecks of yellow. He did not need to hunt any more than I did. This was a clear ploy to get me alone to have a frank discussion. I guessed after everything I'd put him through I owed him this.

"Sure," I sat on the banister and rode it down to the bottom floor. Carlisle followed me at a much more sedate pace taking the stairs one at a time.

In the living room Esme was trimming and hemming curtains by hand. A long piece of drapery was spread over a work table, tumbling over the sides and bunching onto the floor. There wasn't a sewing machine in sight. Esme said she was much more precise than any machine she'd ever used. I took her at her word- I wouldn't know the difference anyway.

It was nice to see her like this, though; perfectly content, humming softly to herself as she readjusted the large swathe of fabric and pinned down another section to be hemmed.

Alice and Jasper were playing Mario Kart on the couch, giggling and elbowing each other as they shot blue shells at each other.

Carlisle and I exited through the kitchen and immediately darted into the surrounding forest. We ran quietly for several miles, but I could feel the burning questions emanating from him like sun rays as we ran.

He couldn't be blamed for the curiosity. Our last conversation was not a pleasant memory.

"_I have to go,"_ I'd told him. The words had been forced out violently through waves of sickness that were nearly incapacitating me. "_Now."_

"_Go? Where? What happened?"_

"_Nothing yet, but I can't control it. I have to go."_

He'd reached for me, but I'd cringed away from him feeling dirty and unworthy of a man that had dedicated his entire existence to saving humans. Carlisle was a saint to mortal kind, how could I ever compare to a man that fought through desperate thirst as a newborn in order to save as many people as possible? The short answer was that I couldn't. Especially not after nearly killing an innocent girl.

"_I don't understand,"_ he'd plead with me. The possibility of splitting his family up was surely hurting him.

"_Has any one human ever smelled…"_ I didn't know how to finish that thought. _"Perfect?"_

"_Ah,"_ His expression had gone carefully blank. There was no mistaking it- he _had_ experienced this. He clapped a hand to my shoulder. _"Do whatever you need to do to resist, son."_

"_What did you do?" _I begged for validation.

"_I ran,"_ was his simple answer. _"Take my car."_ He held the keys out between us, but I declined. I needed to run, to feel the air on my skin, to breathe clean oxygen. The exact same thing the two of us were doing now, running silently through the night.

"Did I do the right thing?" He asked me, breaking the surreal quiet.

"By letting me go to Alaska?" We sped through the wet forest side by side. Drops of water fell from the branches overhead, creating a soft rustling sound that emanated from all around us.

"Yes."

"Yeah," I assured him. "The only other option would have been unforgivable."

"Nothing is unforgivable," he instantly disagreed.

"I don't think I would have been able to forgive myself," I muttered, but wondered if that were true. When I'd first smelled that bewildering girl, I didn't know her at all, had no reason to distinguish her from any other human. She wouldn't have been my first encounter with human blood, only my first innocent. Had I stayed and hunted her later, like I intended, I think I would have found forgiveness quite easily given time.

Now it was different. If I hurt her now it would be the worst kind of tragedy, and I didn't understand why. Nothing had changed, really. There was only the difference of a single conversation, and yet- nothing was the same.

"Why did you come back?" Carlisle wondered.

"I had to," I admitted. "I felt like a coward. I felt weak and I didn't like it."

"Removing yourself was not an act of cowardice," Carlisle disagreed firmly. "You saved a life. You should be very proud of the strength it took to do that."

His words felt like a balm. "I guess, by the time I got to Alaska it didn't feel that way. It felt like I was hiding, and I wanted to prove to myself I was strong enough to do this. That I _am_ strong enough to do this."

"You know how happy I am to have you home, son, but I am sorry you're suffering. If this is too much, if it is too difficult to stay…"

"No," I interrupted. "I don't like feeling like a coward. I don't want to feel like that again."

We slowed to a jog, beginning to peer through the darkness for our query.

"It's better than putting her in danger, son. She'll be gone in a year or two." I hadn't considered that. My leaving and staying away would ostensibly solve this entire problem. Two years would pass in the blink of an eye for me and then I could come back safely because she would be gone.

Just a year or two and she would be gone… I would never see her again.

Carlisle turned in time to catch my expression. "You're not going to go, are you?" He asked with calm realization.

We stopped running. I bowed my head in shame. Of course I wouldn't leave, I couldn't, though I had no reason to stay. A vision of the girl's dark eyes dancing with questions in the rearview, as I'd last seen her, came to mind with ferocious intensity. Was that it? Was I eager to answer her questions? That could be even more dangerous than anything else.

"Is it pride?" Carlisle asked. Normally he would be right on the money, but this time everything was all tangled and confused, and I didn't know what to tell him. "There's no shame in-"

"No," The word dropped from my mouth like a stone. "It's not pride."

"Do you feel you have nowhere to go?"

"No," This time the declaration was softer. I could hear the moroseness in my own voice. Carlisle was growing more and more concerned.

"We will go with you, if that's what you need. We've done it before. None of us will begrudge you this."

Again, he was right. Esme would be disappointed to leave her beloved house behind, but she wouldn't dream of complaining.

"I know," I whispered.

"Emmett," he squeezed my shoulder. "It's better to leave now than later, after a life has been ended."

_Ugh,_ I shuddered. "I know," I agreed again.

"But you won't leave?"

"I should," I answered.

He watched me for a moment, musing. "Tanya called," he mentioned casually.

A pang stabbed my stomach. "And?" I asked calmly. "What did she have to say?"

"She has some theories," he said vaguely.

I sighed. "Care to share?"

"She thinks it's possible you've found your mate."

"That makes the least sense of all," I rebutted. "I've had one conversation with this girl, and the only other time I was in her proximity I nearly killed her. If that's how our kind find mates, it's a wonder any of us have one at all."

He laughed. "You're right that it would be an unusual case."

The scent from a herd of deer wafted toward us.

"Shall we?" Carlisle suggested. We crouched and let the scent drag us through the trees in silence. With the scent of La so fresh in my mind, these deer were particularly unappealing. I had absolutely no desire to force myself through this, especially since it wouldn't likely help at all in the end.

As we approached the deer, I told myself the possible alternative was even less appealing.

The temperature had dropped by the time we returned home. The mushy sleet had almost melted entirely while the sun was out, then as the sun went down the water had hardened into a thick layer of ice that shone from every surface.

Carlisle left me by the bank of the river that ran through our property. He went on to change for his shift at the hospital while I sat on a boulder discontentedly watching the water. I thought about what Tanya had said and wondered if I should be upset that she'd outed me to the family. It wasn't any of her business if I fell in love with a giraffe. She certainly shouldn't be calling my father about it.

Even thinking about it critically didn't bring any anger on. I was officially spent. My life had been so easy before La Davis fell into it. Hunt, wrestle with Jasper, rib Edward, hunt, try to play pranks on Alice, hold up swatches of fabric for Esme, hunt, wrestle some more. Now my brain was full of the gorgeous scent and delicate flush of a _human_.

I shifted on my boulder feeling bloated and ill at ease. The deer's blood sloshed uncomfortably in my stomach. Annoyingly, this discomfort probably wouldn't help at all when I was finally in the vicinity of this girl, but I had to try. I sank my fingers into the rock, feeling it turn to dust as easily as if I had sunk my fingers into sand and stared off into the trees.

Little icicles clung to the tips of each pine needle, and dripped from the edges of the leaves. The forest looked crystalline in the absolute stillness of pre-dawn.

"_Stunning actually,"_ she'd said. She had a point, Forks was beautiful. Would I have noticed before she said it?

It would be easy enough to spread some story, any story, about why the largest Cullen had left- transfer, vacation, boredom, beheading, whatever. No one would question it. I should leave. It was the safest option, the easiest one to explain away. In a couple of years I could come back after she had moved on.

My staying away could mean that La would have the chance to go to graduate school, meet someone, get married, have babies, all the things young humans did. The rage I missed when thinking about Tanya finally surfaced as I envisioned La with someone else. Someone like that blonde from her group of friends. The one with a stupid face, and stupider hair. I imagined him touching her, having a life with her.

_Life_. I couldn't offer her that.

_Hold the phone!_ Did I _want_ to offer her that? Is that what this rage meant? Could Tanya be right? I rebelled at the idea. Even if she could potentially be my mate, that would be wholly selfish and incredibly wrong to take her life away. I couldn't make that decision for her. Better to remove myself and give her all the chances she deserved.

Carlisle always knew best. I should have listened to him immediately instead of sitting out here pulverizing a boulder, waffling about possible feelings. Since when was I a waffler, anyway?

The sun peeked out from behind some clouds, skittered across my skin, and glistened off the frozen landscape.

_One more_, I decided. I would see her one more time, then take myself out of the country. Maybe putting oceans between us would lessen this awful longing I felt. This time it would be exponentially more difficult than the first time I left. I would want to talk to her again, but I couldn't allow myself to do that. I pushed myself into motion, leaping off the boulder and jogging toward the house.

In my room I quickly changed for school, then headed back downstairs. Alice was sitting on the steps leading to the second floor. She was hunched up around her knees, looking forlorn.

"You're leaving," she said sadly.

"Yep," I plopped down next to her, and threw an arm around her shoulders.

"I can't see where you're going," she mumbled.

"I don't know where I'm going yet, kid."

"I don't want you to go," she pouted. I didn't answer. I didn't want to go either. "Maybe Jazz and I can go with you?" she asked, devoid of hope.

"No," I gave her a little squeeze. "They'll need you here. Think of what Esme would say to have half her family leave in one go?"

"She'll be so sad without you," she countered.

"That's my point," I said. "That's why you have to stay. I've gotta do the right thing, munchkin." She hated that nickname, so it was a testament to how sad she was that she let me get away with it without comment.

"How do you know what's right?" she asked and rubbed her face. "Your future is shifting around so quickly I can't see any one thing for longer than a second. It's all hazy, and imprecise…. Then there's this picture of a meadow?"

"A meadow?" I leaned away to see her face more clearly.

"It's a smallish, perfectly circular meadow filled with wildflowers. The sun is shining, and you're out in the sunlight… there's someone with you, but I can't see who…" she rubbed her face again. "This is hurting my head. Do you know that place?"

"Yeah, I think I do." I frowned. _Why would she be seeing that? _"I go there when the sun's out a lot. It's quiet, and pretty."

"Why haven't you taken me there?"

"'Cause that would defeat the purpose of being alone and quiet," I grinned.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Something is changing, and I don't know what. You're at a… crossroads, but I get the feeling that all of this will play out very soon. It feels imminent."

"Wow," I goggled at her. "You sound like you should be wearing bright colors, and multiple rings on each finger." I looked around quickly. "Where's your tent? I didn't realize the carnival was in town!"

She laughed. "This is serious."

"I know," I said. "How is today? Does it look alright?"

"It's fuzzy, but I don't see you killing anyone today."

"Oh good," I flung myself backward on the stairs, arm covering my face. "Not killing anyone is a huge relief."

"Hey," she said softly. I lifted my arm to peer at her. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too, kid."

The ride to school was quiet and sullen. Jasper was looking between us in confusion. I wondered what sorts of things he was picking up off of me when I couldn't decipher what I was feeling myself. Belatedly it occurred to me that he was likely the only one that didn't know I was leaving. I wondered why Alice didn't tell him.

As soon as Edward pulled into the west parking lot I started to look for her. I told myself I was just preparing to withstand the force of her scent, but that was silly. I couldn't smell her from inside the Volkswagen.

It was ridiculous how she had become the center of my universe in the matter of a few days. It felt as though I revolved around her, carefully tip toeing around to avoid disturbing our fragile balance. This type of behavior did not suit my temperament. I wanted to barrel through this. Demand answers, and create spectacle. I wanted to break things.

We each got out of the car. La hadn't arrived yet, but I could hear the rumble of her Abarth as she came down the road. Jasper went straight to class, bored or overwhelmed by the tense emotions that swarmed us. Edward started to leave, but when Alice stayed resolutely by my side, paused to watch. He probably wanted to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. If I did, Alice wouldn't be able to stop me on her own.

La pulled into the parking lot carefully, watching the road with added apprehension from the ice that was still thick in places despite the liberal salting. I filed this away in the back of my brain with all the other little things I had noticed about her, like the way she set her shoulders when she was uncomfortable and the inherent kindness in her treatment of other people; she was also very practical.

Once she pulled into her spot, I settled in to wait. She hadn't seen me yet, and I wondered idly what would happen when she did. Considering she tended to face me head on when most would have avoided me in fear, I wondered how long it would take for her to march up to me and demand answers herself. It was a shame I would be leaving before she ever got the chance to do that.

At long last, she pulled herself out of the little car and made her way around to the hatch at the back. She pulled it open, slung her bag over her shoulder, then slammed it shut.

As the latch clicked home, next to me, Alice gasped. I turned to see Alice cover her mouth in horror, and Edward behind her begin to dart forward to catch me. Behind him a van was sliding back and forth on the ice, out of control. Tired squealed as it came barreling down towards La.

"No," Alice groaned. At that moment, La looked up, locked eyes with me, then stared past me at the van spinning toward her.

I launched myself across the lot toward her, entirely unconcerned with who saw me. I didn't care anymore. _Not this girl_, not this center of my universe. _Anyone_ but her. My arms circled her waist and tucked her into my chest as we continued to fly out of the way of the oncoming vehicle. I landed on my back with La on top of me. Her head hit my chin with a resounded whack. The sound turned my body to ice. Had the force of that collision injured her head?

There was no time to check on her. The van continued its arc around the truck we'd taken shelter behind, coming straight for La.

"Fuck," I sputtered, and dropped her to catch the van just before it crushed her, pushing it back and away. The momentum continued, forcing the van to swing back the other direction, again coming straight for where La lay prone on the frozen ground.

Was she a fucking magnet?

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I muttered. I was doing too much. She could see all of this. I was risking not just my life, but the lives of our entire family.

This could mean exposure.

If any group of people found out about what the family was, it would rain hell down on this entire region, and there would be no saving La, then. There would be no saving any of us.

I caught the van anyway, holding it up and finally stopping its momentum. I looked down to see that if I released the car it would drop directly onto La's legs. She hadn't moved. It was like some cosmic force had decided that La would definitely be crushed by this van and there was simply nothing I could do about it.

"Son of a bitch," I gripped her with one hand and pulled her into my side, holding her tightly to me. Her body moved limply, as though she was unconscious. Had the impact of her head against my chin knocked her out?

Once her legs were safely out of the way I released the van to drop back onto the concrete. We were stuck in the middle of a triangle that was formed between three cars with no way for me to get us out without further exposing the family.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. If she had seen even a fraction of what I'd just done it would be bad enough, if any of the _witnesses_ had seen anything we were whole-heartedly screwed. The worst part was that these questions, which should have been the first of my concerns, were smothered in the panic I felt for the girl in my arms. She still hadn't moved.

After all of the indecision over the last few days, all of the drama with deciding to leave, the girl in question was now so close to me I could feel the heat of her body through our clothes. I could taste the scent of her even though I hadn't taken a breath.

After all of the indecision, there was still the biggest risk yet of my thirst winning out.

The screaming of witnesses erupted from all directions. I shifted the girl in my arms so I could see into her face. She was wide-eyed and alert.

_Oh shit._

"La?" I asked. Did she have a concussion? Was this just shock? "Delilah! Are you okay? Talk to me, please." Her limpness combined with slack look on her face was terribly worrying. I looked into each of her eyes, her pupils were dilated, but she was breathing evenly.

"I'm…" it was almost a whisper. She cleared her throat a little and tried again. "I'm okay… I think…"

Her breath ghosted across my face. She smelled of coconuts and coffee. I realized I'd taken a tiny breath to speak, but it took a second for the fire to lance through my throat. I dropped her immediately and scuttled backward into a corner. She frowned at the ground, staring at it incomprehensibly and moved to stand.

My hand shot out and grabbed her firmly. She felt delicate and light as bird in my grip. How easy it would be to break her.

"Don't, you could be injured," I said gravely.

"It's cold!" She whined. She actually whined, voice wheedling out a little higher than normal, and struggled to stand again. I couldn't help it, I laughed. This girl very nearly got crushed by a runaway van and she was worried about the cold?

"I think you hit your head pretty hard when we fell, you really should stay still," I told her and smirked at the returning glare.

"Ow," she said and touched her head where it had been knocked around. I cringed inwardly. It was my fault she was hurt, but her reaction to her own injury was pretty funny.

Her expression switched in a flashing second, as though she'd only just remembered something. "How did you get to me so fast?"

She noticed. Damn. "What are you talking about?" I asked innocently. "I was standing right next to you." The power of her gaze bored into me. It felt like she could read into the very bottom of my soul, but I held her gaze steadily, silently willing her to believe the lie.

It didn't work.

"You weren't. I saw you by your car with your siblings. You weren't anywhere near me," she cocked her head and continued to watch me like she was reading every line and flinch in my face. There was no way I could lie to her further, she would catch me out immediately anyway, and if I was honest, I didn't really want to lie to her at all.

"Like I said, you hit your head really hard. You probably have a concussion." _Stop asking, please stop asking, PLEASE stop asking._

"I don't have a concussion, Emmett," she argued. "Tell me what's going on."

"Give this up, will you?" _Please give this up for Christ's sake. _If there weren't so many people around I would beg. Actually, if there weren't any people around I would probably just tell her. I would give her anything she asked, which was exactly the type of thought I wasn't supposed to be having.

"No." Her jaw was set stubbornly, her eyes narrowed as she continued to glare at me. I returned the stare silently as she settled back down onto the pavement. She crossed her legs underneath her, and her arms over her chest. Neither of us broke eye contact as if we were in an epic battle of the wills. Normally I wouldn't have had any doubt who would win, but La might actually have a run at taking my title of most stubborn individual in the universe.

Emergency evac arrived and started to work on excavating us from between the cars. They were currently pulling the driver of the van out, who had smashed his face into the steering wheel and passed out. He was bleeding profusely, I could smell it, but the scent was so overwhelmed by La's that I barely noticed.

Within minutes the van started to shift, emergency nearly had us free. It was now or never.

"Please," I begged. For whatever reason, I suddenly felt the driving need for her to trust me, to know that I wasn't trying to be a dick, that I was trying to save her. "Just trust me."

"You'll tell me later?" Her expression was still distrustful and skeptical. As well it should be, I wouldn't be able to tell her anything, no matter what I promised right now.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I could hear my own petulance in the answer, but she seemed to accept it, at least for now.

The swarms of people surrounding the accident were all surprised to see me there, but seemed to accept that they simply hadn't seen me. Even if La mentioned her version of events, it was likely to be dismissed as the story of a traumatized person, someone that had hit their head, and only luckily survived to tell any stories at all. It would be easy to discredit her.

The thought made me feel sick.

La deserved better, but if that was the type of response we needed to avoid exposure, I would take what we could get.

The first EMT to squeeze through the gap they had made in between the wrecked cars was the first real stroke of luck we'd had all morning. He was a close colleague of Carlisle's, it would be easy to push his attention onto La.

"Hey, Emmett!" Brett Warner peered into my face, checking my eyes, and nodded in a professional manner. "You okay, bud?"

"Yep," I lifted my hands to show nothing was broken. "Nothing touched me, but I'm a little worried La might have a concussion. She whacked her head pretty hard when we fell."

Cold fury shone across her face. I shrugged. She needed to get checked out, she really had hit her head very hard. They checked her eyes, noticed the dilation, moved to check her pulse, then started in on the normal questions. Eventually they talked her into getting on a stretcher and took her away toward the ambulance.

Not once did she offer any information about the accident. Instead she let me take the lead in telling the story, watching me with cold eyes. When asked, she agreed with my version and went back to staring at me in anger. I couldn't tell if she was angry about the lying or the stretcher, either way, I would hopefully make this up to her in the end.

After some calm reassurance to the other EMT's that I was perfectly fine, I was able to climb into the passenger seat next to Brett and ride to the hospital. On the way, Brett assured me that they were only bringing her in to be absolutely sure she didn't have a concussion. Her response times were good, and she was able to answer all of their questions, so they weren't especially worried. This calmed a wordless anxiety that had been building in me since I'd felt her head hit my chin.

La was probably okay.

When we got to the hospital I jumped out and headed straight for Carlisle's office. Luck was with me for the second time, as not only was he in there, he was alone.

"Carlisle," I said hesitantly from the doorway. He looked up at me, alarmed as soon as he saw my stricken face. I came in and closed the door. By the time I'd turned back around he had circled the desk to stand before me, and gripped my arm.

"Emmett, you didn't-"

"No, no," I assured him.

"Of course not." The look of relief on his features would have been comical if it wasn't so sad. I'd come really close, and he hadn't been sure staying was a good idea. "I'm so sorry I entertained the thought. I should have known from your eyes…."

"But I did fuck up," I added. He snapped his head around at me. "She's hurt… probably not seriously, but-"

"What happened?" His hand squeezed my arm tightly.

"A car accident," I explained what happened in detail, every second of it so he would be prepared when he went in to see her. "She saw everything, Carlisle! I'm so sorry I put us all in danger."

He released me and leaned back on the desk. "No, son. You did the right thing. I know that couldn't have been easy."

"She's too smart for me, pops," I said. "She knows there's something not right about me, and will probably connect it with the rest of the family. This could be really bad."

"Well," he braced his hands on the desk on either side of his hips and crossed his legs out long. "If we have to leave, we leave. We were already considering it anyway, right? What has she said?"

"Nothing, yet."

"Yet?"

"Right, well I had to get her to agree to go along with my version of events in the moment, so I sort of promised an explanation."

"Ah," he frowned in thought.

"When I tackled her, she hit her head pretty hard on my face. She seems fine, Brett wasn't too worried, but if we need an excuse, or way to discredit her…." _Ew. _Even the thought of using that to undermine the girl felt disgusting. I didn't want to do anything else that might cause her pain unduly.

"Hopefully it won't come to that," he said gravely. My disgust must have been visible. "We'll just have to see what happens. For now, it seems I have a patient to check on."

"Yes, please. I'm really worried I hurt her."

"Are you now?" He laughed. "Today _has_ been interesting, hasn't it?"

I harrumphed at his good humor. Somewhere along the way, I went from being this girl's greatest danger to saving her life. The irony was not lost on me, I just didn't find it as funny as Carlisle… yet.

He left me alone in his office. I circled it, pacing back and forth around the chairs, weaving between them and Carlisle's desk, while I listened hard for his footsteps to return. When they didn't, my pacing became more erratic, until I was all but bouncing in place and looking for things to keep my attention.

A manila folder on Carlisle's desk caught my eye. It had "Davis, Delilah" written into the name window in a neat hand that didn't belong to Carlisle. Apparently he had been doing a little research of his own, and hadn't been worried who knew about it.

Inside was a basic medical profile chart. The girl's name and address were listed at the top, which I quickly memorized. I told myself I might need to know the address if the girl needed a ride home later. Absolute bullshit.

The rest of the medical chart was completely empty. No pre-existing conditions, no surgeries or accidents, not even a doctor's appointment. According to this file, Delilah Davis didn't medically exist.

Curiosity finally drove me out of his office and down the hall, back toward ER. As I approached the room La was meant to be in, a nurse entered ahead of me and wheeled her out on a hospital bed. I stepped back around the corner as she came into view but still caught a glimpse of her looking frustrated and grumpy as they rolled down the hall. She was sitting straight up on the bed, legs crossed beneath her, arms crossed over her chest, frowning at everyone they passed. When the nurse spoke to her she responded kindly enough, but she certainly was not happy about the attention.

Once they were far enough ahead I followed discreetly. They entered a room several turns later, where I found Carlisle set up to read her x ray pictures. We waited quietly during the process until at long last Carlisle had the shots, and was able to put them up on the backlit screen.

One glance told me what I needed to know immediately. She was fine. No apparent damage from our collision, nothing to indicate problems later. A second look told a completely different story. I stared at the x ray images, trying to puzzle out what could have happened. When nothing came immediately to mind I looked at Carlisle for confirmation.

"What the hell?" I whispered.

"Yes, she seems to have several contusions, doesn't she?" his eyes continued to flick over the image seeing, and assessing far more than my limited understanding allowed.

"What does that mean?" I asked him.

"Well," he murmured. "I don't know. The placement of each injury is a little scattered, but doesn't seem regular enough to have been another car accident. This looks a little too random. They're more likely singular directed collisions with the cranium."

"You mean someone hit her," I clarified. My skin tingled with a very cold chill.

He lifted his hands. "We can't assume that. It could have been a great number of things. What I can say is that not a single one of them is newer than the last year at the very least. Whatever happened hasn't recurred in quite some time."

This didn't align with the medical file I'd just seen. If she had been hospitalized for an accident, or anything else that might have caused that number of contusions on her brain, it would have been in that file on Carlisle's desk. It _should_ have been in that file.

The girl in question had been rolled away while Carlisle and I spoke. I waited as she was pushed around the corner to her room and out of sight before I followed warily.

At the door I could hear the girl's voice murmuring quietly with the driver of the van, Tyler. He sounded morose and apologetic, while La sounded flippant, and bored.

I peeked around the corner to get a glance at the two of them. Clearly, the hospital had decided Tyler was the larger priority. He was busted up pretty badly. A gash ran along his brow, dripping blood down his temple, which he dapped at discontedly with a balled up tissue. His face, where visible, was covered in minor cuts and bruises. One of his arms was in a sling, and there was a large bandage on one of his thighs. This must have been why they'd taken so long to get La xrayed. Their attention had been focused on Tyler.

La was trying not to look directly at Tyler as they spoke. Was this her way of resisting telling him what happened? I couldn't be sure, so I backed out of the door, and stood down the hall where I could still hear their conversation.

Tyler was positively consumed with guilt over the accident. He kept apologizing, and begging forgiveness over nearly killing her. Every time, the girl would deflect, and assure him the apology was unnecessary. She was becoming pretty annoyed with the repetition.

During one tense moment, Tyler asked how she'd been able to get out of the way so quickly. I held my breath waiting for her to respond. After a very short pause, she mentioned casually that I had pulled her out of the way. Her tone was even, not even a hitch in her breath. Aside from the brief pause at the beginning, her lie had been seamless.

I found myself giving her an impressed nod she would never see. The realization I would never be able to share anything with her drove a feeling of intense longing and loss through me. I needed to see her. My hand was on the door to their room before another word could be said out loud.

Tyler was still watching her earnestly as I entered the room. La's eyes found mine immediately. Her posture somehow spoke of aggravation and boredom at once, while her expression, strangely, was one of relief.

"And why exactly do you not need medical attention?" Her eyes narrowed to slits as I approached. Her dramatic skepticism nearly made me laugh out loud, but I had a part to play, so I settled for a smirk. Her heart did a short series of alarming irregular beats that made my stomach do a weird sort of flop. I turned to Tyler for a distraction.

It was incredible how easy it was to ignore the blood seeping from his various wounds. I supposed, for the second time that day, it was his proximity to someone that smelled so much better than he did.

"How are you doing?" I asked him. "You alright?"

Tyler vomited up the apologies he had been directing at his emergency roommate followed by a long intense description of what exactly had happened inside the car. The kid was an absolute mess, totally eaten through with guilt. If I didn't intervene he might actually cry.

"Hey," I interrupted his speech before the tears could begin to overcome him. I patted his knee in support, and could feel the condescension in the action. "It's alright, man. No blood, no foul, right?"

_Heh heh heh!_

Amid my laughter I caught La's eye. She was not impressed, in fact, as I watched, her expression rapidly melted from frustration to outright anger.

"I'm so mad you put me in here," she fumed. "I don't have a concussion, I'm fine, and I want to check on my car! Poor thing probably got demolished."

Carlisle's foot steps were approaching in the hall. I could understand her impatience; I wouldn't have fared any better were I in her position.

"Your car is fine," I assured her. "I saw it as we were leaving."

Carlisle was right outside the door now. I was out of time. This would be the last time I ever saw her, and I would never be able to satiate my curiosity about her.

Why did she come to Forks? Why doesn't she have any medical history? What happened to her head? Where did she come from?

"You can't be mad," I added. "I came to spring you!"

Carlisle heard his cue and walked into the room. La's eyes widened dramatically as he approached. No surprises there. She'd noticed the "familial" resemblance. I wondered how long it would have taken her to put all the pieces together had I chosen to stay. Probably not long, considering how much she'd already seen.

"Delilah Davis?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"Uh… yes?" She swallowed hard and stared up at him. I could almost see the gears shifting in her head.

Carlisle introduced himself and put her xrays up on a screen that had been placed in the room for this purpose. As I watched, La's face tightened into curiosity as my father spoke. I couldn't be sure, but I would bet she wasn't hearing a word he said, too busy fitting things together to listen properly.

"Sorry, what?" she confirmed my suspicion. I chuckled quietly behind her. Edward's talent might be nice in a situation like this, but if I was honest I was enjoying puzzling her out without the cheat Edward had.

Carlisle re-checked her dilation and her pulse, probably worried they had missed something judging by her reaction time.

"Emmett said you hit your head pretty hard…" he was saying.

"I did but I've had worse," this comment caught my attention. I jerked around to catch Carlisle's eyes. _Ask her! Ask her what happened!_ Either my father didn't notice, or was pretending not to notice my eyes boring into him, because he didn't ask. He seemed to accept her decision and helped her off the hospital bed.

He didn't even give her more than a concerned look when she stumbled. I frowned at him. He gave me a minute shrug as if to say, "it's none of our business," and moved over to Tyler.

When I turned back to La she was glaring at me. I took a step back from the glower, then remember that I was supposed to be playing innocent.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

This time Carlisle caught the look I threw at him, but again he was no help.

"Thanks so much," I whispered under my breath so low the humans wouldn't be able to hear it. The corners of Carlisle's mouth barely turned upward at my sarcasm before he directed his attention on Tyler.

I led La out of the room and down the hall to the nook I'd been using to hide in earlier. Steeling myself I turned to her severely, hoping if I appeared impatient she would give up before I had to lie to her. I watched as the fire went out of her eyes, and almost felt disappointed, even though it was what I wanted. She took a step back and regarded me quietly. Her eyes roamed my face, taking in every detail, until slowly the fire in them rekindled.

This girl was incredible. She was standing uncomfortably close. The heat of her body radiated all over me. It drew me in, venom flooding my mouth. The monster inside me was thrilled by the obvious result of our proximity.

"What," I forced out and swallowed the venom.

"You said you would tell me what happened," she said, and put her hands on her hips. Clearly, she would not be deterred. I was in way over my head. This woman would win any sparring of words, see through any lie. I had no chance.

"Nothing happened. You hit your head." _Right_, yeah, she would fall for that. I wanted to smack myself in the forehead.

"No, I saw you standing with your siblings. You were too far off to be able to get me out of the way. What is going on?" Her breath ghosted over my face for the second time in a single day. Coffee and coconuts. If I wasn't careful the venom would dribble out of my mouth.

"Let it go," I shook my head, and crossed my arms, feeling like I needed an added barrier between us. She didn't back down. "Why do you care, anyway?" I inquired.

"I don't know?" Her voice rose with anger. "Because I don't like mysteries? Because I don't like lying without a good reason? Because when something incredible happens I need to find a way to make it credible? Take your fucking pick, it comes down to the same thing."

I wanted to crow with laughter, but I forced my face to stay angry. It was going to be really hard to get her to back off, especially since I didn't really want her to. I wanted to tell her everything, and let her decide if she even cared to know me. I wanted the chance to prove to her I was worth knowing. I wanted to scoop her into a hug and praise her perseverance and strength.

Of course that was impossible. She could, and probably would, end up dead for the pleasure of knowing me, and she deserved better than that.

"Incredible? What do you think you saw?" This was the most important question. I needed to know exactly what she saw so we could formulate the best plan to head this off if things grew dicey down the road.

She proceeded to describe in great detail _exactly_ what had happened. She didn't miss a single thing. Jesus fucking Christ, we were screwed.

"You think I lifted a van?" I tried to keep from sounding as impressed as I was. Another piece of her character clinked into place; she was indomitable. Pragmatic, discerning, and courageous to the point of madness.

"Yes," she offered, then more gently, "I saw you. You saved my life today…."

It was time for me to breathe. With my arms still crossed in front of my chest, I dug my fingers into my elbows to brace myself and sucked a small mouthful in, keeping my nostrils locked shut like a swimmer underwater. A wave of her scent nearly knocked me over anyway. I took a step back before I was able to control myself. The involuntary motion made me irrationally angry. The force of her scent was ridiculous, why did it affect me so? Frustration made my rebuttal surlier than I intended.

"If you're so certain I saved your life can you just thank me and move on?" It wasn't what I wanted to say at all, but I couldn't admit the things I wanted to. The Cullen family's safety had to be paramount. It had to come before everything; my thirst, my curiosity, La's unhappiness.

"Thank you," she said. A crease formed between her brows, right above her nose. She was being honest. She was genuinely thankful for my intervention. "Really."

I didn't know what to say to that. I stared at her as she stared at me, neither of us wanting to be the one to break the silence, yet both wanting the other to continue. There was a tension rocketing between us. Her silent pleas for further explanation were nearly audible in their intensity. The words she wanted to hear were building up in my mouth, gaining momentum. If I stayed here with her, in this little nook, in the hospital of this backwoods, boring little town, I would give in and tell her everything.

"You really aren't going to give this up are you?" I heard myself asking.

This was not supposed to happen. In fact, this was supposed to be easy. Humans didn't, as a rule, ask questions, demand answers, or allow themselves to get involved with vampires in any way at all. Clearly, as the last few interactions with this particular human had suggested, La didn't operate that way. At least one part of Jasper's theory made sense. If she was this powerful as a measly human, what would she be as a vamp?

"No," she crossed her arms and mirrored my stance, leaning a shoulder against the wall. One foot kicked out and crossed the other ankle. La was settling in to fight this out.

"Well, no one will believe you, anyway." _Ugh_. Gaslighting. This was so ugly. I immediately hated myself for doing it.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone."

_Wait, what?_ I peered into her face, searching for signs of dissembling and dishonesty, but there was nothing. Again, she was being one hundred percent honest with me, and here I was repaying the offer of her trust with gaslighting.

Instead of allowing my shame to continue in her presence, I turned on my heel and stomped off like a petulant child. It was probably my imagination, but I would swear I could feel her eyes on me until I turned the corner and fled toward Carlisle's office.


	4. Chapter 4: Resolutions

**CHAPTER FOUR.**

* * *

**RESOLUTIONS**

Edward was waiting for me right outside the sliding glass doors at the front of the hospital. He was sitting on a bench, watching the roiling clouds, gently tapping a single finger on the metal arm with the exact repetition of a metronome.

"What are you doing here, brother?" I stalked past him and headed toward the parking lot. I got halfway across the emergency lane when I realized our two other siblings were likely still at school. "Where's the Volkswagen?"

"I didn't bring it," he said and caught up with me easily. I switched directions to head toward the road instead. There was easy access to the woods only a few blocks down. We could run to the house from there.

"How angry are they?" I asked. Edward didn't immediately answer and offered no other observations. His silence assured me that I was in for quite the battle once we arrived at the house. Where he stood on the matter wasn't clear so I let him keep his own counsel.

We crossed the street and walked just a little too swiftly toward the next intersection. Once we were through it, we turned right and proceeded down the block. A row of low, windowless storage buildings at the end gave us enough cover to flit into the woods unseen. Edward remained silent for the first part of the run, pacing me easily.

"Jasper is on the warpath," He finally broke the silence when we were about halfway home. "You're going to need a very good explanation for what happened."

There were plenty of good explanations, of course. For instance, say I hadn't interfered and the van had successfully crushed the girl – the thought made me sick, but I pushed through for argument's sake. If the van had hit her, she would have been a bloody, mangled mess on the pavement. I could imagine her fluids soaking into the pavement, the scent of her blood filling the air….

I wouldn't have been able to resist for even a second. A single drop of that girl's blood would have given our entire family up for what we are in a truly gruesome way. Imagine if there was enough blood flowing for Jasper to get involved? He had the least self-control of all of us.

It was a good argument that I wouldn't use. The point of it was moot because I didn't think of it until later, and Edward was already well aware of the fact. Honesty was always better, anyway. I hated lying, nearly as much as I hated hurting Esme. Unfortunately, no matter what I did Esme would be hurt in this situation. I wondered briefly who she'd side with and simply hoped she wouldn't have to side with anyone.

Edward had been listening in to my thoughts this whole time, naturally. Normally he was good about being discreet. He wouldn't comment unless the thoughts were intended for him. Since it wasn't something he could help, we did our best to normalize it. In turn he did his best to keep our business to himself.

These thoughts of who would side with whom were enough to elicit a response, though.

"I'm not sure how the table will fall," he said. "But Jasper is concerned for Alice's safety. He's resolved to do what he must."

_Resolved?_ _What is he resolved about… _It hit me at once. I slid to a halt. "WHAT?"

"Hey!" Edward shouted back. Rage consumed me as I pieced together the resolution Edward had implied. I had to find Jasper before he could get to the girl. He'd stayed at school, hopefully he had sense to stay there until classes were over before he began the hunt, otherwise people could piece together his absence with her disappearance.

I took off back towards Forks, intent on reaching the girl's house and watching to make sure no one else could approach. If I got there first, I could head him off before he got close. Lucky I had been able to get her address from Carlisle's files.

"Hold on!" Edward caught up with me and gripped my arm tightly. "You need to calm down! We don't know anything definitively, because we haven't had our family meeting yet, right? We can discuss this at the table."

I slowed to a stop and tried to calm myself down, but the rage kept boiling up.

"Brother," Edward said reassuringly. "Breathe."

Instead I turned to a large imbedded rock next to me, ripped it from the ground and threw it hard at a small copse of trees several yards away. Two of the standing trees cracked on impact and fell over sideways.

"Jasper won't do anything until we all talk. You know this. He's too smart to make any rash decisions."

I took a deep breath and punched a tree behind Edward's left shoulder. It fell over with a cacophonous crash, but I felt calmer.

"What's gotten into you?" Edward asked in disbelief, looking around at the wreckage.

_You should know,_ I thought pointedly.

He lifted his hands in a motion of uncertainty. "That doesn't mean I understand it."

I took a moment to consider his confusion. He would likely back Jasper if our family meeting wasn't able to diffuse the situation.

If the necessity arose, I could hold my own against one or the other of them in a fight, even with Edward's cheat, but not both at once. Jasper had spent so many years fighting in the southern wars that he was one of the most skilled combatants I knew. He was so skilled, in fact, that he could often out maneuver my strength. Edward was harder because he could see an opponent's every move before they made it. To beat Edward in a fight one had to be quick and unpredictable.

God, and now I was strategizing about how to beat my own family if it came to a fight. Was I really already there? Was I willing to fight my brothers over a human I barely knew?

La had felt so tiny and fragile in my arms. My terror when she'd hit her head against my chin was an excellent example of how easily she could die from the slightest thing. That juxtaposition against my family of supernaturally strong predators was simply unfair.

I would absolutely fight for her. Even against my own family.

Edward's expression darkened as I came to this conclusion. It pained me to lose him, but I couldn't leave this girl undefended when I was the one that had put her in danger to begin with.

"You're a mess, Emmett," Edward spat. "We better get back."

As we ran back towards the Cullen home I continued to break down the possibilities. Edward and Jasper were clearly on one side of the table, and as I had already considered- I couldn't win a fight against the two of them together.

Would I be alone in this? Probably not.

Carlisle wouldn't fight anyone but he would undoubtedly be against Jasper's violent ideas. His caution and logic may be enough to keep this rift from turning ugly, but we'd have to see how resolved Jasper really was.

Esme would want to argue for whichever outcome would keep her family together. Her first priority would not consider the fallout, but whether her children would be safe. This infighting would be hard for her, so she would side with eliminating the problem simply because it would keep me close and our family whole. Where Carlisle was the great moral leader, Esme was the heart and soul. Carlisle's values gave us convictions we could follow willingly. Esme gave us the reason to stay- by teaching us to love.

Even under all this plotting and vengeful anger, I knew that I loved them. Even Jasper who had incited all this fury. His actions were done out of love as well, because when it came to Alice's safety he took zero chances.

This brought me to the last member of our coven. Alice was difficult. Her love and dedication went as deep as Esme's, but it presented differently since her foresight granted her the ability to know how each decision would affect us. Her choice would probably depend largely on which side had the best outcome for the family in the long run.

All of this fell through my mind as we approached the house from the east. I could hear a set of steps running parallel to us on the left that sounded light enough to belong to Alice. Jasper didn't seem to be with her, which was a blessing. I didn't think I would have been able to control my anger in sight of him just yet.

"Jasper is already at the table with Esme," Edward confirmed for me. "Carlisle is on his way."

When we were about ten miles out I slowed my run to a more sedate pace to let Alice catch up. Edward bolted onward. As he disappeared into the trees ahead Alice slipped through a space between two trees and took up the place he'd vacated.

"Wait," she said and came to a stop. I followed suit and watched her warily. She was rubbing her face again, like she had a headache. She'd been doing a lot of that lately, but vampires didn't get pains the way humans did.

"What's up, munchkin?"

"The images are shifting so quickly it's getting harder to keep track of what may actually happen," she looked up at me seriously. "We can't fight. That can't happen, Emmett. I won't let it."

"Edward said Jasper was pretty sure of his course," I insisted.

"He is, but we may be able to convince him otherwise." Her little fingers returned to the pressure points in her eye sockets.

"How?"

"Carlisle has some ideas," she said, and started walking toward the house. "I'm trying to keep track of them as he reasons them out, but Jasper's plans- and yours- keep changing so I'm having trouble finding the right path."

"Carlisle already knows what's going on?"

"Of course he does," she sighed and pulled a leaf off a fern tree nearby. She shredded it into confetti and tossed the pieces into the air in front of her. "Jasper called him, but he already had some concerns about it. He knows us all too well."

"Will he make it home in time?"

"Yes, he's pulling into the garage in about a minute and a half."

"We'd better get this over with, then."

"Emmett," she tugged my arm. "There are other options. We don't have to fight, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, but I didn't believe her.

"Just promise to give this mediation a chance?"

She was sent out to stall me. That's why she waited until Edward took off to join me on the run. It was probably for the best, but I wasn't happy about being manipulated.

"Yeah, kid. I promise."

There was no reason to dally. Alice and I walked through the bright open living room directly into the dining room without hesitation. This room was only called a "dining room" for practicality's sake. We didn't actually eat- or rather drink anything in here. Still, it contained a large oval shaped mahogany table with matching chairs, and a dry bar along one wall. It was important that we had all the logical props in place, even if the likelihood of a human ever seeing them was minimal.

Since it wasn't used for dining, Carlisle liked to use it for conferences and family meetings instead. We probably would have done better with a round table today, but I'd work with what was available.

Carlisle was seated in his usual place at the head of the table. Esme was seated to his right. They held hands on the table top; a united front. Esme watched me enter and choose the seat next to her. As I sat she gripped my shoulder reassuringly, but her lips were pressed together in concern.

Carlisle's face gave no indication of his thoughts. He was too practiced at dissembling to give anything away, but I was sure he had multiple plans in place for every possibility.

Jasper was seated at the other end of the table, arms crossed, face a calm veneer. Edward sat beside him looking frustrated and ill at ease. Alice followed me in, but didn't sit down. She leaned against the wall, eyes closed, rubbing her temples. Jasper watched her, but didn't ask her to sit.

My gaze flicked back and forth between the faces of my family members, not sure where to start.

Carlisle spoke up to give us direction. "Why don't we get all the facts out, first? Emmett, what happened in the parking lot?"

I described the accident in detail, leaving nothing out. Hearing myself say it made it sound even more reckless than it felt.

"I'm sorry," I finished. "I wasn't thinking and I put you all at risk. It was thoughtless and dangerous. I'll do whatever I can smooth everything out."

"Smooth it out?" Jasper retorted. "I think we're beyond smoothing_._ We need to _fix_ this."

"Not like that," I said harshly. "I'm willing to leave if it will make things better." _But not before I know that girl is safe,_ I added to myself.

"No," Esme said immediately. "No, Emmett."

I reached up to squeeze the hand that was still resting on my shoulder. "It's only a couple years."

"Leaving wouldn't help, anyway," Edward interjected. "You can't go anywhere, now. That would be the _opposite_ of helpful. We have to make sure you're normalized before you disappear, otherwise it would be obvious we're trying to hide something."

"He's right, Emmett." Carlisle scratched his chin in thought. "The girl is more likely to ask questions if you disappear."

And if she tried to talk, Jasper would make sure it was impossible for her to.

"She won't," I said quickly. I needed to make this point very clear. "She won't say anything."

"We don't know that for sure," Carlisle disagreed.

"Edward, come on, man," I plead. "You're the one that noticed she didn't say anything after I took off on her last week."

"Yes, but that was a much smaller offense," he said. "You've already admitted that she saw everything this time. She _knows_ that we're different now rather than _suspects_."

"Alice," I tried a different tack, hoping her foresight would be able to back me up.

"I can't see what will happen if we ignore this," she looked pointedly at Jasper.

"We can't risk the chance of the girl talking," Jasper said calmly. "Even if we all leave, it's not safe for us to leave these types of stories behind us. If Italy catches wind of it they'll be all too happy to investigate, and if they do- there is no where on earth we can hide."

He looked directly at me now. "And then she would be dead anyway."

A snarl threatened to leap out of my throat but I forced it down. "We've left stories behind us before."

"Rumors and suspicions are _not_ eyewitnesses," Edward rebutted with false tranquility.

"It wouldn't be a big production," Jasper continued. "The girl hit her head, maybe her injury was more serious than it looked. I will make it look natural, leave no evidence behind me."

"Yes," the snarl finally escaped me. "We are all very aware of how skilled you are at murder, Jasper."

He turned cold eyes on me, but remained silent.

"Emmett," Carlisle said calmly before I could come up with another outburst. "Calm yourself. I understand your concerns, Jasper, but I do not believe our friends in Italy would make the trek out here for one human. We are talking about ending the life of an innocent girl. This is not the same situation you faced in the south."

"It's not personal," Jasper said. "It's to protect all of us. Like I said, if Italy _does_ decide one human is enough to investigate, this whole region will burn. Thousands of innocents could die."

There was a brief silence as Carlisle deliberated. We all watched as his eyes moved back and forth as though he was reading a book, going over all the facts, weighing the details. Eventually he nodded. Jasper's eyes lit up. I jumped back from the table in a cold fury before I noticed Edward. He was shaking his head minutely. I should have known better.

"I know you mean well, Jasper, but…" he gazed around the table at his collected family. "I would like very much for this to be a family _worth _protecting. The occasional accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of what we are, but to plan the murder of a blameless bystander in cold blood is another thing altogether.

"I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we find reasons to make exceptions in order to protect ourselves, we negate the reason we chose this lifestyle. We risk losing the essence of who we are."

It was well stated. I would have cheered if the mood allowed, but I sufficed with a grin and sat back into my seat beside Esme.

"We would be expected to clean up our mistakes if we lived near any others of our kind," Jasper argued reasonably.

"We don't live near any others of our kind," Carlisle reminded him. "Every life is precious."

Edward sighed. "So what next? Do we move on as soon as timing allows?"

"We just got settled," Esme lamented. "I love this house."

"We don't have to decide now," Carlisle assured her. "Emmett seems very sure of the Davis girl's silence. If she remains so we can stay."

The two of them continued their discussion of the possibilities. I watched Jasper closely. He was silent, but unmoved. In his posture I could see his readiness to proceed with his plans.

The worst part was that I could understand it. The warzone he had come from had called the attention of Italy and suffered the consequences of indiscretion on more than one occasion. If he thought for a second Alice might be involved in a visit from the Italian vampire governing body, the Volturi, he would do anything necessary to avoid it.

"Jasper," I said.

He met my gaze, expressionless.

"She won't pay for my mistake," I told him quietly. "I won't allow that."

"She benefits from it, then?" He asked archly. "She should have died today, Emmett. I would only seek to set that right."

I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. "I will not allow it."

He tilted his head and his mouth dropped open as though a reply stuck at the tip of his tongue. He hadn't been expecting this, hadn't imagined that I would act to stop him.

He shook his head once, coming to a decision. "I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Emmett, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through. You don't understand."

"I'm not arguing that, Jasper. I'm just telling you now, I won't let you to hurt Delilah Davis."

We stared at each other, not glaring exactly, but measuring the opposition. I could see him sampling the mood around me, testing my determination.

"Jazz," Alice interrupted us.

He didn't break eye contact as he responded to his mate. "Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. That isn't the point-"

"That's not what I was going to say," Alice trilled. "I was going to ask a favor."

Edward barked out a laugh and smacked the table. "I suppose we should have seen that coming," he snickered.

"What?" I looked back and forth between Alice and Edward. Jasper was just as bemused.

"I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill La. First of all, Emmett is serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, she's my friend. At least, she's _going_ to be."

"What." I said again.

"But… Alice…" Jasper gasped, words halting with misgiving. His hands had dropped from the protective cross over his chest, and he'd pushed back from his seat to stand halfway out of it.

My only consolation was that he was clearly as confused as I was. Before I could ask another question, probably "what," again, Alice went on.

"I'm going to love her someday, Jazz. I'll be very put out with you if you don't let her be."

"…I…" I began to speak, but Alice's tense expression finally broke into one of happy confidence.

"Ah," she sighed. "See? La isn't going to say anything. There's nothing to worry about."

The way she said the Davis girl's name. As though they were already close confidants…

"Alice," I tried again. "What does this…" I didn't know what I really wanted to ask, so I let the end drift off.

"I told you there was a change coming... I don't know, Emmett." She clenched her jaw and looked at Jasper.

"Wait!" Edward interjected. "What was that?"

"Nothing, Edward!" She glared at him.

"There's more?" I demanded. "What is it? Is it about her? Is it about La?"

"Holy shit," Edward stated. The room went silent. Edward never cursed, he found it ungentlemanly. In fact, most of the family left that sort of thing in my department.

"What is it, son?" Carlisle asked.

"Don't," Alice mumbled.

"They should know," Edward said quietly. Alice didn't argue so Edward turned back to me. "She saw La transitioning."

"WHAT?!" I jumped to my feet again, so swiftly this time my chair flew backwards and fell to the floor with a resounding whack.

"It's solidifying," Alice whispered. "Every minute you're more decided. There are only two outcomes left for her now. She'll either become one of us, or she'll die."

Esme gasped, hands covering her mouth. Jasper was looking rapidly between us, still emanating disbelief. Carlisle watched impassively.

"So, what you're telling me is she's dead either way," I sneered.

"I'm sorry, Emmett…"

"No," I muttered, and staggered into the table. My legs felt hollow, they wouldn't hold my weight. "No," I said again, voice even weaker. "I have to leave."

"Emmett," Edward said apologetically. "We've already been over that. If you leave, the girl will likely start talking. You have to stay and help us monitor this situation."

"I don't see you leaving, Emmett," Alice was still speaking in that apologetic voice. "I don't think you _can_ leave, anymore."

"If the other option is killing her I think I can figure it out," I spat.

"Think about it, then," she challenged. "Think about leaving."

I sank to the floor by Alice's feet. I could see what she meant. The thought of never seeing that messy mop of hair again, hearing that ridiculous snorting noise she made… it was an uncomfortable thought.

Alice and I ceased to remember the other people in the room. We were so wrapped up in our own conversation we couldn't see past each other's faces.

She crouched before me and put her hands on my shoulders. "We can't be entirely sure Jasper will continue to agree to not harm her if you leave," she whispered.

"I'm not hearing this." I knew Jasper would never do anything to hurt Alice. It wasn't possible for him to. "Why are you doing this to me?" My head fell into my hands.

I could _not_ be protector to La Davis. It didn't make any sense for me to be.

"I love her, too," she sank from her crouch to her knees and pulled me into a hug. "Or I will. It's not the same, but I'd really like to have her around for the chance."

"Love her, _too?_" I stared at Alice incredulously.

"Oh, Emmett," she squeezed me tighter, hugging my head to her chest. "You are so blind. Can't you see where you're headed? Where you already are? It's more inevitable than the sun rising."

"No," I would deny it until the bitter end. "I'll leave. I can change the future. For her, I can."

"You can try," Alice said.

"I don't want this for her," I moaned. "It's not fair."

"Why not?" she asked. "You don't know what she wants, and you never will if you leave."

Edward cleared his throat. "She has a point, Emmett."

"Shut the fuck up, Edward."

"Love her? Do you mean the human?" Esme asked in a stunned voice. "The girl he saved today? He's fallen in love with her?"

"So it would seem," Carlisle said mildly.

"Alice, dear?" Esme called softly down to us. "What are you seeing exactly?"

Alice continued to hug my head as she spoke. "It all depends on whether he is strong enough or not. Either he'll kill her himself," she pushed me away just enough to meet my gaze seriously. "Which would really irritate me, Emmett, not to mention what it would do to you," she wrapped a thin arm around my neck and sank the fingers on her other hand into my hair, rubbing comfortingly at my scalp. To Esme she said, "or she'll be one of us someday."

Someone gasped again; I guessed it was Esme.

"That's not going to happen!" I shouted and pushed Alice away. "Either one!"

Alice ignored me and continued to speak over my head to Esme. "It all depends," she repeated. "It will take an amazing amount of control," she mused. "More even than Carlisle has. He may be _just_ strong enough, but it will be close. The only thing he's not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That's a lost cause."

That last declaration sucked the wind from my sails. I didn't have any more words. No one else in the room seemed to either. We all sat absolutely still in complete silence.

After several moments in the quiet Carlisle spoke, breaking the spell. "Well, this… complicates things."

"Understatement of the year, Pops," I said, and slumped backwards until I lay prone on the floor.

"I suppose the plans remain the same, though," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "We'll stay, and watch. Obviously, no one will...hurt the girl."

I stiffened waiting for Jasper's response.

"No," Jasper said quietly. "I can agree to that. If Alice sees only two outcomes..."

"No!" I groaned, and rolled over on the floor, covering my head with my hands. I was behaving like a child, but I was feeling so lost. I had no idea what to do. I needed to get out of there. I popped up and looked around at the faces at the table. All of them were watching me.

Carlisle looked concerned, Alice- a bit smug, Edward was amused, Jasper wary… but worst of all was Esme's _joy._ How she could feel any amount of happiness right now was beyond me. I understood a mother always wants to see their children find happiness in love, but love with a human could only bring tragedy for our kind. There was nothing to be happy about in this situation.

In an instant I spun on my heel and fled. I started running as soon as I'd cleared the dining room doorway and banged out the front door into the meadow surrounding the house. I ran in a straight line toward Seattle, dashing over the mountains, crashing through streams, and tearing trees out by their roots as I went.

Rain poured down in sheets so thick I would have been breathing water had I been breathing at all. It drenched through my clothes, water arching off my dripping fists as they swung in time with my stride. I finally stopped when I could see the lights of Seattle on the other side of the sound.

I found a small outcropping clear of trees that offered a view of the city in the distance, but no cover from the rain. My seat on the exposed ledge left me surrounded by the falling sheets of water. I felt shut in and claustrophobic. There was no way to escape the mess I'd made of the future.

Alice had said there were two options. The first was that somehow La would become a vampire. I tried to imagine what that would look like; her graham cracker skin lustrous with the transition, eyes neon red from the human blood still coursing through her veins. She would be glorious, I was sure of it.

The problem was that there was really only one reason she could become a vampire, and that was if I turned her into one myself. If there was ever a moment where I was in the near vicinity of her naked blood, I would undoubtedly kill her. Alice's vision had to be wrong. Transition was impossible because I would never be able to resist her blood. I didn't want to take that chance, even she wanted me to.

All this aside, who was I to decide how she lived or died? I didn't want to force her into such an impossible choice either. Risk a painful death to be with a guy she just met for eternity?

There had to be another option. Some other way of ensuring her survival.

If I could be strong enough to choose a different path, we all might get out of this without unnecessary pain. Would I be able to do it?

I would have to, when the only other option meant death.


	5. Chapter 5: Choices

**CHAPTER FIVE.**

* * *

**CHOICES**

Monotony became meaningless. I no longer remembered a time when day to day life among humans seemed monotonous. Every hour was so swamped with torment that even the idea of monotony had become impossible.

It would have been easier to quit, but I slogged on, committing to every act perfectly. I behaved like the perfect gentleman to everyone I associated with, kept my temper in check, and shirked none of my responsibilities.

Since leaving Forks was no longer an option, I returned to my public routine, hunted no more than absolutely necessary, wrestled with Jasper, pulverized boulders, and attended every single one of my classes.

Edward informed us that the girl never mentioned a word about my abilities. When asked about the accident, she repeated the same story over and over again until even the most rabid of her fans eventually got bored and stopped asking for details. In time it was obvious her story wouldn't change, even to us. We grew more comfortable.

To be clear, my siblings grew more comfortable as the weeks passed. I continued to exist in mute frustration. Edward would occasionally pat my back in support, or grip my elbow in a show of brotherly love, but mostly I endured my self made torture alone.

He once asked me why I continued to fight through this. Now that it seemed confirmed she would speak to no one I was free to leave. There was no easy answer to give him- at least none that I could vocalize. I'd considered going through with my initial plan of putting oceans between us on many occasions over the coming weeks, but now that I was getting used to the rhythm of our silent dance, it was becoming harder to consider leaving.

Mostly, I just didn't want to hurt her and since I inexplicably couldn't leave, the only sure way of keeping her alive was to pretend she didn't exist.

At first it worried me just a little that my attempt to keep from causing her pain would defeat itself. No one appreciates being ignored, but the whole point was that by doing this I would save her even more pain in the long run. I didn't know what I would do if she objected to my mute treatment. Hopefully I would be strong enough to persevere even if she protested. The best outcome would be if she decided she didn't want to know a supernatural monster anyways, and forgot about me entirely.

At the time, I was sure the first day would be the hardest, and that with time I would be able to grow accustomed to her presence. At the end of the first day I had been completely sure it would be the hardest, but I was wrong.

The first couple of days back to school were, in fact, easiest. I was able to slip into the back of the class after it started. She never even saw me, though I watched her every movement through the hour. During the breaks on Monday and Tuesday the whole family ditched lunch under the pavilion eliminating the need to pretend to be normal.

Lab would be harder as we shared a desk.

When the time came on Wednesday afternoon I was already seated when she entered. Edward thought it might be easier to keep from acknowledging her if I was already there, and I followed his advice. I'd listened to her approach along the back of the class, listened to her sigh as she bent to put her bag away and pulled out the stool.

"Good morning, Emmett," she'd said. Her voice had been friendly and welcoming, almost as if she'd already forgiven my poor behavior at the hospital. Could she possibly have forgiven a broken promise so easily?

The question burned in my throat nearly as hotly as my desire for her blood. Just barely, I stuck to the plan by gaving her slight nod without looking at her, and turned back toward the front of the room. I could almost feel her rage behind me, but she didn't say anything else that day. Or ever again.

As soon as we got back from school that afternoon I gave Jasper about half a second's warning before tackling him. We fought viciously, breaking boulders over each other's heads and sometimes bodily throwing each other into cliff faces. There was a catharsis in the violence of our fight- an unspoken "I love you, and I forgive you."

We repeated the match the next day, and the next until they became accepted as a daily habit. Occasionally Edward would take Jasper's place, but they both seemed to know that fighting was the only thing that made me feel better.

The possibility of loving her didn't occur to me again. I was too occupied by forcing myself to not notice her. The effort took all of my concentration; any left over capacity was taken by coping with the pain caused by my denial.

More than a month had passed and it got harder every single day. The ever building urgency to be near her threw a giant wrench in my plans. Familiarity was supposed to make this easier- what is that old adage? Time heals all wounds. Apparently time also allows wounds to fester, because I was coming to the limit of my abilities. This must have been why Alice was so skeptical. She must have seen this slow degradation of my strength.

Thirsting for this girl was now the least of my worries. It was the only torment that _did_ seem to get better with familiarity. Every interaction would make me start from scratch, fire would lance down my throat and burn up my chest, but generally by the end of the class I could breathe just a little easier.

Ignoring La Davis wasn't easy by itself, but what I didn't expect were the other little tortures ignoring her would cause. The first of these was my curiosity. I was constantly aware of her movements and her moods. When something changed or shifted my first instinct would be to ask her why. Of course, this would defeat the whole purpose of ignoring her, but not being able to ask irked me more with every missed opportunity.

When she was with her human friends I listened in, trying to glean whatever information about her I could. I thought it might be a good way to assuage the need I felt to ask her myself, but it just raised more questions. She would frequently drop into the monotone I'd heard on her first day, or answer questions with generic answers that were clearly already expected. Occasionally I would catch her asking a question to which she obviously had no interest in the answer, and I wanted to know _why_ she did that.

The girl was an enigma. It was like she was playing a role she had no real interest in, but what reason could any human have for role playing in their real life like that? The fact that I couldn't simply ask her made my frustration build rapidly.

The torment that surprised me the most was my fury toward the little blonde boy that hung around her like a fungus that couldn't be removed. I never in a million years thought I would ever find a human so infuriating, but I considered tripping him and watching him fall on more than one occasion.

The only benefit to his obsession was that it fed my own. He constantly asked her questions, or engaged her in conversation in some other way. He never asked the right things, or followed up in the correct way, but his constant barrage still offered up little tidbits that she would sometimes slip up and drop.

Through him I discovered she had a dry sense of humor, but enjoyed the occasional pun. She genuinely cared about others, nearly to her own detriment. She was loving, and genuine and kind, and a whole lot less patient than she appeared.

The blonde never noticed any of these little slips, though. Didn't hear her when she spoke so glowingly about her niece and nephew, or described in detail the book she was reading. He had built up this imaginary picture of a girl that didn't exist. It was obvious in the way he interrupted her, and listened only long enough to tell his next story. He watched her constantly, but he didn't actually see her.

She deserved someone that saw her completely.

I would have told her that, but she couldn't exist for me.

The worst torment was that she seemed perfectly comfortable pretending I didn't exist either. It would have driven me mad if I wasn't perfectly aware that she still sometimes watched me the way she did before the accident. Alice would give us little warnings before she looked our way. This happened often enough that for whatever reason, it helped soothe the ache.

"La's going to stare at Emmett in a minute," Alice whispered to us during one Wednesday lunch break at the end of February. "Look normal!"

We shifted and fidgeted for the duration of her lingering look. I didn't know what it meant, but I was glad for it.

"I wish…" Alice gave a dramatic whoofing exhale.

"Don't even think about it, munchkin," I said sternly. "It's not happening."

She pouted just as dramatically as her sigh had been. She was anxious to form the friendship she had foreseen. It seemed like she _missed_ the girl, even though she didn't even know her yet.

"I'll admit, you've done better than I thought you would," she frowned. "You've got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope you're happy."

"I don't know how to answer that, except my decision makes plenty of sense to me."

She snorted. It made me miss the sound La made when she was surprised or annoyed. The blonde kid was too generic to win it from her.

I was a little more tense than normal today. Though I tried to hide it my siblings were all very aware of this fact, each with their special gifts. Long familiarity gave them the wisdom to refrain from pointing it out, and I was too embarrassed to admit the reason without a prompt.

The truth was, I was beginning to think I might be becoming jealous of a _human_.

The day before I'd overheard La's blonde-fungus-friend telling one of his little buddies about a new club that had opened in town. They were making plans to go dancing together as a group. Everyone was coupling up, the Fungus had stated. He then proceeded to describe in exacting detail how and when he would ask La to go with him, and continued by expressing his certainty that she would agree.

This was it. This was the awful Thing I'd been unconsciously waiting for. Some other unworthy person to make their move on her. The rage crashed through me in waves. It would take no effort at all to casually walk up behind him and snap his stupid little neck too quickly for anyone else to see.

_Reign it in man,_ I talked myself down. I'd made my decision. I wasn't allowed to then whinge and whine about it. This did not help the irrational emotions that swept me. I couldn't control that, of course. So I mulled, and watched them move around the school.

As far as I knew the blonde hadn't worked up the courage to ask her by break, regardless of the boy's exacting plans from the day before. It seemed La knew something was up, as she was moving more carefully around him. She made sure to enter the pavilion with Jessica, and placed several people between herself and the boy before taking her own seat.

Their conversation was uninspired to the point of mind numbing. La only joined in when nudged or asked a direct question. The idea of such a bland little shit taking her _anywhere_ made me feel like I would break out in hives. Something I hadn't had since around 1922, long before my transition. If my shady human memories served, I'd tripped and fallen into a thorn bush and had gotten tangled in the branches. I'd only gotten free with the strategic use of a pocket knife, and spent the rest of the week scratching at my skin feverishly.

When La's phone reminder went off she tried to duck away before The Blonde Fungus could catch up. Unfortunately, she was carrying a large heavy box that slowed her down. I fought the urge to take it from her and felt another irrational rage when he caught up with her and took it in my place.

I couldn't watch this. I fought a second urge to knock him over as I passed, and headed straight for class. They followed me in an interminable amount of time later. The boy settling the box down on the floor beside her desk, and taking up residence leaned against her side of our table. This had become a weekly habit.

I imagined knocking him on the top of the head with enough force to make his whole body sink into the ground like a pile driver.

"So, hey, La," the idiot faltered. He was waiting for her to ask. What a coward.

"Hey, Mike," she said back.

_Oh right,_ his name was Mike. I endeavored to immediately forget that piece of information.

"Jessica asked me to go with her to the club thing next Saturday…" Fungus let the sentence trail off, obviously trying to lead La into the reaction he desired.

_UGH! _Twice the coward!

"That's great, Mike! You're going to have a whole lot of fun with her!" Her voice was bright and cheery. I would have laughed at the look of destitution on the kid's face, but I wasn't supposed to be noticing this little drama at all.

"No, I told her I would have to think about it."

_Of course you did,_ I thought savagely. There was nothing likeable about this boy.

"You did what?" La punctuated each word. Her voice dripped with disappointment. _Oh_, she was good. "Why did you do that?"

She clearly wanted very little to do with this stupid person. The knowledge caused happiness to swell inside my cold dead chest cavity until I thought I would burst. I'd known she was too smart to fall for someone like that, but I couldn't help the irrational worry he would somehow end up being her choice.

"Well, I was sort of wondering if maybe _you _wanted to go with me?" the boy wheedled.

This was it. The answer once and for all. She hesitated for only a fraction of a second.

In that millisecond I saw her future spread out more clearly than any vision Alice might have. I saw her choose some measly human, saw her go to grad school, choose a career, buy a house. I saw her adopt pets with whichever human she ended up finally saying _yes_ to.

In that fraction of a second I saw her beautiful dusky brown tones flushed with happiness as she walked down an aisle dressed in white. Walking toward a forever with someone that wasn't me. The happiness that had filled me fizzled into an aching melancholy. Could I withstand that? An existence of watching this girl _live_ with anyone else?

That was the point, though- the crux of this whole issue. The conundrum I'd been grappling with for weeks. If I stayed away she would have the chance to live, breathe, grow. There was no guarantee that would happen if I gave in and broke our long silence.

_It's possible,_ Tanya had said. _To love a human._

The point I had been avoiding: Alice's vision. According to Alice becoming involved with La would mean one of two things; she would die, or she would become undead.

If I was strong enough to keep from killing her outright, she might at least _exist. _If this option was something I could forgive myself for, then shouldn't I at least offer the option? In time, once she understood the truth and the gravity of the options, it could be her choice to transition.

What was left of my resolve crumbled and swept away.

"You should tell Jessica 'yes,' Mike," she said.

The boy's eyes swept toward me aggressively. I had to remind myself that I shouldn't laugh at him. "Are you bringing someone else?"

La stiffened at his question. He hadn't even tried to disguise his possessiveness, his jealousy. In that moment I wouldn't have put it past her to pile drive the little shit into the ground herself.

"No, I'm not going at all. I've planned a trip to Seattle to get some stuff for the house." Her words were laced with her displeasure, but Fungus was far too oblivious to pick up on it.

"You can't go some other weekend?" _What a whiner._

Since I already got the answer I was looking for I stopped listening. Instead, I allowed myself to turn toward her and look at her properly for the first time in over a month. It felt like a pressure valve being released in my brain. I didn't realize how hard I'd been working to keep from looking at her until I suddenly stopped trying.

I watched her navigate what was left of the thorny conversation she was stuck in. She spoke deftly and left no doubt about the silly boy's chances.

Now that I was free to look, I soaked her entire appearance in. I'd noticed before that she preferred dresses to most things, but was generally forced to wear them with thick woolen leggings underneath due to the weather. Today she'd risked regular stockings, paired with a light blue dress dotted with bumblebees and vines.

The color suited her well.

When the bothersome blonde slouched away La flopped onto her stool, and drew her knees up to prop her feet on the top wrung. She exhaled with a force that blew her lips out and rubbed at her eyebrows. Her shoulders bent in and around herself as though she was protecting her vital organs from a blow. I wanted very much to know why.

I waited patiently for her to look up. It had been so long since we made eye contact. When she did eventually turn her attention my way she caught my stare and held it. Just as I thought she might. She looked wary and confused, but also defiant.

I breathed in just a little, tasting her scent on the air. It scorched through me, but I'd gotten better about controlling my reactions. It had been two weeks since I last hunted. I knew she must be looking into pitch black irises, but she didn't flinch. Silly, brave, incredible woman.

"Can I help you?" It was clear she was pushing more anger into her words than she felt. At least, I _thought_ so. She didn't look angry, just flustered. Maybe she really didn't care one way or another if I ever spoke to her again.

The TA called the class to attention and lab started. Several times through the hour I thought about halting my experiment to talk to her, but still wasn't sure if it was the best idea. After all this time, to break down now was admitting defeat and accepting Alice's vision.

_There's no use in worrying about it now_, I decided. _We'll have to just see what happens._

Next to me, La was prematurely cleaning her station, dropping things with more force than necessary, and slamming notebooks closed. She wiped everything down with ethanol and stared at the cover of her lab book for a long time before finally opening it, and pulling out a calculator.

"La," her name popped out of my mouth. I was as surprised to hear it as she was. Her heart sped to twice its normal beat for a few seconds before settling back into a regular rhythm. She met my gaze slowly.

"What, Emmett? Are you talking to me again?"

"Nope," I offered and nearly laughed. Her expression dropped so dramatically into a flat line she looked like a comic book character.

"Then what can I do for you?" It was the voice- the one she used when she was only doing what was expected of her. The meaning clicked into place; she used it when she was hiding something- be it extraneous emotions, or history.

"Nothing, I just wanted to apologize for being so rude to you," I said cheerfully.

"Oh? And why's that?" The _all of a sudden_ was implied.

"I don't know…" I said honestly. I hadn't realized I was going to speak at all, let alone come up with something to say… But I had to come up with something now. Honesty is the best policy, right? "I think I've given up."

"Given up on what?" she asked.

_Ensuring your survival, not falling in love with you…_ Probably shouldn't start with either of those things. "I'm not sure yet, but I don't want to think about it too much."

"I don't know what that means." She said flatly. When I didn't offer an explanation she shook her head. "You know what? I don't care. I'm not playing games with you. Either you're going to treat me like a person, or I'm going to go on pretending you don't exist."

_Uhh… That is also an option. _Alice never mentioned it was one, but La not wanting anything to do with me could absolutely change things. "That's definitely an option I hadn't considered."

She didn't trust me, and why should she? I'd treated her abominably. She should pack her bag, walk away, and never talk to me again. It would make the most sense, but I wanted to be worthy of her trust. I wanted to earn it properly and eventually be able to share everything with her.

Before I could gather my wits and respond more appropriately she'd grabbed her bag and was stomping toward the door. About half way down the back of the room her shoulder strap snapped with a loud crack. The bag swung off her shoulder in a spectacular arc, and dumped all over the floor.

For an instant she didn't move. Body rigid, fists clenched by her sides, face pointed toward the ceiling. I imagined she would be screaming right then if she wasn't in a room full of people.

It very easily could have been the wrong thing to do, but I laughed anyway. Great booming belly laughs straight from the gut. She looked so frustrated! It was such a simple thing, and yet the funniest thing in the world in that moment.

I was bent over laughing when I heard a tinkling laugh join my own. La had turned toward me and for whatever reason, instead of getting more frustrated, started laughing as well. Tears leaked from the corner of one of her eyes as she gripped her stomach in mirth.

_How ridiculous! _Once I had control of myself I went to her and picked the books up from the floor. Another student had found her pencil case under their desk and handed it over. I stuffed everything into her bag and carried it out of the classroom for her.

"Thank you," she said and wiped at the tears on her cheek.

"You're welcome," I responded. "Can I help you to your car with this?"

"No, thanks. I can carry it," she took the bag from me and tucked it under an arm. "I have another class anyway. See you next week."

She wiggled her fingers in a gesture of goodbye and slipped down the hall to the stairwell.

"Yeah…" _Next week is not soon enough._

Alice and Jasper were already seated in our usual seats in the Latin classroom when I arrived.

They were both watching me with interest as I sat down, but Jasper spoke as soon as I was settled.

"You look…" He cocked his head and considered. "Better?"

"Did I look like shit before, or something?"

"Yes."

_Cool, cool. _He was probably even being polite about it.

"Well," Alice piped up from Jasper's other side. "It's nice to see you take a break from glowering at everyone. I think you really scared some people. Giants are bad enough, you know. Angry giants are just intolerable."

"Thank you, Alice."

"You're welcome!" She trilled. "Do I get to talk to La, now?"

"I don't know why you would?"

"Well, if _you_ get to-"

"I haven't decided anything yet," I interrupted her.

"Of course you have," she huffed.

"Have I?" I asked harshly. "Then what's the point of getting to know her if I'm just going to kill her?"

"There's still a chance she might survive the murder," Alice shot back. Jasper coughed to disguise a laugh.

I glared at him until he straightened his face.

"No," I told Alice.

"Not fair!"

"Hasn't anyone ever told-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever." She stuck her tongue out at me and remained silent for the rest of the class. The car ride home was equally silent. Edward either had no thoughts on the recent change of events, or didn't care to share them. Considering I was in no mood to discuss it I was glad for the silence.

When the car was parked in the garage I leapt out, and headed for the woods surrounding the house.

"Wrestle later?" Jasper called as I breached the first row of trees.

"Nah," I called back. "I'm going hunting. See you in the morning."

"We're going hunting Friday," he said.

"I know," I said, and left my siblings behind.

The others were going on a trip that would range further out into the mountains where there was more big game and a higher density of predators. Now that I'd broken the seal and spoken to the girl I knew I wouldn't be able to stop it. It was no longer safe for me to be thirsty at all. Until we saw an end to this catastrophe of a chance meeting, I would need to over hunt as much as possible.

There wasn't much hunting available so close in to the Cullen home, but I was able to find a herd of elk, and by some miracle- a recently woken black bear. This allowed me the removal of some frustration as the irritable bear put up quite a fight. At the end of this feast, though, I was woefully uncomfortable. The blood sloshed in my stomach as I ran back toward Forks.

It wasn't until I was standing outside La's house that I realized this had been my plan all along. The morning wasn't soon enough, I needed to see her now. I reasoned with myself that I only wanted to see that she was okay, that our earlier conversation hadn't left her with any lingering uneasiness. I told myself that this was a reasonable thing to do, as we had to be sure the family was safe.

All of these excuses were extremely thin, even to me. It was clear I was stalking her for my own inexcusable desires just so that I could be near her.

When I arrived at the little cottage it was well after midnight. The house was entirely dark save for a dim light in the upstairs hallway, and one in the kitchen downstairs. Her Fiat was parked neatly in the curving drive out front. All the outside lights were off.

I considered the house. The front door was most likely locked, but there probably weren't any locks on the upstairs windows. In an older house like this locks would have to be installed, and few would bother doing so for the second story.

There was a well situated window at the back of the house that was covered with shadow from surrounding trees. None of the light from the streetlamps made it this far back, and there was a handy eave I could hang from to peer in.

Scaling the house was even easier than it looked. In seconds I was hanging from the eave I had chosen staring into a quaint lofted bedroom filled with comfortable furniture arranged over a dense woven rug.

By the luck of whatever deity might hold the undead in their hand- I had chosen the window into La's bedroom. She was asleep in a squashy four poster bed with the covers tucked up to her chin. As I watched she kicked the duvet off and flounced onto her stomach, tucking her arms into her chest underneath her body.

A few twitches later she kicked the sheet off as well, and curled into a fetal position on her side. She was sleeping… violently. I listened closely to the sound of her deep even breathing for a few minutes, as she continued to toss and turn.

After another few seconds I had to acknowledge how weird it was for me to be watching her sleep like this. This was the kind of thing perverts did… or serial killers.

While I could accept the serial killer thing, as technically…. I could not accept the pervert thing. I needed to nip this while- well, I wasn't exactly ahead, but at least nip it before it got _really_ weird.

Just as I was about to let go of the eave over her window, she flipped angrily to her other side and said, "Go away."

I froze thinking she'd somehow seen me in the darkness outside her window. I listened hard, but there was nothing save for the faint sounds of air rushing through her lungs.

La talked in her sleep.

Suddenly all thoughts of weirdness and perversion left my head and I was carefully pushing her window open. It squeaked minutely from long disuse and I cringed with every sound. At one particularly loud groan she kicked her sheets back up over her shoulders and huddled beneath them. I thought I was caught, but a moment later she mumbled something about "shitty mice," and her deep breathing continued.

I caught the window ledge and climbed silently through the opening I had made.

Her room was rather large, with a slightly vaulted ceiling. A table next to her bed held a short stack of books, her phone, and an antique analogue clock. The rug was solid beneath my feet, and extended to reach within a foot of all the walls in the room. The wall at the foot of the bed contained a doorway to a bathroom, and to the left of the bed was an antique fainting chair that looked nearly as squashy as the bed did.

There were very few personal effects in the space. Nothing on the walls at all, most of the shelves were empty, and her closet was fairly sparse. Several pairs of shoes-mostly boots, littered the floor of the closet, but there weren't any other mementos in there, either.

The lack of anything personal in her room made me want to explore the rest of her house, but that seemed like it would be taking this whole venture just a touch too far- as though stalking her in the first place wasn't enough.

I resisted the urge and sat on the chaise to wait.

She didn't speak, but a soft snore trickled out of her nose. She was wearing an old band t-shirt and boxers that had been loved enough they were beginning to roll up at the hems.

La was a stunning woman. When I first saw her I'd found her attractive enough, but now- with her curls tangling into knots above her head, mouth partly open in sleep- I found her absolutely breathtaking.

Or I would have had I been breathing, but that seemed a little risky considering the circumstances.

As I watched her breathe I thought about what my presence in her home realistically meant. It meant I had absolutely given up entirely. Was I ready to handle the events this would trigger? Was there any way to exist if everything went terribly wrong?

Whatever else happened I knew that hurting her was no longer an option. Whatever else I did, I needed to make sure it was for the best for her future. I had to do _right_ by her.

What did I know about doing _right_ by a human?

Frustration sent me tumbling in the opposite direction again. This was pointless. I was a predator, she was prey, and I needed to get the fuck out of here before my brain broke. I was going to leave and not come back until this bothersome female had left. That was the end of it. No more flip flopping, no more lamenting, or pining.

I was not behaving like myself, and I missed the calm assurance that came with being Emmett. When a problem arose, I handled it- end of story.

If La didn't end up being the death of me this back and forth would. I pushed myself out of the chaise, and began to walk purposefully to the window.

"Emmett," her voice sighed. It was so soft it could have been the wind.

_Oh no,_ I froze at the foot of her bed. La's eyes were still unopened. I stared at her, trying to decipher if she'd momentarily woken up and seen me in her sleep befuddled brain.

She mumbled incoherently and kicked her sheets off again. Her hands were clenched into fists above her head, but her eyes remained closed. She was definitely still asleep and dreaming.

"Emmett…" She murmured again. My feet carried me back over to the chaise and I sank into it.

She was dreaming of me.

"Stay," she whispered. "Don't go… please…"

La Davis was dreaming of me, and she wanted me to stay. Wherever she was, whatever we were doing there, she wanted me to stay.

Emotions swamped me. It felt like I had been standing under a gigantic wave that knocked me down, and sucked me under. There was a barrage of new feelings- none of which I understood; it was impossible to keep track of them all. I was drowning.

When I resurfaced from the deluge, I was not the same person. I couldn't begin to understand what this meant, but I knew beyond a doubt, that I would do everything in my power to stay here with La, and keep her alive.

When I had become a vampire I'd been 25 years old. Old enough that my growing had been finished and my emotional maturity was mostly stable. The transition had all but frozen me- my flesh hard and barely malleable, my likes and dislikes halted, my moods and desires fixed.

All of us vampires the same. We were all frozen in a nearly unchanging state. For something to shift within us was momentous and permanent. The most frequent change among our kind was love. When we found it, it changed us in an eternal way that would never fade. Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Carmen and Eleazar- all of them gazed on each other with the incredulous eyes of first love, because for them it would always be their first love.

Now, it would be that way for me. La had changed me, and that was irrevocable for the rest of my existence.

I smiled. It was almost a relief to finally come to a conclusion, to have the change come over me, to know I hadn't gone insane- if you considered falling in love with a human sanity.

"Don't go," La whispered again.

"I won't," I whispered back. She seemed to settle after that, her sleep turned more peaceful, a slight smile settled onto her features.

So, I loved her then. Wow.

What did this mean? Nothing had changed really, not for _her_ anyway. Being near me still had to be her choice from start to finish- whatever that finish may be, and she may not choose me at all. The thought of her deciding I wasn't worthy of her was so pain inducing I had to steer my thoughts in another direction.

I _wanted_ her to choose me, and I would do my best to make sure that happened.

Rule number one: Don't be a dick.

I could do that. Probably.

What else? I stalled. I had no idea how to make one person fall in love with another. Giving her the chance to get to know me was probably a good start. Being honest might help. I was in murky waters here because I'd never cared enough about a lover to try before.

Rule number one: Don't be a dick.

Rule number two: Be honest.

Rule number three: Don't kill her for fuck's sake.

Intentionally, I took a deep breath in through my mouth and nose letting the fire brutalize my throat. If I was going to chase her properly, I was going to need to be immune to this scent.

La said my name again and I stopped thinking. I just watched her sleep and breathed her scent until the sun rose, marveling at the newness of my existence, and just hoping that I didn't fuck it up.

By the time I got home, my siblings had already left in the VW. I ran upstairs, changed and darted out the door as quickly as I could. Esme watched me rush about with worry plain on her features. To console her I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before I dashed out of the house. I'd have to explain everything to her later.

The run to school was quick and uneventful. I arrived mere seconds after my siblings did, but stayed hidden in the trees as they walked toward campus. I paced the same clearing I'd used the previous week until I heard La's Abarth rumble into the parking lot. Once she was on the correct row I snuck out of the tree cover to stand behind a large SUV.

Her eyes swept the parking lot, pausing thoughtfully on Edward's VW before she parked in her assigned place a few spaces down across the aisle.

I wondered if she'd fixed the strap that had snapped the day before or if she would need help carrying her books to class. A thrill ran through me as I realized I would be able to ask instead of just wonder.

She popped out of the Fiat and made her way to the hatch juggling a water bottle, a coffee mug, her phone, and her car key. She managed to swing the hatch open, but dropped the key and her phone as she did so. I moved silently up behind her and nabbed the key out of a deep puddle as she snatched her phone out of a shallower one.

I held the key out to her as she turned to face me, smile already beginning at the corners of her mouth.

"How do you _do_ that?" She asked by way of greeting.

Clearly, she didn't expect an answer, so I didn't offer one. Instead I took her bag off her shoulder and discreetly inspected the strap. It was basically glued together with little bits of string sticking out at odd angles where she had tried, and failed, to sew it.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Appear out of thin air, obviously."

"It's not my fault you are exceptionally unobservant, La."

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Are we on this again?" She made a sort of huffing noise that came out of her nose in a rush. I grinned at the sound.

"You're right," I allowed. "That's not fair." Especially considering she caught just about everything. It was impressive, really, how much she _saw_ that others missed. I remembered my vow to be myself and to be honest from the night before.

"The truth is I don't know," I finished. Did that sound as lame to her as it did to me?

"I see," she said with a vaguely flippant air. "Are you planning on giving me any other truths?"

We were at Northeast 3 now. I leaned against the wall next to the door and handed her bag back.

"No," I told her. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just wasn't really able to.

She did not like this answer. I remembered that I had promised her an explanation and then actively stomped on it. That was something I had to make up for, and in doing so, I wouldn't be making any more promises I couldn't keep.

"Hey wait!" I called as she turned on her heel to stalk off. She turned back to me and found that I'd moved just a touch closer. My head was bent down so I could peer more closely into her eyes. I wanted to read their every expression.

Her eyes seemed to drift out of focus for a second, and her heart was beating wildly. She seemed to lean in toward me just a little, lips parted.

"Will you join me for lunch today?" I wanted to touch her, smooth her hair behind her ear, or touch her cheek. She was so close I could see the blood pumping in her neck. Venom dripped into my mouth obtrusively. I swallowed it back as I waited for her to answer.

"…yeah…" she sort of mumbled out.

"Great!" I said before she could change her mind. "I'll see you later, then!"

I took off on her then, elated that she'd said yes. I would have done a jig, but it somehow didn't seem appropriate in a crowded walkway.

The extra time I had taken to wait on La then walk her to class had set me a bit behind schedule. I jogged up the steps of the electives building and banged through the doors that led from the stairwell to the hallway that contained my class.

Alice was waiting for me outside the door to her own classroom. She was taking some electives in clothing design, which seemed pretty silly to me. She could have taught that curriculum better than any professor, but I supposed it allowed her to work on projects while she had to be in school. She'd seen me coming of course, and was waiting to intercept me when I passed by.

"She'll be outside classroom 301 in northwest 2," Alice said without preamble. "Can I talk to her now?"

"No," I grinned at Alice's mutinous expression. "Just let me work this out organically, okay?"

"We are hardly organic creatures," Alice stated flatly.

"Don't speak so poorly of yourself, kid," I answered. "You can be anything you want to be."

I continued down the hall toward my classroom.

"Hey," Alice called. "Be careful, okay?"

"Are you more worried about her or me?"

"There isn't really a difference anymore."


	6. Chapter 6: Bear Season

**CHAPTER SIX.**

* * *

**BEAR SEASON**

After leaving La at the sliding glass doors I meandered away toward the west parking lot. I was positively euphoric. Lunch with La had been a huge resounding _yes._ My stomach made a giant lurch as I thought back to our parting moment.

There had been a brief pause in the rain that had been hammering down on us all day. The air was sticky and wet, and smelled of fresh, green growth. La had been adjusting the strap on her messenger bag. The heavy weight of it was propped up on a knee for support as she fought with the thing. A single tendril-like curl had fallen out of her sloppy bun and swung forward over her face. It twirled before her in the damp air, unnoticed.

For a fraction of an instant I had an internal battle; do I touch her? Do I risk it?

The thick enticing tendril drew me in. I wanted to see for myself if her hair carried the texture it seemed to, or if it would be light and silky as a summer's breeze. I imagined it running through my fingers in heavy folds as I pulled the band out from the bun on top of her head to let it cascade down around her shoulders.

My curiosity finally got the better of me. In a quick movement I caught the offending tendril and twirled it back into place. The strands of her hair were thick with fascinating texture that tangled and locked together. I had to pull my hand away forcefully to keep myself from picking up another piece. She'd frozen like a deer caught in headlights, then immediately hightailed it away from me.

I immediately worried that I'd offended her. There had definitely been no contact as I had been very careful to keep from touching her skin. Maybe the gesture was just a bit too forward. We'd only had one lunch in place of a date, but what did I know of dating humans? Not a damn thing. She could be horrified I'd nearly touched her, or confused that of all things I'd touched her _hair…_ Perhaps-

"You took her by surprise is all." Edward's clipped accent still carried cadences of the 19th century. Somehow his words weren't even remotely comforting.

_Where did you come from?_ I frowned at him but kept walking toward the parking lot. Since my class was cancelled I could easily run home rather than wait for the family to go home together, but there was a chance I'd be able to see La one more time before we left for our hunting trip if I stayed. Even if it was just a brief glimpse as she got into her car I would hate to miss the opportunity.

Edward paced easily beside me as we rounded a corner and headed away from campus. The rain picked up again, gently sinking into my hair, and soaking my shirt where my jacket was open.

"I was looking for you." He dug into his pocket and withdrew the fob to his GTI. "Alice requested I give this to you."

"Why?" I eyed him critically.

"I assume you'll be needing it this afternoon."

"Okay?" _Want to elaborate?_

In lieu of an answer, he turned on his heel and walked back the way we'd come. I tossed the fob in the air and caught it as I watched him stalk silently away. Something about this situation was making him exceptionally ornery. I thought we'd all come to terms with our disagreement after our family meeting, but his behavior told a different story.

I would need to speak with him about it. Hopefully I would be able to ferret out exactly what it was that drove a wedge between us. The whole family planned to go hunting for the weekend beginning Friday, but maybe I could get him away to hunt somewhere else, somewhere closer in where we would have the chance to speak candidly and I wouldn't have to be so far from La.

Goat Rocks could work. There would almost definitely be some mountain lion up that way to entice Edward, and maybe even one or two bears that would be grumpy from recently waking out of hibernation.

The thought of an imminent fight with a bear cheered me as I made my way down a slight hill of browning grass. This late in February the shoots were only just beginning to show signs of re-sprouting toward the evergreen forest that surrounded the school.

I headed for the tree line dwelling on my lunch with La. She had proven herself to be an absolute force of nature, not that I'd expected anything else. Her immediate declaration and assurance that she would figure out my family's secret both excited and terrified me.

_"Would you believe me if I told you it wasn't my secret to tell?"_ I had hoped this would put a stop to the line of questioning. Hoped she would see that the answers were too dangerous for her to know, but her interpretation of my warning had taken an entirely different turn.

_"I can guess?" _She had been so ready with this reply, it was almost as if she'd expected the warning.

_"I really wish you wouldn't." _For her to guess correctly would put us in far too much danger.

_"I don't think that's true,"_ was her immediate rebuttal.

_"What's not true?"_

_"That you don't want me to know. I think you do, so don't worry. I'm going to figure this out, and you won't have to spill someone else's secret."_

I could have broken and told her right then except, that would defeat the purpose of making sure each step of our courtship gave her a choice.

_Her choice._ I squeezed my eyes shut, and clenched my hands into fists. The rain was coming down harder now. I veered away from the trees and made my way to the parking lot where I folded myself into Edward's car. There was only about five inches of difference in our heights, but it still meant my knees were pushed up into the dashboard. It was an uncomfortable posture until I found the control at the bottom of the seat.

Today's lunch had been one single "yes," but that answer may quickly turn into a "no" once she puzzled the truth out. There was no doubt she would figure it out, even if today's theories had been a bit of a stretch.

"_It just feels like all this stuff is like superheroes made real, or fairy tales come to life!_" It brought me great comfort to know she thought only of the heroes from comic books, and none of the villains. It frightened me too. When she inevitably discovered I wasn't of the hero caste she could decide knowing me wasn't worth her time. That decision, after investing myself into her, would ruin me.

_"You only mentioned heroes. What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the villain?" _I couldn't help asking even though I was very distinctly not supposed to be giving her any hints. It took longer for her to answer than I was comfortable with. Thoughts flickered across her face in rapid succession.

The whole time I sat under her scrutiny as she weighed her words, I thought they might be the last thing I would hear from her. How could she possibly want to spend her time with someone that was so _wrong?_

_"I don't believe that, Emmett. How can I? You saved my life. Villains don't do that."_

The world spun around my head. Joy. Perfect, genuine joy filled me to bursting and for a moment, I really did feel like a hero.

I wanted so desperately to believe her, to believe that she could only see the good in me, but really- she didn't know what I was, didn't know what I was capable of. Until she did, there was no telling what she would believe or do.

Just as quickly as the joy had filled me, the bubble burst. My hands were clenched into fists on the table. La immediately looked concerned. She lifted a hand and reached out, almost as if she wanted to comfort me.

I didn't think I would be able to handle the shock and aversion she would surely feel when she discovered the icy coldness of my skin. Instead of allowing her to touch me, I pulled my hands away, and settled them out of her reach.

"_You're not the bad guy,"_ she'd repeated, and again, I almost believed her.

The difference was that she couldn't see the mountains of the dead in my reflection every time I looked in the mirror. She didn't know that even as I sat there feeling joy in her presence, there was an equal part of me that wanted nothing more than to feel her blood gush down my throat.

I wasn't a hero. To anyone.

As I sat alone in Edward's car the frustration mounted. I dug my phone out of my pocket looking for a distraction. I needed to think about anything else for a moment. Just as I chose a music file from my library I heard an odd shuffling, grunting noise coming from the direction of campus.

Once it got closer I was able to discern footsteps amid the shambling. The small grunts of struggling breath that accompanied the beleaguered steps made it sound exactly as if one person was dragging another along. I paused with my hand on the door handle, ready to get out, and peered through the windshield to see who was causing the commotion.

La's friend, the idiotic blonde - or, as I thought of him; the gigantic fungus - was holding the girl in question up with one arm looped around her waist and the other gripping the wrist of an arm that was flung over his shoulders.

I shot out of the car, and barely succeeded in limiting myself to a quick human paced walk in their direction. On closer inspection her usually richly colored skin was turned an ashy grey color. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were pressed very thin. The girl seemed nearly insensible. She could barely lift her feet as they plodded along.

It took every ounce of self-control I contained to not dart over and snatch her from the blonde's embrace. I made do with a very quick jog, calling her name all the while.

"Just leave me here to die," I heard her mumble to the boy as he set her down on the pavement. He actually followed her advice, the moron. Once safely on the ground she immediately flopped over onto her side and pressed her face into the wet concrete. Once comfortable she stopped moving altogether.

"Delilah!" I called again. A frantic pressure was building in my chest. When she didn't react to her name I turned to Fungus.

"What the hell happened?" I snarled quietly.

He took a startled step back but managed a surly, defensive answer.

"I don't know!" he frowned petulantly. "Our TA cut his hand and started bleeding. She freaked out and fainted."

"Because of the blood?" The pressure in my chest immediately released. Hemophobia. _Oh, the irony._

"I mean, yeah, I guess."

"La?" I knelt down beside her and called softly. "Can you hear me? Delilah?" I would have shaken her, but wasn't sure if she would benefit from my cold touch.

The girl moaned but didn't move.

"Delilah, honey, you're lying in a puddle," I told her. "La?"

"No," she answered. "Go away."

I chuckled. _Yeah, that's not happening._ "Fung- Mike, why don't you go collect La's things from the room? I'll stay here with her."

The kid opened his mouth as if to snap back with a snarky response, but I silenced him with a look. He kicked a rock on his way back into the building, clearly throwing a tantrum, the little shit.

Once he was gone I turned back to the girl on the ground at my feet, who was progressively getting wetter the longer she lay there. "Can you sit up?" I asked gently.

La didn't move. Didn't even bother trying. I would have to touch her. A thrill tingled through my veins. She was wearing a light blouse today. There would be no way to disguise how cold my skin was, but hopefully she was wet and cold enough already that she wouldn't notice.

I fit a hand under the shoulder that was pressed into the concrete, and made a sort of scooping motion to sit her up. She dragged her knees up and rested her head on them.

"Try putting your head between your knees," I suggested.

She immediately let her head sink down between her kneecaps and interlaced her fingers over the back of her neck. Her breathing slowly became steadier.

"You faint at the sight of blood?" I chuckled again. It was just _too_ good.

"S'not funny…" she forced through stiff lips. Her voice was very quiet. It wavered weakly.

"No, no," I agreed, but kept chuckling. "Of course not."

Fungus McGee's footsteps stomped toward us. "Is she okay?" He barked as soon as he was within human hearing range. I imagined flicking a nearby pebble at his kneecap just hard enough to hurt him without causing lasting damage.

"She's fine," I said shortly. "I'm going to take her home."

"I can do that…" Fungus sniveled. I gave him the same look I'd given him earlier, but added a cold smile that promised violence.

"Are you going to be okay La?" he switched tactics. If La didn't give consent, it would give him reason to protest. Momentarily, I was impressed. It was rather clever of him. In the end, though, it wouldn't have mattered, he was not strong willed enough to stand up to me.

La disentangled her fingers as though she meant to wave him off, but her arm only flopped onto the pavement beside her.

This was clearly what Alice foresaw and the reason Edward had given me his key.

In one motion I hooked an arm under her bent knees and the other behind her shoulders, then scooped her into my chest and stood up. She felt so soft and breakable in my grip. One wrong move and I could crush her.

Thirst raged in my throat. Having her so close made the monster inside me believe it was about to win. That I would finally be able to end my suffering. Logically, I knew ending one suffering would only create a more distinct suffering in every other way. This thought made me feel extremely protective of her, and it was easier to fight back the thirst. I cradled her more closely into my chest and took a deep breath through my mouth and nose, almost in defiance of my inner nature.

I would _not_ hurt this girl.

La's scent seemed to be stuck in the very fabric of the seats. It lingered in the air circulating through the heating vents. Even though it would alert everyone to her recent presence, I kept the windows up, hoping the consistent onslaught of her scent would eventually immunize me to this desperate thirst.

There was another fifteen minutes of class left when I arrived back at campus. I tried to use the time to think about what I would say to my siblings when they joined me. Instead I felt swamped with emotion and desires- some of them completely unrelated to my insatiable thirst.

There was another burning need, another self conscious desire.

Attraction.

It had been more years than I cared to admit since I bothered to wonder if my feelings for another might be mutual. I simply didn't care whether my feelings were returned or not until now. La had agreed to a lunch date, on the drive to her cottage she had even agreed to let me take her to Seattle in two weeks time. All of these were signs that pointed to reciprocation, but I couldn't help the doubt. Perhaps I should just ask her.

A sudden, distinct anxiety swept me at the idea of speaking about my feelings with her. I immediately squashed it in frustration and forced it to the back of was no point in wasting all this agony. I would ask her the next time I saw her.

Anyway, so _what_ if La was attracted to me in _that_ way. It wasn't as though I could do anything physical with her.

I imagined it anyway; how it would feel to wrap my arms around her soft waist, the warmth of her arms circling my neck. I imagined running my hands through her hair, imagined that it would feel like heavy raw silk as it slipped through my fingers. Further, I saw myself putting a finger beneath her chin to tilt her mouth towards mine, and imagined what it would feel like to breathe in the smell of her from so close and so willing; coffee and coconut, wood and spice.

I licked my lips and covered my face as I imagined what would happen next. Being so close to her. Even if only in my imagination it was clear how long I would last in a situation like that.

It was too dangerous. We would never be able to be intimate, or be close in that way. Not until she wasn't so _breakable._

It was all the more confusing because I couldn't ever remember feeling more _human_. With these new emotions, doubts, and desires I might as well be a teenager again. My memory of those years was foggy at best, but I knew I'd never felt this way as a human.

The other men that worked for the gangster that employed me would go off into town, meet at brothels, or otherwise spend their earned coin on women. I'd never been interested in that. Instead, I chose to spend my coin on drink and weapons since the bulk of my time was spent guarding the boss while he played cards or made deals.

I'd been reliable, because I wasn't smart enough to do anything else.

When I woke in Carlisle's study, we all quickly found vampirism suited me. I was exceptionally strong, even for a newborn, and eager to learn due to never having a mind capable of retaining information before.

I soaked in this new existence like a sponge, taking joy in my sight, my strength, my senses, and my sudden brilliance. Vampirism, was the greatest thing that could have happened to me.

My life would have been a waste without it.

It didn't occur to me that something might be missing. Even living with two perfect mated pairs, I knew that most never found their partner. Carlisle had a theory that our particular lifestyle better enabled us to connect with others of our kind, but even if that was true, I figured we had en eternity to find out. With time, I ceased to care, if I ever cared at all.

There were several lovers in my vampiric past. All of them were remembered fondly, but none of them created this maelstrom inside brought me directly back to square one. Somehow it felt wrong to doom her to an existence caught in twilight, even if she chose it. So many of us would never choose this for themselves.

This was most especially poignant for someone like La, that had a family she loved. People would miss her if she suddenly disappeared. Our conversation during the drive to her house had made that very clear.

My curiosity about all the little inconsistencies in her story burst out of me as we'd pulled away from the west parking lot. I asked her as many questions as I could think of in rapid succession hoping it would shed some light into the girl's past. Her answers only brought on more questions.

My first question came abruptly after a brief stall in conversation that seemed to leave La melancholy.

_"What's your mom like?"_ I asked.

La made her beautiful tinkling laughter and described a woman that sounded a whole lot like La herself. The description was brief, but full of emotion and transparent adoration. As soon as she finished speaking the shuttered expression she made when she didn't want to reveal anything too personal started to overtake her demeanor. I asked another question before it could shut her down entirely.

_"Why did you leave her?"_

_"I didn't."_ She cocked her head and frowned quizzically. Her own curiosity pulled her out of the shuttered, reticent place she tended to retreat into. _"She got remarried and moved to California about two years ago, right when I started college."_

This timeline didn't make sense against the things I had been able to dig up about her. For instance, her medical history only began with her move to Forks. Something must have happened between her mother's move to California, and La's move to here.

Suddenly it all clicked into place. Who was I really falling in love with? Delilah, or someone else entirely? Someone born on the other side of a cataclysmic event, like the meteor that took out the dinosaurs. Who was she before her world burned down? And what happened to that girl?

Further pushing on my part was rewarded with disinterested, uncomfortable answers. It was clear there was an abundant history she didn't want to talk about and I didn't want to risk pushing her away by prying.

Jasper would be able to get the whole story easily through some of his contacts, but it seemed like a betrayal of trust. I would prefer to earn the story from La, rather than discover any skeletons in her closet without her permission. How bad could it be, really?

When I pulled up to her cottage I decided to try one last time before settling in for the long haul and finding out in time, naturally.

_"What aren't you telling me?"_

Her sad smile spoke more clearly than the rest of our conversation combined. She wasn't lying, she wasn't hiding anything from me, she just wasn't interested in talking about it. That smile effectively closed the door on any further interrogation, and she quickly changed the subject.

The back passenger door opened causing me to jump against the seatbelt that I'd buckled over my chest in an effort to appear more human to La. I quickly released it and fought it back over my shoulder. It clung to me like a jellyfish, but I managed to get my arm untangled without breaking anything.

Jasper gave me an arch look and slid into the back seat on the passenger's side.

"Skip class?" he asked as Alice slid into the seat beside him.

"Sort of," I answered shortly. Embarrassment over my fight with the seatbelt kept me from divulging what actually happened.

"Any particular reason?"

"Oh, just… being a good Samaritan," I said and chuckled at myself. "Caring for the sick, you know, being the gentleman that I am."

Jasper tilted his head at me, as he cradled Alice into his side.

"Ooh!" Alice exclaimed. "La was in here?"

"This is getting weird," Jasper looked between his wife and the back of my head.

"You have no idea, man."

He inhaled again. "Mmm, she does have a rather singular scent, doesn't she?"

I nearly broke the steering wheel off the column.

"Calm down!" He lifted his hands in defense. "I'm only noticing."

Edward pulled the passenger door open then and dropped into the seat while I was still fuming over Jasper's response to La's scent. Jasper had poor control, it wasn't safe for him to be noticing _anything_.

Alice leaned forward and put her hand out. "I didn't see what happened, only that you were in Edward's car, and I was in La's."

I dropped the Fiat key in her hand and turned to look at her squarely. "This doesn't mean you can-"

"I know!" She chirped. " I can wait. It won't be long now."

She slipped out of the car and all but danced over to La's. As soon as the engine was turned I pulled out of the lot and led the way to the little cottage.

The rain must have disguised our arrival because she didn't look out at the sound of our approach. If she was there, Edward didn't offer any insight.

His discretion was something we took for granted. Being privy to all of our thoughts as he was it would be tantamount to betrayal if he were to repeat them without permission. So many years had passed in his company that this was now a matter of course. It didn't occur to me that I might want him to behave differently until suddenly I wanted very much for him to tell me exactly what was going on in one girl's head.

Alice quickly threw the Fiat into park and rejoined us in the Volkswagen. As soon as she was inside I flew away from La's house down the quiet, wet, wood lined roads.

The drive back to the Cullen household was a silent one. On our arrival we each went directly to separate pastimes.

Alice immediately booted a series of 42 inch monitors underneath the stairwell. I could hear them each sing as they came to life. She was working on a massive design project for Esme's wardrobe, but Esme remained out of sight on our arrival. She was humming quietly to herself upstairs- probably working on a new design project herself in the study.

Edward went directly to his piano, the centerpiece of our living room. He shuffled through several sheaves of paper before landing on one, and experimentally tapping out a tune, testing the pitch.

Jasper elbowed me in the ribs and nodded toward a set of eight chess boards laid out across the back bank of windows. He and I had been developing our own game of strategy for months, utilizing all eight boards, and three sets each of the chessmen, except the king and queen. Instead, we added a secondary set of nobles we called the consorts. These were nearly as powerful as the queen, but could only travel half the space.

These and other rules had been finalized only the previous week. This was our very first test game. We'd started on Monday, and weren't even half way through it.

We took up our positions on the floor, taking long pauses in between each move. Jasper was a careful player, taking the time to visualize every possibility before choosing his course. I took more risks, tackling several of his pawns in succession and dwindling his forces.

During all of this, my mind lingered on La. She'd looked so sick collapsed on the ground. I thought of the way she'd felt in my arms as I carried her to the car- so light and easily broken. I also thought about the force of her gaze, her ability to see directly through me, and decipher immediately all of my attempts at subterfuge.

Our conversation had been one of small revelations that didn't answer a single one of my questions. The best I could say, was that I'd gotten a resounding _yes_, and I'd discovered that whatever it was that happened in her past was distinctly none of my business.

Edward's tune changed. The melody lilted and swirled around itself. A strong bass was paired with a fresh central tenor. It reminded me of La's sad smile.

"Shit," I muttered as Jasper took down one of my consorts in my distraction.

I refocused on the board, trying to consider my next move against Jasper, but concentration was pointless. Edward's melody sank into my bones in a riot of unwanted imagery that sent my mind reeling.

I saw a life with La. She was back in that white dress, standing at the end of a rose petal strewn aisle. In her fists she clutched a broad bouquet that screamed with loud colors. This time she was beaming at _me_ at the other end of the aisle instead of some silly human. I waited patiently under an arbor laced with white roses. She was still human, but somehow I knew this would be her final _yes._

We were surrounded by our family and friends, both vampiric and human- all cheering us on as we read our vows.

The idealism of the vision shot a rage through me. It could never be real. How could it when I knew beyond any doubt she would die if we tried it. I imagined the beauty of the sleeping girl being lost to stillness. In this vision she no longer breathed, there were no more snores, and her fights with sheets would never come again. The idea made me indescribably sad.

In a huff, I left Jasper crouched over our amalgam chess board and made my way outside. Three large bounds later I was over the river and sprinting toward the Olympic Mountains in the distance.

"Wait, brother!" Jasper crashed through the underbrush in uncharacteristic haste. I screamed, ducked, and turned on a dime at the same time. Jasper halted a few steps behind me, face slack with surprise. His hesitation was all I needed to land one solid right hook directly to his jaw.

Jasper flew backwards twenty feet, landed on his sit bones, and skidded until a tree stopped his progression. As soon as his motion halted he was on his feet. We met in midair, the cacophonous crash nearly drowned by the sound of our snarling.

"What brought this on?" He ducked under another swing, gripped my arm, and swung me in a wide arc. "I thought you were coming to terms with your little tragedy."

I landed on my feet and dashed back without attempting to answer.

Jasper knelt and leaned into my attack. His shoulder jammed into my stomach as he lifted me off my feet, arms wrapped around one of my thighs.

"I don't want her to die," I grunted, and wrapped my arms around his waist. I used my greater weight to flip him backward. We landed on the ground an entangled mass of arms and legs.

"Then have Carlisle do it!" his voice was muffled. I loosened the stranglehold I had on him. His head was locked in between my thighs, mouth pressed into my jeans.

"What?"

"Have Carlisle turn her and be done with it!"

I pushed him away from me and sat up. I'd been so caught up with the possibility of La's death I hadn't really stopped to consider _how_ a transition would be possible.

"You think he would do that?"

"Yeah, man." He brushed pine needles and dirt from his shirt. There was a little tear by the shoulder at the seam. "Alice bought me this," he frowned but continued. "At this point any of us would do it just to put an end to your truculence."

"But what if she doesn't want this life?"

"What do you _think_ Alice's vision meant?" he countered.

For the second time I tried to envision what Alice would have seen. La's eyes gone red with transition, scent all but eliminated, body hard and resilient. It would be such a relief to not worry about breaking her or feasting on her.

"That vision implies she doesn't have a choice," I said hesitantly.

"No, that vision implies the choice has already been made." Jasper shook his head and got to his feet. He offered me a hand and pulled me up beside him. "Or will be, anyway. As far as we're concerned La Davis is not the hang up- you are."

"I've got to hear it from her," I disagreed. "I've got to hear from her mouth that this is what she wants."

"Then ask her." He clapped me on the back and led me back under the shadowy pines toward the house.

Esme was waiting on the front porch when we arrived, seated primly on the top step. Jasper walked passed her to join the family inside, but she looked past him at me and patted the space next to her. As I sat she pulled me into a mother's embrace, gently rocking back and forth with my cheek resting against the top of her head.

"It's going to be fine, Emmett," she whispered. "This will work out for the best. I know it will."

"Thanks," I mumbled back, but I didn't really believe it.

"Love doesn't always come in convenient packages," she added. I laughed humorlessly.

"I didn't think it was supposed to come in impossible ones, either."

"Nothing is impossible," Esme disagreed. "You may be the best equipped, out of all of us, to deal with this difficulty. If it takes time, patience, and self control- no one is your equal."

All mothers believed the best of their sons. I appreciated the faith she had in me, but realized she was simply overjoyed that I'd found someone after all this time. She'd worried Edward and I would be alone forever, and now that I'd found someone, one day Edward might too.

"She'll love you back." Her rocking had stopped. I looked down at her to find a confident smile. "If she's smart she'll know what a catch you are."

"Thanks, Mom."

To Esme, there was no morality question. If her son wanted a person, he would have her, and that person would be grateful for the opportunity.

Inside Edward was playing Chopsticks to Alice's delighted giggles. Jasper was watching fondly as his wife danced around the piano and made faces to distract Edward from his playing. As we entered, Edward switched to Esme's favorite song; one he'd written for her many years ago. She went to stand behind him and rested her hands on his shoulders as he played.

I headed for the stairs to get away from the noise and forge some homework in my room.

"Oh!" Alice stopped her dance abruptly and flitted to Jasper's side. "Guess what, Jasper?"

"What?" He took her hand and returned her excited smile.

"Peter and Charlotte will be in the neighborhood next week so they're going to stop in for a visit!" Alice trilled. "Isn't that nice?"

My hand on the banister made a faint crunching noise as it sank into the wood. Everyone in the room stopped moving and turned to face me.

"What's wrong, Emmett?" Esme looked at her banister with concern. She would likely replace the whole thing.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming to _Forks?"_ I shot at Alice.

She sighed dramatically. "Calm down! It isn't their first visit."

I forced a breath out through my nose. This was their first visit since La had moved here. If Jasper noticed her scent as special, it was possible those two would as well, and they didn't share our hunting habits.

Alice took a step toward me. "They never hunt here, Emmett. You know that."

This was one of the conditions on their visits by decree of the head of our family. They could visit whenever they liked, but they were not to hunt within 100 miles of our homestead in any direction. Still, if there was even the slightest chance they might find La's scent as appealing as I did they couldn't be trusted anywhere near her.

"When?" I barked.

Alice answered severely, clearly not happy about the situation. "Monday morning, but no one is going to hurt La. You know I would never let that happen."

"I know," I admitted. It didn't change anything. "You ready, Edward?"

"Goat Rocks?" he asked, and pushed back from the piano.

"Bear season."

"Hasn't anyone ever told you not to play with your food?" Edward called to me. He was sitting up on a short cliff face above me as I battled with an angry black bear.

"Oh, hey!" I shouted back and waved. The bear tried to take advantage of my distraction to rake one massive paw against my chest. It destroyed my shirt but left the skin underneath completely unharmed. The bear bellowed in frustration, spittle spraying across my face in it's rage.

I bellowed back, arms spread to make myself appear even bigger. I let the bear take another swing at me and laughed as the animal stumbled backward from the blow. The beast stood more than two feet taller than me, and would have outweighed me by several hundred pounds if I were human. No matter how long those raking claws were, it couldn't hurt me, so I let it tackle me to the ground.

Even through my cackling laughter I could hear Edward's long suffering sigh. He must be ready to delve into the reason I brought him out here.

_One minute!_

The bear roared again, but the mighty sound was cut off in a gurgle as we rolled over each other, taking down an enormous spruce tree in our struggle.

My shirt was in tatters, jeans torn in multiple places. Blood streaked down my face and exposed chest, while sap stuck into my hair. I looked a mess, but I was happy with the hunting trip so far. Edward was watching me from the top of the short cliff, shirt in perfect order, not a drop of blood in sight.

_Were you able to track down that mountain lion?_ I thought as I climbed the cliff face and settled onto a boulder next to him.

"Of course I was. I just don't eat like a savage." His nostrils turned up at the state of my clothes. What a priss.

"That was a strong one! I could almost feel it when it clawed me!" I plucked at some of the sap sticking in my hair but soon discovered it wouldn't come out quite so easily. "I wish they were stronger…."

"No one said you had to fight your food," he sniffed.

I laughed at his disgust. "Who else am I going to fight? You and Alice cheat, Carlisle refuses to_ really_ spar, and Esme gets mad when Jasper and I go too hard."

"Life must be incredibly hard for you, Emmett."

He watched me warily as I shifted into a crouch. "Come on, Edward. Turn it off for one second and fight fair."

"It doesn't work like that," he brushed away my eager anticipation with a flip of his hand.

"Still in a bad mood?"

"Certainly not," he countered. "You're just acting like a child."

"Is that what it is?" I shifted back down to sit next to him and gazed out over the landscape before us. We were seated on a steep side of a mountain that gave us a clear view into a wide valley below. It was green for miles and miles in every direction.

"Is that what _what_ is?" he huffed.

"Your attitude with me lately," I continued. "You think I'm acting like a child with whatever is going on with La."

"I can see that you can't help it, but what you're doing puts us all at risk. You are playing with something far more dangerous than fire."

"I'm sorry. I know this has put everyone in a tough spot."

"Then why won't you make a decision? Either have us bring her into the family, or we all need to move on."

"Is that what you would do?" It was a serious question, and Edward treated it that way. He paused to consider his answer before speaking.

"I don't know," he finally muttered.

"Then you can see why I can't choose for her." Our conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence.

_Have you ever thought about how unimaginably breakable they are? The millions of ways a mortal can die? The thousands of catastrophic things that can happen to them?_

"I can't say I have, no."

My thoughts strayed back to my first encounter with a bear. I'd barely been conscious, but the terror was visceral, the pain of her jaw cracking my bones was nearly as memorable as the memory of my transition. _I wasn't much of a match for her, huh?_

"No, I suppose not."

"And that's even an unlikely thing to happen! What about all the other things that could happen at any moment?" I burst out. "She could get hit by a car, or struck by lightning, or fall down stairs… there could be an earthquake, or a tornado, or a fire!"

Edward turned to me in confusion. "We're talking specifically about La now, right?"

"When was the last time you watched the news?" I pointed out. "Humans are despicable. They do truly awful things to each other- burglaries, homicides, assault…" I was becoming ever more uncomfortable being so far away from her. _Anything_ could happen. Peter and Charlotte could come early and La could find herself in their path before we could warn them away….

"Hey-" Edward gripped my arm. "Calm down. She lives in Forks, not San Francisco. There will not be any major earthquakes happening here. Peter and Charlotte know not to hunt near Forks, and they always go straight to the house. They won't see anyone before they see Jasper, alright?"

I nodded aggressively, but didn't really feel pacified.

"How does one human have such terrible luck? She's like a magnet." I tried again to pluck out the sap in my hair.

"How so?" Edward took pity on me and pulled a packet of wet wipes out of his pocket. He handed them to me with a smirk.

I immediately applied one to a particularly large chunk behind ear. "Think about it; of all the places in the world she could have ended up, she landed in a vampire nest."

"Yes, but a vampire nest full of individuals that subsist off of animals. I would call that lucky."

"Except I nearly killed her on day one." The chunk came free without tearing out any of my hair and I moved to one at my temple. It wouldn't budge.

"...And apparently you have more self control than any other vampire in the world, except perhaps Carlisle." His tone suggested he was as surprised as I was about that.

"Alright," I tucked the wipe into my pocket and got to my feet. "How about the van?"

"You're going to blame the van on some kind of cosmic force?"

_When you put it like that…_ We made our way into the valley, jogging at a slow pace.

"You sound like a crazy person, but I see what you mean about humans being fragile. I will mention that, currently, the biggest danger to La is you, and you're _here._"

"I think you've missed the point, Edward."

"Oh, I see the irony, I really do. A vampire in love with a human is pretty bad luck," he allowed.

We approached a wide stream at the bottom of the valley. I kicked off my shoes and dove in to rinse the blood from my body. When I resurfaced Edward was waiting by the bank ready to resume our conversation.

"I maintain that there is an easy solution to this problem."

An image of her face popped into my head, skin like flawless brown alabaster. "No."

"It would solve your issues with mortality, and her lack of edible scent would negate the issue of your desire to kill her. Wouldn't you agree that it's the best way?"

"For me or for her?"

"For you," he said easily. This was an obvious answer for him only because he had never felt the need to protect someone before. Jasper had said something very like to me when La had first fallen into my life. "_You've never felt about anyone the way I feel about Alice…" _I better understood what he meant now.

"And what about her, then?"

"You didn't mind so much," he reminded me. This was an understatement. I'd found a life in vampirism I never would have had the chance at as a human. It wasn't the same for La.

"You did."

Edward's transition had been more traumatic. The loss of his family to the spanish flu had been abrupt and at a time in his life when he should have had a lot of bright years ahead. He had a plan for his future, a military career to look forward to. Instead he woke up to an entirely new existence with a stranger that effectively shut out any possibilities for a smart young mortal.

"I suppose I did," he allowed. We walked through the woods slowly, meandering vaguely south.

"I can't force this on her, Edward."

"You're right. I'm sorry for pushing." He gripped my shoulder and gave me a light shake. There was forgiveness in his understanding. I was glad to have my brother back.

"What I don't understand is," he went on. "What your plan is?"

"Plan?"

"You won't change her without permission, and you refuse to leave her alone."

_Where are you going with this?_

"If you can't court her safely, what are you going to do?" He had a very good point, but he wasn't _quite _correct. Leaving her alone right now wasn't an option with Peter and Charlotte on the way. At least for now, she was safer with me close by.

As far as courting her...

"I can chase her, I just probably shouldn't, you know, touch her until she's a little harder to accidentally kill."

Edward was too much the gentleman to plainly speak about where I was going with that statement. As long as we'd been living together, I'd never seen him show any interest in anyone. There had never been anything more than a cordial friendship in more than 80 years. Esme worried that he'd been too young when he'd been changed, but now I wondered if it had more to do with finding the perfect partner.

"And if she says no?" The scent of a mountain lion on the wind caught his attention. We dropped into hunting crouches.

_If she says no I will force myself to leave. _As much as I tried to push conviction into the thought, it felt flimsy.

I was anxious being away from her now, even though I was fully aware that I would be back in two days. I dug my phone out of my pocket to check for new messages. Alice would have called if something had happened, and of course, like Edward had pointed out, until Peter and Charlotte arrived, she was safer with me gone.

There was nothing to worry about.

Edward leapt forward in a graceful arc. The mountain lion was crouched behind a fallen tree, hunting its own query. Edward snatched it from the ground and broke its neck in one clean motion. He fed quickly and quietly without spilling a drop.

But where was the fun in that?


	7. Chapter 7: The Destined

**CHAPTER SEVEN.**

* * *

**THE DESTINED**

Sunday finally arrived, despite my belief it would hang ever in the distance, like a mirage, toying with a man desperate with thirst in the desert. Edward and I had hunted until it was no longer possible for me to absorb any more blood. It sat heavy in my stomach. We ran back together, only parting at the house where I put on a set of clothes that weren't torn and blood stained. He gave me a sly smile as I exited through the kitchen door, fully aware of my intentions.

La's house was perfectly dark when I arrived just before dawn. The neighborhood was quiet, the rest of the homes slumbering peacefully. Climbing the house was just as easy as it had been the first time. I hung from the eave over La's window, fingers hooked into the aluminum gutters to peer inside.

She was sleeping without the violence of my first visit. Small puffs of breath pushed her lips out on the exhale, and a trickling snore emanated from her nose when she breathed in. Her hands were relaxed and open, one draped above her head, the other hanging off the side of the bed. It was an immense relief to be able to see her again. All the tension that had built within me during my absence slipped away as my eyes feasted on her sleeping form.

Edward had suggested oil for the sticky window to reduce the possibility of waking the girl up as I maneuvered it open. My toolkit in the garage contained a small tube of mild engine lubricant meant for my Jeep. It was a bit overkill, but at least opening the window wouldn't trigger dreams about mice, as my first visit did. I put three dots into the grooves in the track above and below the pane, then gently worked the window open. When I was finished it rolled smoothly and silently.

Hesitantly, I breathed in through my mouth to test the strength of her scent after such a long separation. The pain was ungodly. I'd been away too long.

As painful as it was, the fire was flavored with relief, too. It meant she was alive, and safe. I carefully breathed in through my nose and let the fire consume me as I swung outside her window. It was horrible, but I could manage it.

With the care of a thief in the night, I climbed through the open window and crept over to the chaise beside her bed. She didn't stir.

For several moments, I sat as still as possible and simply let her scent burn its way through my veins. It was like the first day all over again, like I was desensitizing from scratch. I would probably have to do this every time I left for longer than a day or two.

As I sat, I tried to glean as much information as I could from her appearance. Humans changed so quickly!

Almost as if she could feel my scrutiny, La twitched dramatically and pulled her trailing arm into her chest. I hoped she would speak, but her dreams seemed to be silent. Even as she rested quietly, she looked tired, as though she hadn't been sleeping well over the weekend. I wondered what could have kept her awake.

It cheered me slightly that I would be able to ask her when I saw her next, though that was still a couple days away. By Wednesday, I wouldn't have to watch her from afar, like I had for so long while we weren't speaking. We could be friends now! Try to be friends, anyway, and in an effort to be friendly, it would make sense for me to ask her about her weekend.

Assuming I was strong enough to behave, and continue to excel at not killing her, we would have plenty of time to get to know one another.

Best yet, with Edward's recent consent, I felt empowered to chase her properly. I didn't realize how much his approval meant for my happiness… until he withheld it. Now that I knew, I would have his support, navigating human courtship seemed possible.

La mumbled and turned over sluggishly. She was deeply asleep. Almost closer to unconscious, than actually asleep. It made me happy that she was finally getting the rest she needed, whatever had caused the lack through the weekend. I wondered if she'd thought about me, or even missed me the way I missed her.

Hopefully, she was having too much fun with her friends on their beach trip, to think of anything else. I tried to imagine her sitting in the sun warmed sand, laughing happily with friends. It was a pretty picture, and not one I would ever see. Not at this particular beach, anyway. La had gone to First Beach in La Push, a place I was forbidden by treaty to go.

An unlikely thought occured to me. My family was forbidden to go to this First Beach because even though the wolves were dead, a few old men of the tribe still remembered the histories. They still remembered and believed those tribe origin stories, and even the newer stories about a group of vampires that fell into their midst. It was possible, La may have just spent a portion of her weekend in the one place, where our secret was definitively known by a few tired old men.

I dashed the thought away. It was so outrageously unlikely, that La would run into one of the grumpy tribe elders that knew those stories, and even if she did, they were bound by treaty to not speak of it as much as the Cullens. They wouldn't be able to share them with her even if she asked, and there wasn't any feasible reason she would ask, since there wasn't a connection between my family and the wolves of the Quileute people more recent than 80 years.

No, I could feel confident she didn't discover anything there.

She seemed to have returned perfectly whole- and of course she did! Why wouldn't she? Still, the idea of her going somewhere I couldn't made me incredibly uncomfortable.

When the sun began to rise, I forced myself back out of the window. It was frustrating that I'd been away for the entirety of the weekend, and now, wouldn't be able to speak to La for another two days, due to good weather.

It was still mostly dark when I dropped from the window sill into the lush grass in the backyard. My plan was to lurk in the trees around the house to see La off to school, but as soon as I breached the shadows I found a trace of her scent lingering on a deer path that led away from the cottage.

The narrow track swiveled away from the backyard, deep into the surrounding wilderness. I followed the scent along the trail for more than a mile, growing more alarmed as it lead further and further into the darkness. The trail ended abruptly at curve in the path that was only remarkable because it was so astoundingly unremarkable. There didn't seem to be anything out here that could make her pause, no landmark, trail marker, or visual that would mark a place. It seemed, at first glance, to be exactly the middle of nowhere.

I looked around for another trace of her scent, and found her touch on the trunks of two trees, just to the right of the path. Beyond them, was a fallen tree surrounded by tall, busy ferns. Her scent was imbedded on the trunk as if she'd taken a seat on it. I sat down to see what she must have, but there was nothing extraordinary about the view. The undergrowth was so thick, it was impossible to see anything through the tangle of branches, brush, and greenery.

Above, I could hear the cry of birds, but the trees grew so close overhead I couldn't get a clear view of the sky.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Her scent was slightly washed out. It must have been raining when she'd been out here. The sound of little feet moving around, birds taking flight, and droplets of water dripping to the ground surrounded me. There was nothing here. Why would she have come all the way out here to sit by herself, in the cold, wet gloom?

It was like she went looking for danger. Anything could have happened out here- far from any other living soul. Since she lived alone, it may have taken days for anyone to notice she was missing. I groaned. Keeping her alive may actually take more work than I bargained for.

The Cullen house was full of sound and energy when I returned home. Edward was seated on his bench before the piano playing a soft jig. Carlisle and Esme were upstairs out of sight, but I could hear Esme laughing delightedly about something in the study. Peter and Charlotte were seated on the couch each with a hand of cards. Jasper was seated on the floor opposite them, also shuffling his own hand of cards. The coffee table separating them contained three short, neat stacks that must have been the rest of the deck for use in whatever game they were playing.

Alice was on the couch with Peter and Charlotte, but rather than sit on it properly she was laying on it upside down with her legs in the air, crossed at the ankles, and her head hanging off the front. She held a fashion magazine up above her head to read, and there was a stack of several more on the floor next to her.

"Go fish," Charlotte murmured and reshuffled her cards. Jasper leaned forward to slip a card off the deck to his right.

"Really?" I tried to push Alice's legs over but she was already perched on the armrest. Instead I hopped over the back of the couch and took her vacated space next to Charlotte.

"We've never played before." Charlotte's voice was naturally soft and rather quiet. It made her easy to overlook in a room, but that would be a deadly mistake from what Jasper told me about his friends from the south.

"How many decks are you using?"

"Two standard, two transformative, and one translucent." Unlike Jasper, Peter had endeavored to lose as much of his southern accent as possible. He opted, instead, for the basic middle America one that had a way of consistently sounding both casual, and professional at once. "Would you like to deal in?"

This was a version of the game Jasper, Esme, and I played fairly often. Instead of standard books of four, the object was to build whole suits. Adding the translucent deck made it difficult even for us to know who had which sets. It could take anywhere from an hour to several days, to complete one game.

"Sure, why not?"

"Pull nine." Peter shifted to the floor to make the table more evenly surrounded.

I did as he suggested and swiftly ordered my hand by sets. I only got one translucent jack, the rest of my hand was standard. Not a great start.

"Ooh!" Alice shut her magazine with a firm snap. "You're going to Port Angeles!"

When I'd seen La off to school in the morning, Jessica Stanley had accosted her before the first class had started, with an invitation to shop in the small port town near the border. At the time she'd been unwilling to commit. I wondered what changed her mind.

I flicked my card hand closed and turned toward Alice. "Am I?"

"Well, La is going, so I assume you are." She got up and danced over to her bank of computer monitors. "You'll probably want to borrow Edward's car though."

"No," Edward supplied mildly from behind the piano. The music did not pause.

"There's nothing wrong with the Jeep," I huffed. Peter and Charlotte's eyes were flicking between us rapidly. I had to commend them for their propriety. If I were in their position, I would be asking the questions that were surely on their minds.

"Got any two's?" I asked Jasper blindly. He handed three cards over, each from a different deck. Entirely unhelpful for my hand, but it redirected everyone's attention to the game and off of my discomfort.

My obsession had become so commonplace in the household that assuming I would be wherever La would be was a matter of course. At least I could take comfort from the knowledge they were no longer judging me for it.

We continued to play the game, but my thoughts hung on this enforced absence from the public eye. I wanted very much to drop the cards in my hand, run to campus, and… and what? Lurk in the shadows like a creep? Wasn't watching the girl while she slept enough creeping for one day?

My morning watching La rush around to get to school on time had been a display of frustration. What I'd wanted to do was offer La a ride, then maybe walk her to class, or even ditch school altogether and go adventuring. The sun, of course, limited my ability to do any of those things as my family's differences became rather obvious in the light of day.

She'd somehow managed to arrive early and chosen a seat on a picnic table in the sloping green field that separated the west parking lot from campus. She looked so happy in the sun I wanted to sit with her and share in her joy. Obviously, this was impossible, so I sat in the cover of trees and eavesdropped on a conversation she shared with the Fungus instead.

He approached her from the parking lot, blonde spikes glinting in the sun. I imagined little echoes of "douche, douche, douche…" emanated from him with every step. When he called her name, she responded with so much enthusiasm I nearly growled. At one point, he even touched her hair and I was only calmed when she shrank away from him in disgust.

This reaction was in direct opposition to the reaction she had given me on Wednesday… at least I thought it was. Even if Edward swore it was just surprise, she had run away from me. Maybe she just didn't like to be touched. At least she hadn't looked disgusted.

When the annoying little twirp asked her on a date, I accidently broke the baby spruce tree I was leaning against. Thankfully, I was too far away for either of the humans to hear the commotion.

In true La fashion, she was able to redirect her suitor's attention onto someone else without too much trouble. They walked toward their building together, La moving with quick, jerky, uncomfortable strides, and the boy lost in pensive thought.

Jessica Stanley caught them right before they entered the building to invite La to Port Angeles. I immediately shuffled my plans to escort them from afar. While it was unlikely they would run into any trouble there, La seemed to be a magnet for all things terrible. Port Angeles was only less boring than Forks because it was marginally larger. It was still just another little, shit town, where nothing ever really happened.

"Have you got any jack's?" Charlotte all but whispered in my direction. Damn, this was not my game. I handed her my only translucent card, and asked Peter for some Queen's. The game progressed through the morning and afternoon, becoming heated when Jasper built the first translucent suit, doubling his points.

Before 4:30 pm approached, Alice informed me that La's plans had changed. She wouldn't be going to Port Angeles after all. That was easy. I could go by her house to check on her, then take a quick hunting trip in the evening to make sure I was safe as possible when I went back after nightfall. I knew I shouldn't be spying on her this way, but I couldn't deny myself the temptation of listening in to her thoughts as she slept on top of all the other temptations I was so adequately denying.

I ducked out through the kitchen, then trekked through the woods until I arrived at the back of La's house. She was in the little kitchen packing a picnic basket.

After a few moments of bustling movement, she exited the back door with a basket, a blanket, a book, and a fluted glass full of brown, sloshing liquid. She set everything down and chose a spot in the damp grass to spread the blanket, ensuring none of the corners were folded under or scrunched up awkwardly. Once the blanket was placed and spread to her content, she flopped on top of it, and pulled out a chunk of white cheese from the basket which she nibbled without bothering to slice. In between the occasional bite, she would stick her nose in the glass of brown liquid, then give it a tentative sip.

Her book was clearly well loved; floppy and dog-eared with a broken spine. Though it was as thick as a fist, it laid flat on the ground in front of her without need for weights to hold it open. The angle was such that I couldn't read the book over her shoulder from my position, but it was clearly one she was familiar with. A slight smile crinkled the corner of her mouth, as her eyes flew over the pages.

It occured to me that I was witnessing something very private. This was La's happy place, her favorite thing. Longing shot through me. I wanted so badly to share this moment with her, perhaps with my own book, in a meadow full of wildflowers, where the birds sing freely, and we wouldn't have to worry about anyone else finding us. Somewhere, I wouldn't have to hide from the sun.

I watched her read for several long moments. Eventually her eyelids began to droop, lulled by the ambient warmth of the day. She set her glass carefully aside, put the cheese back in the basket, and pillowed her head on her arm. She then used the basket to prop her book into an angle that allowed continued reading. She only attempted to read a little bit longer before she was happily dozing in the sunshine.

Her black curls spread around her head in blue-black rivulets, streaked with warm chestnut. At one point she twitched and woke up enough to flick a lingering curl off her face, but she fell still again quickly after that. I settled in to wait. I didn't want her to end up sleeping out here all night.

When her lips began to tremble, and soft mumbles flitted out of her mouth, curiosity overcame me. I listened hard in every direction until I could catch voices in the nearest houses.

Someone was baking in the house next door, reciting the recipe to themselves as they performed each step. On the other side, a couple was watching a soccer game while hollering excitedly at the television. A woman, across the street, was deciding which dress she should wear on a first date, leaning heavily toward something little and black.

Everyone close seemed to be occupied, and there were no cars coming down the street.

This is not a good idea, I tried to talk myself out of it. Approaching La in the sun was extremely risky, and absolutely wrong. Edward and Jasper would be furious if they found out I was flouting our strict rules so consciously, but I'd never been the responsible one, and they weren't here to judge me.

Fuck it. Decision made, I held my breath and darted out from my protective tree cover to kneel beside La's blanket.

As soon as I stepped into the sun, my skin reacted. The watery UV light reflected off the smooth ivory of my exposed arms and face, to kiss La's cheeks. I smiled at the rosy hues it brought out in her skin tone. She looked so alive! I reached out to take her book for a closer look, but as the light reflecting from my skin crossed her eyelids, she shifted and mumbled again.

I held still, waiting.

When no further proclamations came, I quickly snagged the book and rushed back into the shade. I only started breathing again when I was a safe distance away, just in case. Though, with every passing day I was becoming more comfortable with the awful pain her scent caused, the sun seemed to affect it, make it more potent. It was as if the heat sweetened it the way it sweetened strawberries in a baking pie.

My throat flamed viciously, but I savored it. For, as long as there was fire in my throat, La was alive. I swallowed, careful to get control of myself before I concentrated on anything else. Once the fire diminished, I looked down at the book in my hands. It was a complete collection of Austen's works.

The choice surprised me. We'd had an extremely memorable conversation about Star Trek at lunch the other day. From that, I assumed she would read sci-fi, as well as watch it. Austen was a far cry from Jean Luc Picard, unless he was having an encounter in the holo-deck.

I chuckled at the thought and opened the book to the page she'd last read. It was near the end of Pride & Prejudice. So far along, she must have opened the book and started reading near the end to begin with. La had fallen asleep during the scene where Elizabeth awkwardly runs into Mr. Darcy at his family estate, right after she'd made it very clear she never wished to see him again.

"Emmett…"

I hit the ground before I realized La was only talking in her sleep. Dreaming of me again. After a quick listen of the surrounding neighborhood, I stole back out into the sunshine to replace her book.

"Darcy…" she murmured. What I would give to be able to see her dreams. "Go away!" she whined, then snored loudly. I snickered into my hand to reduce the noise. I waited a little longer to see if she had any other pearls of wisdom to offer, but she seemed to be finished, so I slunk back to the trees.

I waited with her until the sun began to sink below the horizon. The long, forming shadows stretched their inky fingers toward La's prone form. I wanted to fight them back, save her from darkness' embrace, but the setting of the sun was inevitable.

As the ambient light dimmed, color drained from La's skin until she almost looked too pale. Her hair had lost the chestnut shine the sun had revealed, leaving it cold and black against the cool color of the blanket.

When the temperature started to drop with the sun's decline, and she still hadn't moved, I decided it might be time to wake her, though I was loathe to disturb her peaceful rest.

I crept back out and crouched beside her on the blanket. For a moment, I held my hand awkwardly in the air over her shoulder. I'd almost touched her, to poke her awake, but remembered her reaction to being touched earlier.

Instead, I leaned down close to her ear and whispered her name until she shifted.

"La, my love. It's time to wake up." When she grunted, I flew back to the trees. Her heartbeat was a little closer to a waking rhythm, but she still wasn't fully awake. I looked around for a thick tree branch that was dry enough to make a loud noise.

When I found one, I returned to the edge of the trees and snapped it in half. The sound wasn't as impressive as I hoped, but it was enough to jerk her out of sleep. She shot up into a seated position and blinked blearily into the encroaching darkness.

She seemed befuddled and lost as she looked around herself, and finally up at the sky, like she was searching for the sun. For a brief moment, her eyes touched the shadows under the trees where I hid. She narrowed her eyes, as though she was trying to pierce the darkness.

"Hmm," she muttered and stood to gather her things.

I waited until she was inside, then took off to allow her some privacy. I didn't want to trespass the way a peeping tom would have, though the line of distinction did seem to be blurring. I decided I would draw the line at protection, and because I couldn't seem to keep myself away, also when she was asleep. I thought about the way someone like Fungus would leer at her if he had the abilities I did, and shuddered. She deserved better than that.

Hunting first, I decided, though I wasn't looking forward to it. For this trip, I would have to content myself with smaller, more docile creatures. They didn't taste as good, and I was still over full from the weekend, but it was still safer than not hunting at all.

The Cullen household was empty when I arrived. Jasper had left a note pinned to my bedroom door.

Rugby at the Rainier Field until late. Join us!

I considered it. There were several hours available until I would be back at La's cottage when she would be asleep. It was just possible I would be able to play a round, hunt and make it back in time to catch her sleep talking. ...but it would be close, and the teams were even without me in any case, assuming Esme was reffing.

I ducked into my room to grab a pen and wrote "sorry" on the note. Jasper would be disappointed, but I could make it up to him later.

My hunting trip was uneventful and unenjoyable as I thought it might be. I rushed through it, only taking down one deer, which I forced myself to drink then ran back home where I quickly showered and changed clothes.

As soon as I was done, I headed straight back to Forks. La's cottage was dark as I expected, with the one dim light in the kitchen, and one hallway light upstairs. The antique clock in her room said it was just after midnight.

La had fallen asleep with her book on her chest, but then rolled over on top of it, until she was almost cuddling it. The position was such that it looked like some of the pages would tear if she moved again. I gently untangled the book and set it beside her bed.

Without the book, she slept as violently as the first night I'd watched her. This time, even her face showed her displeasure, expressions shifting from worried, to anger, to frightened, with every kick of the covers. She thrashed at her blankets as though they were an octopus, squeezing the life out of her with their many tentacles.

She didn't speak very much, and when she did, it was derogatory remarks on the general greenness of Forks, and the awful, plaguing rain. As entertaining as it was, I was worried the restlessness of her sleep would affect her day. I felt powerless watching her fight her bed, and angry that I wouldn't be able to comfort her on the next day if she felt ill.

The only silver-lining was that tomorrow would be the last day I would have to hide due to weather.

Her morning followed the same routine as the previous one. I left once the sun was up to check the woods around her house; there were no unanticipated scent trails this time. When I returned she was already slamming the hatch on her car and slumping into the driver's seat.

The day was warm. Warmer than it had been since fall, though, there would certainly be a big drop in temperature once the sun went down. La wore a thin black v-neck blouse over a faded pair of jeans with heeled boots. Her peacoat was already folded haphazardly in the passenger seat.

The unseasonable warmth should have made her happy, but she looked even more despondent than she did on the previous day. I frowned as she pulled out of her driveway and took off down the road. Her tires peeled out on the pavement from an uncharacteristic aggression.

I ran to campus and watched as she grumped around, speaking only when she absolutely had to. Even Fungus left her alone. I stayed only long enough to hear her agree to the rescheduled trip to Port Angeles. Angela would be joining them. This was good news. With the foul humor La was exhibiting, there would need to be a buffer between La and Jessica or neither of them would survive the trip.

The entire family was outside in the meadow surrounding the house on my return. It wasn't very often we allowed ourselves the luxury of sunshine, but with Peter and Charlotte in town, I expect Esme couldn't resist.

Alice was weaving flowers into Charlotte's hair while the two of them watched Jasper and Peter spar. Carlisle was reading a book while his partner worked delicately in a flower bed nearby.

"What's up, Pops?" I flopped onto the blanket beside Carlisle. He shut his book immediately and turned to me with a ready smile.

"You look better and better every day, son."

"People keep saying that, but I'm way too handsome to have ever looked poorly." I picked his book up to read the cover. The Odyssey. He must be feeling nostalgic about something. Carlisle only every pulled out the classic fiction when his mind was wandering.

He chuckled. "Well, it's nice all the same."

"Where's Edward?" He wasn't enjoying the sun with the rest of the family.

"In his room, I expect." Carlisle retrieved his book and continued from the page he'd left as if he hadn't been interrupted.

Instead of going back around to the front of the house, climbing the stairs, and knocking on Edward's door like a normal, I turned to the wide bank of windows at the back of the house. The last window at the second floor level, all the way to the right was open. The tinkling melodies of Debussey could be heard streaming out over the trees.

There was no point in disguising my footsteps, Edward would be expecting me. I leapt up into the branches of a tree beside the house and dove toward the open gap in the windows. I landed lightly on a plush golden rug.

Edward was seated on his reading couch with a notebook propped on his knee and a quill in his hand.

Where on earth did you find a quill?!

"What can I do for you, Emmett?" He didn't look up.

"Are you practicing calligraphy?" I asked with exaggerated astonishment, and tried to peer at his notebook. He snatched it away before I could get a glimpse.

"I'm writing a letter, if you must know."

"Super, sorry to interrupt," I said, with very real sincerity. His vinyl collection was in a bank of shelves opposite the window. I went to it and quickly sorted through until I found the album I wanted and held it up. "Can I borrow this?"

"Yes," he set his calligraphy aside and reached into a drawer beneath the record player. He quickly flipped to a record with practiced movements and pulled it out. "But this is the one you want- the late 50's collection. It has 'Love is Here to Stay' on it, which is the song stuck in your head."

"Thanks!" I added it to the stack I was collecting. "Can I borrow your car tonight, too?"

"Not the Porsche?"

"Too loud," I chuckled. Only Alice would buy a car in such a vulgar shade of yellow.

Edward smiled. "It's quite something, certainly. Is your Jeep also too loud?"

"Definitely." My Jeep had been purchased with a singular goal; destruction of everything in its path. It was a great car, but hard to miss, which made it less ideal for the execution of stealth missions. Even the humans I meant to follow would catch sight of the behemoth eventually.

"Alright then, sure."

"Thanks twice, brother!" I clapped him on the shoulder, then went up to my room where I dropped off the Billie Holiday records I'd just borrowed. From my room I could see that Jasper and Peter were still sparring in the yard. I had several hours to kill before La would be going to Port Angeles, I may as well enjoy my time.

Again, instead of taking the slow route through the house, I popped my window open and jumped straight toward the fighting figures. They each spun away just before I landed, Peter roosting in a nearby tree, while Jasper sprang back to sweep my legs out from under me.

I managed to jump away from the effort, only to have Peter at my back, executing a solid hook to the kidneys. I hit the ground and rolled away laughing.

He came over to help me up, a wide grin on his face.

"Well aimed, my friend. Want a round?"

"Hell yes!" Without a moment's hesitation, we swung at each other, in a flurry of punches and roundhouse kicks. Jasper took a break to sit with Alice and Charlotte.

Peter was an extraordinary fighter. He had an inherent quickness, that almost seemed like he knew, where I would strike before I did. It reminded me of what Jasper said about some people having a positive aptitude for vampirism. Hadn't he said the southern tribes looked for humans like that. Was it possible Peter was himself one of those?

"Do you know anything about humans that tend to…" I wasn't sure how to phrase it and fumbled the wording. "Take to vampirism easily?"

My attempt at nonchalance was made more difficult, by desperate motions to block multiple jabs, aimed at my face. Peter, didn't miss the gravity of my question, even for a second. He pulled out of a swing immediately and gave me a sharp look.

"Why do you ask?" Charlotte flitted over to stand next to her partner with the same penetrating stare.

"I think I may know one, and I just wondered what some of the implications might be." The two of them were standing shoulder to shoulder, tense and aggressive. "I've never heard of anything like it before Jasper mentioned it."

"Why do you want to know?" Charlotte narrowed her eyes.

"He's not building an army, if that's what you're thinking." Jasper had risen to join us. His posture was one of relaxed contentment that went directly at odds with his friends. Alice was only a few steps behind him.

"Then what is your interest?" Peter glared at me.

"Why are you so protective over it?" I mirrored their stance. Two could play the intimidation game, and if they had information that might be helpful to La's situation, I needed to hear it.

"They are hunted," Charlotte said flatly in her quiet, serene voice.

"You may as well tell him, Peter. He's not going to give it up," Jasper added. A wave of calm swept me. He was using his peculiar talent to help ease the sudden hostility in our dispositions.

"Why didn't you tell him yourself?"

"I thought it would be better from the three of us together," Jasper admitted. "I was planning on calling you when Alice saw your visit."

"Why wait until now?" Peter persisted.

Jasper tilted his head in Alice's direction.

"It wasn't time," she supplied. Everyone seemed to accept that without further explanation.

"We'd better start at the beginning, then." Peter motioned for Jasper to take the lead.

"When Maria started the southern wars, everything changed," Jasper began with a sigh. "You've never been down there, so you have no reason to understand the state our kind were in- especially back then. Forced to live in shadow in an area that is known for big open skies. Living away from the metropolitan areas is impossible for lack of hunting, so we were forced to live exclusively by night.

"It was Maria that declared she would no longer hide. She began to claim territories as her own and held them with brutal force. At first, it was to keep her coven fed, but she got greedy. Her territories expanded, her coven grew. Things became unruly when the other covens fought back. It became a violent race to claim the largest piece of the hunting territory."

I knew this part of the tale. Jasper's origin's story was not a pleasant one. He would tell me about the newborn armies next, how Maria was able to gain a foothold in Mexico, and even into New Mexico. He would tell me how she was only able to hold it through blatant slaughter. It got so bad, the Volturi stepped in and rained hell on El Paso. Every vampire within 200 miles had been eradicated. Jasper and Maria barely snuck out with their lives. They hid north, regrouped, and finally reclaimed their territory. This time they did it quickly and quietly.

"The most effective way to claim and hold land was with an army built from newborns," he went on as I expected. "Their strength is at its peak during the first year. So we trained them extensively for six months, then sent them to their deaths."

"As I told you, during this time Maria and I discovered there were some few that absorbed the training with ease, that could control their thirst a little bit better, and seemed to absorb vampiric existence with glee. We call them the Divenire."

A thrill traveled down my spine.

"The Divenire?" I puzzled over the word. It sounded Italian, but languages were never a strength of mine. "To become?"

The three vampires before me nodded meaningfully.

"You don't mean to imply that these people are meant to be turned into vampires?" I asked in stupefaction. We discussed this with Alice only the previous month and decided it was a ridiculous idea!

Didn't we?

I thought back to the whispered conversation between myself, Jasper, and Alice on my first day back to class after my trip to Canada.

Now that I thought about it, I didn't remember Jasper saying a word. He'd let me and Alice bicker over his head.

"Yes," Charlotte murmured. "The Divenire are thought to be humans that were meant to become vampires."

"No one is meant to become a vampire," I disagreed immediately, unwilling to believe it. That would mean La never had a choice to begin with, that all of this was preordained somehow.

"Many would disagree with you," Charlotte demurred. "We exist, therefore we exist to procreate, and some humans take to this existence better than others."

"How can you tell which humans are Divenire?"

Peter and Charlotte looked at each other wordlessly for a moment, before either of them spoke. There was a gravity in their gaze that didn't seem to sync with the question I had posed.

Peter answered. "You will find the Divenire among the restless wanderers. They tend to notice our differences immediately, but will not be bothered by them."

"During the height of the Southern Wars the Divenire were a rumor," he continued. "A fairy tale at best. What did it matter, if there might be some few humans that could be destined to join our ranks? What is destiny to the immortal? Those who have all the time in the world?

"That is until Maria got involved."

"As you know, during that period, time was of the essence," Jasper said. "We had to be quietly lethal, and exactingly effective. When Maria heard rumors of humans that might be vampire ready, it was a matter of course that she find them and turn them.

"She set out to find one immediately. It was a slow process because she didn't know what exactly to look for."

Oh my god, "And then she found you."

Jasper nodded. "And then she found me. A young military hopeful with a talent for persuasion.

"Upon transition we shine," Jasper added. "We are less confused, less chaotic, and quicker on the uptake. We absorb everything about vampirism rapidly, and wear the mantle of immortality more comfortably than any other newborn I've ever seen."

Another chill crept down my spine. This, sounded very, very familiar.

"She wasn't sure what she found with me, until I had transitioned. Even then, it could have been a coincidence, until we found Peter."

"The southern wars changed, then. She sent us looking for Divenire, sometimes tearing people from their families, even decimating entire villages to build her army."

"That's when you left?" I asked.

"Sadly no," Peter shook his head and glanced at Charlotte. "It wasn't until she threatened the life of someone precious to me that I left." She took his hand with both of hers and held it firmly.

"So what does being Divenire mean for the human? What did it mean for you?" I brought the conversation back around to what I really wanted to know; how this would affect La.

"For me, it meant only that my life was cut short," Peter said.

"Are you happier, or more comfortable?" I was grasping at straws.

"Yes and no," Peter allowed. "It's hard to say. I was not given a choice. Perhaps if I hadn't been born in blood, it is possible that things may have been different, but we'll never know."

My mind was still reeling from the implications, trying to fit pieces of a puzzle together. "If someone was meant to be something, shouldn't there be a reason?"

"Some say, the Divenire have a different purpose, to those of us that simply exist. A drive, if you will." Charlotte spoke up with a shrug. "Again, if that is true, Maria made sure anyone in her ranks was unable to know any purpose but her own. We were beaten into submission."

"Now, we only want peace," Peter agreed. "But I have wondered about those of us like Carlisle, who has dedicated his existence to a higher purpose. If there were more of us dedicated to the good, we would be unstoppable."

I blinked at him. "If we did too much of that, the Volturi would slaughter us."

"Yes," he murmured thoughtfully. "It's amazing, isn't it? All of that power, yet they've stayed hidden, secluded, in a remote tower for centuries."

There was nothing I could say to that. He was right, but it didn't seem fair that any small group of people should have the weight of changing the world on their shoulders. Predestined or not.

"How about your transition? Was it shorter, easier?"

"Not particularly, I don't think," Peter said. "I found it easier to control the thirst drive within the first year, as Jasper said. To Maria, this meant we could train earlier, which meant joining her ranks earlier. It only enabled her to use our newborn strength for a longer period of time."

"Jasper also mentioned the possibility of stronger powers, is that true?"

"Those of us that are powered are even rarer than you would find in a general population of vampires," Peter admitted. "When one is found their power is fearsome to behold."

"That's why they are hunted?"

"Yes," Charlotte narrowed her eyes. "Why are you asking? Do you really think you've found one?"

I glanced at Jasper, surprised he hadn't mentioned anything to his friends. His face remained impassive at my inquiring look.

"I think I may have," I said. "She shows no fear in my presence at all."

"Keep her safe," Charlotte's features pinched. "There are those that would take her from you."

"What do you mean?" I asked warily.

"We've heard whispers of a hunter in the night." Peter put his arm around his mate and pulled her close. "Whispers of one lacking morals, that flies with all haste through various cities wreaking havoc."

"Where did you hear this?" Jasper's curiosity refocused everyone's attention away from me.

"Outside of St. Louis nearly two months ago," Peter offered. I immediately relaxed. St. Louis was more than two thousand miles away. There was no feasible reason for a troublemaker to come all the way out here.

"What else can you tell me?" Jasper asked, but he was only doing his due diligence.

"Only rumors. It is said that he killed an old one, and is absolutely merciless," Peter spread his hands in apology. "We didn't want to be involved, so we're heading to Vancouver to stay well away."

"You know what can happen when rumors like that start," Charlotte shook her head.

"Indeed," Jasper agreed.

I left them to their discussions of rumors and passed the time in my room, listening to my borrowed records and reading some old comics. When it neared the time La and her friends would be arriving in Port Angeles, I put the comic back in its case and joined the family downstairs, who had moved inside as the afternoon progressed.

Jasper and Peter were rounding their conversation into the looping structures of circular goodbyes.

"Do you ever run into Maria?" Jasper asked. They were standing by the door, light packs on the backs of both Charlotte and Peter.

"Thankfully not," Peter chuckled. "It's probably for the best we don't."

Maria had turned the three of them, at different points, over the last two centuries. Jasper was the oldest, having been turned during the Civil War, and Charlotte, the youngest, in the late thirties. Maria had once looked Jasper up while we were living in Calgary. Edward and I had been about to start our journey away from the family, and were already feeling a bit antsy. Maria had come and ignited our desire for experience outside our coven, and nearly burned the whole city down in the process. It had been an eventful visit, and one that I remembered fondly, if it was a bit chaotic. The family had to move immediately, and Jasper had asked her, politely as possible, to refrain from visiting again.

Peter had been instrumental to Jasper's eventual defection from the southern wars. Since Jasper had been Maria's favorite, she'd never quite forgiven Peter for the loss. This, had always been a bewildering detail in their relationship to me. As far as I knew, Maria had planned to kill Jasper and was only thwarted by his defection. In that case, I always thought Maria should have been thankful Peter was able to lure him away with talks of peaceful lifestyles.

They shook hands with broad smiles and made promises for another visit, not so long in between this time. I offered my farewells as they exited and waited only long enough to see them running off into the woods before I was sprinting for the garage.

"They're going to go straight to Seattle, Emmett," Alice called. "You don't have to worry!"

I pretended I didn't hear her, and slammed the door closed behind me. My excuses were already so thin I was starting to wonder why I continued to pretend. Of course I was worried about La, but not really because of Charlotte and Peter. I trusted them well enough to stay away from our territory.

No, I just felt uneasy when I couldn't be sure of La's wellbeing with my own eyes. I was happy to let the women get a head start- tailing them at the crawling pace of the speed limit, would do my head in. This way, I could catch up with them in Port Angeles at a reasonable speed.

As I got into the Volkswagen, Alice's little face appeared at the door I had just slammed shut.

"Say hi to La for me!" She waved happily from the doorframe as I flipped her off and squealed out of the garage.

* * *

**A/N:** (02/18/2020) Thank you so much to those of you that have been keeping up with this story! As some of you may have noticed, there has been a bit of a pause in the publishing. This is due to the loss of my wonderful beta-readers. If one of you beautiful people have any interest in being a second set of eyes on this story, please PM me!


	8. Chapter 8: Rule Number Two

**CHAPTER EIGHT.**

* * *

**RULE NUMBER TWO**

Though I waited until the last minute to leave, my speed was such that the sun was still shining merrily as I neared Port Angeles. With the sun remaining so high over the horizon, it was too bright for me to continue on into town. Light would reflect from my skin right out of the windshield - even with the added tinting Edward had installed. As much as I would like to drive directly to the department store the girls intended to go to, it was too much of a risk.

Alice had been sure the three of them would go directly to the store, stay for a while, then go straight to dinner. Considering there weren't very many places they could go, I wasn't terribly worried about finding them when the time came. I still needed to figure out how I would explain my presence in Port Angeles, should I actually decide to show my face. Maybe I could buy a gift for Alice and pretend that had been my plan all along?

In an effort to eliminate the possibility of exposure, I stopped on the outskirts of town to wait out the sunset. There was a handy, disused, gravely turn-about just north of the 101, next to a small, family owned winery. It made me antsy to be so close, yet unable to see or hear the women in question.

_There isn't much trouble to be found here, _I reminded myself, though it didn't soothe the anxiety. I turned up my music, and thumped the beat on the steering wheel in frustration.

At nearly six o'clock the sun was finally began its descent to the west. It wouldn't be long now until it was properly dark. Through a gap in the trees ahead I could see dark clouds building, slowly drifting their way ever eastward. They would be over Port Angeles soon, hastening the sunset. I wished they would get a move-on. The sooner I could park the car near 1st Street, the better.

The song switched to a fast paced psychobilly cover of an 80's favorite. The frantic base and wailing guitars made me feel more anxious so I skipped ahead until I found a calmer selection by Carl Perkins and sang along.

My thumbs thumped the steering wheel in time with "Gone, gone, gone," creating a soft, hollow noise. I peered at the clouds again and checked the clock. 5:50pm.

Tomorrow I would be able to return to class and this dreadful waiting would be over. I would ask her to join me for lunch, then bombard her with the hundreds of questions that had been floating around in my skull- especially since that conversation with Peter and Charlotte. There may even be a chance to find out if she'd come up with anymore theories about my family.

I didn't want to wait that long. I wanted to see her tonight, though faking a casual run-in might be awkward. Perhaps I should call Alice and invite her to join me for a meal in the same restaurant? It would be fully dark by then, so no glowing vampire problems. Alice and I could pretend to just happen to be in the same place at the same time. I reached for my phone, and even opened the speed dial to call, but then remembered Alice would want to talk to La. The likelihood of Alice enthusiastically describing my obsession of La to the woman herself was too high of a risk. I cringed imagining it.

"_What do you mean you didn't know my brother was watching you sleep?" Ugh._

My phone rang in my hand before I had a chance to replace it in the dock. It was Alice. I hit the green accept circle on the car display and waited for the tell-tale click that signified the connection had gone through.

"No way, Munch-"

"Where is La?!" Alice cut me off frantically.

"What?" I asked stupidly. "What do you mean? She's with-"

"Something has changed."

Without a second thought I tore out of the gravel turn-about where I had been parked. Tiny rocks banged against the undercarriage as I swerved backwards and forwards coming out of a tight turn that pointed me back towards town. I mowed through intersections, plowed through stop signs, and ran several red lights in my haste to get closer.

"What have you seen?" I asked tightly.

"A dark street, she's alone, and extremely uncomfortable."

"Where?" I took a sharp left turn that put me on Lauridsen Boulevard. I had to slow down now because there was traffic concentrated on this road heading to and from the 101. I peered around the street looking and listening. I even cracked my window, hoping a glimpse of her scent would reach me so that I could follow it.

"I don't know, I can't see anything I recognize. It looks run down, and sort of industrial. She's walking next to a chain link fence."

I cursed and hung up on Alice so that I could concentrate. The sun was glinting off of my hands where they clenched the steering wheel. Hopefully anyone that looked over would think it was a glare off my windshield. It wouldn't be too much longer before I could get out and search on foot, but those few extra moments might mean I was too late.

Too late for what, though? I didn't want to think about it.

Of _course_ she went off on her own. How did I not expect something like this? La was a strong-willed, independent person on a trip with a girl she _barely_ tolerated. _Of course_ she took a break when she needed one! She probably hadn't thought twice about it, especially in a dumpy little town like this one. The idea of possible danger probably hadn't even occurred to her.

Thankfully, I was very familiar with most of the streets in and around Port Angeles. Alice had said La seemed to be in an industrial zone, that meant she would have to be on the southwest side of town. I drove through it slowly, alert for any sign that might point in the right direction.

Eventually I reached 1st Street and knew I had gone too far. At a stoplight waiting to turn back south I overheard La's name in a familiar voice.

"Do you think La will be looking for us, though?"

It was Angela Webber. She and Jessica Stanley were standing on the corner at 1st and Peabody, laden with their bags of shopping.

"She'll be fine," Jessica huffed impatiently. "We'll get to the restaurant in plenty of time, even if we go back. Besides, I think she wanted to be alone in that book store."

She sounded exasperated with her friend. Not even remotely worried that La might have disappeared. I would remember her disregard later. What an awful friend. At least this gave me a hint. There were only two bookstores close by and one of them was more of a new age shop. La would have no interest in that, so I would go straight to the other one.

The light finally turned green allowing me to tear off in the direction of the bookstore. This store was still along the friendly face of the welcoming port town. Even if she'd walked all the way down here, she should have been basically safe. There was no reason for her to have ended up in the industrial zone from here.

As I drove I judged the angle of the sun against the buildings. The clouds were closing in fast, and the sun was rapidly sinking. If I stuck to the shadows along the western side of the street, I may be able to sneak down the block on foot.

When I arrived the shadows had lengthened enough for me to get out of the car. As soon as I approached the store, however, I discovered La had definitely not been on this part of the block. There was no trace of her scent anywhere on the sidewalk and nothing near the bookstore. Jessica must have meant the mystic store, though why La would go there was beyond me.

This store was a couple of blocks away from the waterfront. The street had very few tall buildings and was still bathed in sunshine. It would be harder for me to get out of the car to search, but luck was with me- there was one parking spot left on the north side of the street. It had enough shade that I wouldn't immediately catch the sun. One long deep shadow cast by a single tall building at the end of the road led from the parking spot directly to the new age store. If I was careful I might be able to get close enough to catch La's scent if she had been there.

This was immensely dangerous. I could catch the reflection off a car, or- as unlikely as it was- stumble into the sunlight and someone could see me.

_Fuck it._ I didn't know how else to look, and I wasn't going to fucking stumble. I got out of the car, stepped carefully into the shadow and jogged toward the store front.

I caught just a wisp of La's scent from the door. She must have touched the handle, maybe even gone inside. On first glimpse the store was completely empty, but on second look a tiny woman with multitudes of fly away gray hair was behind the counter. She looked at me hopefully as I opened the door, but there was no trace of La's scent inside so I flitted back along the shadow to the safety of the car.

The clouds were starting to obscure the sun. Flashes of alternating shadow and sunlight slid across the windshield as I drove back and forth through the streets. I had the window rolled down just a little further, hoping to hear something or catch a scent. As the minutes rolled by with no luck I became more and more frantic. I stopped several more times but only caught her scent once more- further south than she had any right to be. The urgency of Alice's vision was crashing through me. Somewhere close by, La was lost, alone, and scared.

I felt so powerless, locked in my car, unable to get out and look properly with my heightened senses.

When I didn't find anything south, I drove back to the restaurant, hoping she may have found her way back, though I doubted it. She wasn't there, and didn't seem to be on any of the routes there from south Port Angeles. I drove even further south and a little west, toward the lumber yards hoping beyond hope for any sign.

The clouds had finally done their job by completely obscuring the sun as I approached the industrial complexes. I was looking for a place to park and leave the GTI when the display lit up with Alice's face again.

"I've got a road!" She said without preamble. "Angel Industrial Boulevard. She's going to pass it in less than a minute, and she's not alone."

"What do you mean?" I growled.

"I mean there are four men, and if you don't get there in time, Emmett…" Alice's voice broke on the end.

"I'll get there," I muttered darkly then hit the gas, pulled the e-brake, and turned the wheel sharply to the left. I knew where Angel Industrial was. If La was down there, it was the perfect opportunity for predators. It was a long road of old mills and factories with plenty of dilapidated driveways and dark corners to hide in. Since it was basically devoid of through traffic there would be no one to hear any screams.

Alice didn't have to say what would happen if I didn't get there in time. I was well aware of what four predatory men would do with one lone woman on a dark road given the chance. I'd known many men of their ilk over the years. I could only hope Alice had gotten a good glimpse of their faces in her vision and was already looking for them.

Fairmont Avenue approached on my left. I only slowed enough to take the 90 degree turn without flipping. I did the same along the next street, panic lending weight to my foot on the gas pedal. Again I slowed only enough to take the turn, my back wheels spun out behind me, and the clutch burned as I forced the shifter into third at sixty miles per hour.

Something was wrong.

There was no one here. No one standing on this street, and no one at the intersection of the next.

The street forced a right turn only a block ahead. To the left was a driveway that lead nowhere. I squealed around the corner to the right. My headlights flashed over five people almost frozen in pantomime.

Relief flooded me for less than a fraction of an instant. La was there, and she was alright, but not for long. The four men had her surrounded. They were using their larger bodies to block any hope for escape.

All of them were laughing viciously. One of the men, standing closer than the other three, was already taking a step forward, shirt untucked. He kept gripping his hands in and out of fists with anticipation. This looked like a practiced game to him.

La stood between them, the strap of her purse was wrapped around her hand twice, and clenched in a tight fist. Rather than cower, or try to run, she seemed to be crouched into a fighting position. Her lips were drawn over her teeth in a ferocious hiss.

For a moment I forgot she was still human. In that frozen second I believed she could take all four of these bags of shit on herself. She showed no fear. I saw her strong and unbreakable with transition- no help required or wanted.

The image dissipated as the lead attacker took another step forward. While he seemed to be taken aback by her lack of fear, he was also eager to receive his perceived reward. There was only a little hesitation in his step, as if he was wondering whether she would be worth the fight he was about to have, but not concerned enough to stop. Lucky for everyone, he wasn't about to find out.

At the sound of my car La jumped into the road. I slammed down on the break and the clutch at the same time, and pulled the e-brake which forced the car into a spin that stopped right beside her. One of the henchmen dove out of the way in a panic.

I pulled the handle on the door, pushed it open, and growled, "get in."

The leader covered his eyes from the glare of my headlights, and reached out a hand as if he would grab her before she could flee, but La didn't hesitate before leaping into the car and slamming the door shut behind her.

Men like this one were exactly the type I spent my days hunting during the fifties and sixties. Some of the things Edward and I saw elicited such a rage that the men did not die peacefully. I imagined some of the tortures we were made privy to, searching for the worst of them, imagining the best ways to exact revenge.

This man would never hurt another woman again. He would suffer. I would watch him writhe in agony, drink in his cries for mercy, and let him beg for a death that would not come. He would know the true meaning of fear and regret, and just before he had the opportunity to come to terms with his impending death, I would kill him so he would die without knowing the peace he craved.

It would have to wait, though. As soon as La was in the car I knew I couldn't ask her to sit there and watch as I beat a man within an inch of his life then stuffed him in the trunk for future torture.

What would I tell her? _No, you need to wait here while I nearly kill this thing then pack him away for a midnight snack. No, don't get out of the car, and don't worry about it! I promise to not kill you, too._

Somehow, I didn't think that would make a bad situation any better.

I was also fairly certain asking her to wait in the car while I dragged the men around the corner out of sight to gleefully committ murder wouldn't work either. The idea that she would listen to my advice and stay away was laughable. Besides, I didn't want to leave her alone out here, anyway. While it was unlikely there was another shitbag wandering the desolate streets of Port Angeles tonight, it had been unlikely there was even one to begin with. I wasn't taking any chances. Not with La's bloody luck. She would probably find a clutch of the assholes, like falling into a nest of vipers.

Worst yet, it probably wasn't even a good idea for me to run him over. That would likely scare her as much as anything else. It was decided, I would have to come back for him later.

All of this shot through my mind in less than a second. La wouldn't notice the pause as I hammered my foot down on the gas and took off toward the abandoned driveway I had been waiting in earlier.

It wasn't my greatest idea, but I couldn't resist clipping the leader in the hip on my way out.

The three other men scattered in different directions. One of them flew over the chain link fence on the other side of the road in his haste to be away. The leader was rolling around on the pavement behind us. I hoped I broke his hip. It would be easier to find him when the time came.

If Alice was watching as closely as I thought she might be, and Edward was anywhere near her, he may have seen his face, too. Hopefully, the two of them working together would get me a name I could use to find this guy. In fact, it might be best for me to drop La off with her friends, then circle back and take him out before he has a chance to get away.

I burned with the need to find and kill that man. As much as my brain told me to get La out of there as quickly as possible, my body told me to slam on the breaks, leap out of the car and take him out before he had the chance to find haven. Anger rang in my ears, and coiled my muscles. Like a poison, it covered my vision and made my skin crawl.

This feeling of craving death was something I had put behind me in the sixties. I hadn't felt this _need_ to kill someone since Edward and I returned home. This time, though, as soon as La was safe, I would give in.

La pulled the seatbelt over her shoulder and drove it home securely. The latch made a tiny click that pulled me out of my murder planning. Images of revenge vanished. I had to be here for La, she was probably suffering from trauma and in shock. I couldn't leave her with that horrible hyena of a woman called Jessica and take off into the night. Not while she needed me.

"Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly into the quiet. The question startled me.

"Am _I _okay?" _You've got to be fucking kidding me._ When I looked over at her I realized she had been watching me as I sat here festering in rage. She didn't seem troubled by any of the things that had happened, not the near assault, or the angry get away driver.

"Yeah, you look…" She let the sentence trail off, but she didn't need to finish it, really. I could well imagine how I looked. La, on the other hand, looked perfectly fine. Her brow was lightly pinched with concern, but it was clear the worry was for me, not for herself.

I took her question seriously and thought about my answer before speaking. _Was_ I okay?

_No, I'm not. _Not even a little bit. I was shaken to my core. Not only had I nearly failed to protect her, but I'd taken off in such a rage that I had injured another human in front of her, then driven like an absolute madman- putting her in danger myself, and gotten so wrapped up in my own feelings that I didn't even bother to check on her. Tonight had been a massive fail so far.

Instead of answering immediately, I pulled into the drive I had used earlier and parked. When we were safely stopped I turned toward her so I could better see for myself she was unharmed.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," it sounded like an automatic response. She shuddered a little and her gaze withdrew. It was clear she was taking brief stock of how she was feeling, as I had, before finishing her answer. "I mean, I am now."

Now that she was away from those men, she meant. I watched her face as she continued to evaluate herself. She looked like she wanted to both cry and scream at the same time. It almost looked like she could use a hug. I would have scooped her up into my lap right then if I thought she would let me, but didn't think she would appreciate a cuddle from an ice cold giant.

"They didn't get a chance to hurt you then?" I clarified. It was possible they had been able to get a few swipes in at her before I turned the corner.

La shook her head adamantly and shuddered again. "Thanks to your timely arrival. How did you find me?"

_Shit._ Of course she went directly for the question I had no interest in answering. Because why wouldn't that be the first thing she wanted to know? I had to deflect, I wasn't ready with a back up story, and there was no reason I could think of that I would be on that out of the way road unless I was looking for her.

"Let's go find Angela and Jessica," I suggested instead. "They'll be worried." At least Angela would be. I had my doubts about Jessica. I dropped the brake and clunked the gear shift under first into reverse and backed swiftly out of the space until I was pointing toward town.

The ride was mostly silent due to my thunderous mood. La seemed perfectly content to let the silence continue. She leaned back in her seat and gazed out the window as we flew past the industrial zone where she had been attacked.

I glanced down the road in question as we passed but La's attackers seemed to have moved on. Everything in me wanted to stop the car and chase them down before they had the chance to get away, but the only thing in the world I wanted more than one highly justifiable murder, was to be good enough for the woman seated beside me.

What would she say if she knew I planned on committing murder the very same night I spent time with her in such close proximity? How would she feel knowing a portion of her night was spent in the company of a killer?

I had to be better than that. Better than my instincts dictated or she would be lost to me forever.

"What's wrong?" The whispered words words caught me by surprise, again. I should be used to this by now; La never did what I expected.

Being so near, in an enclosed metal cage, made it impossible to get away from her scent. Her words puffed little shots of adrenaline through my body. My mouth flooded with venom like a human's mouth will water at the prospect of a tasty meal.

Coffee, coconuts, wood, and spices. Even if I were human I would love the way she smelled.

I glanced over at her, and found her waiting for an answer expectantly. Where should I begin? I didn't want her to know how hard it was for me to abstain from committing murder, no matter how much the victim deserved it. On the other hand, I had agreed, even sworn to "rule number two: be honest."

"I'm talking myself out of hunting those men down," I couldn't help the wry smile that curled my mouth with the admission. "Because it wouldn't be helpful to leave you alone right now."

Contrary to my words, simply thinking about what it would be like to hunt those _things_ down nearly convinced me to stop the car, give La the fob, and take off into the night after them.

"Oh," she breathed, but didn't offer any other thoughts on my dark confession. Her gaze returned to the buildings flashing by.

With every block we passed it grew harder not to leap from the car. I had to repetitively remind myself that I had a higher purpose tonight- being worthy of a woman that would never do what I planned on doing. La would never kill someone, she was too _good_ for that.

So I wouldn't give in and kill those men, but there had to be another option. It would be just as horrible for me to leave them out there on the streets to accost another woman. I would have to discuss this with Carlisle and Edward. Together we would be able to come up with something that would remove them from the streets of Port Angeles.

The restaurant loomed into view halfway down 1st Street. I found a parking space near the store front and swung into it smoothly. La looked around in confusion as she unlatched her seatbelt.

"What are you doing?"

I made a snap decision. I wasn't ready to leave her presence, and the nearly silent ride had not satiated my need to hear her thoughts. Besides, I was fairly certain she was in shock and needed to get some food in her, stat.

"I'm taking you to dinner," I told her with a mildness I did not feel.

She gave me a look that cut me to the core, then smiled. It was a tiny private smile that spoke of secrets and knowing.

_She knows, _I realized. _La has figured out what I am._

I soon found out just how much she knew. Somehow, though I had been so sure it was safe, she'd managed to bamboozle a young man on the Quileute reservation into telling her the tribe's entire history. I supposed this meant the treaty was now technically broken as they were only allowed to share those stories with fellow tribe members- not that I would make any fuss about it. Better to let a sleeping dog lie, _heh heh._

In the end it wouldn't have mattered. Whether she'd gotten the stories from their source or from the internet, once she'd gotten them, it was only a matter of fitting together the things she'd already seen. With all her first hand experience over the last couple of months, it wasn't a very difficult puzzle to build.

By the time I had visited her in her home the Sunday after my hunting trip with Edward, she'd been perfectly aware of what I was.

After dinner, the beginning of the car ride back to Forks had been tense. In the restaurant she made it very clear she knew more than she was willing to say in a public space. While I appreciated the discretion, by the time we got to the car I was positively bursting with curiosity.

Worse, she seemed reluctant to share at all. I had to pull it out of her in stages, even suggesting my own ludicrous possibilities to get the ball rolling. Eventually she began to speak with the growing hesitation of someone that thinks they've done something wrong.

"It was Saturday at the beach. Actually, I ran into an old family friend, Jacob Black," she told me as a diffident beginning.

The name didn't ring a bell. She had to further explain that Jacob was in fact the son of the only living male on the reservation, Billy, that would remember a wolf transition personally. The last known wolf, Ephraim Black, was Billy's grandfather.

"Shit," I barely managed to say. Obviously, if she'd gotten her information from Jacob it would be accurate.

"So," she went on without my goading. "We went for a walk, and he reminded me about some of the old tribe legends…"

Hang on, _reminded?_ Did La already know those old stories? I looked at her from the corner of my eye. Between her complexion and some of her features I could see the possibility… Was La Quileute? This would have to be a question for another time, though an important one. If La _was_ of Quileute descent, the treaty may not have been broken by Jacob, but it may be broken in a much more shattering way if La chose eternity with me.

"One of them was about…" La halted abruptly with a loud, phlegmy cough. I could see she was struggling with what she wanted to say, but I didn't feel any need to help her. If she really had figured this out, I wanted to hear it from her.

A vibrant flush suffused her cheeks as she forced the next words out. "Cold ones, er, rather… Vampires?"

Her discomfort was palpable, but it was almost a relief for me. Everything was out in the open now. No more hiding, and honestly, it could have been worse. For one thing, the fact that she wasn't screaming or trying to escape a moving vehicle was a win in my book.

The more I thought about it, the more I came to understand that while this night had looked terrible for several long moments in the beginning, it had ended spectacularly because this conversation would effectively remove any secrets between us.

In the car La went on to explain how she'd gotten the story out of Jacob, what she'd asked, and how he had responded- even _over_ explaining. I think she wanted to protect Jacob in a way, to express that her knowledge wasn't his fault. Not that I would ever blame him. If I couldn't help but give her everything she wanted, how could I expect someone else to deny her?

"What brought it together?" I asked.

"I like to look at things written out, so I wrote it all down and tried to look at it objectively… and then… I decided it didn't matter." The way she'd said it had been so astoundingly nonchalant, as though myths dropped into her life on a daily basis. As if it was totally normal to be having a conversation with a dead person. I pulled the car over so I could look at her properly. Part of me wanted to shake some sense into her.

"It doesn't matter?" I huffed.

"No, it doesn't matter to me what you are or aren't."

I could have flung myself out of the car and done a jig. I wanted to crow with happiness and twirl her around until she wept with laughter. I wanted to say _I love you_ right then and there.

_Take it down a notch, man. _I took a deep breath and turned a severe look on her, but I had to fight to keep the grin off my face the whole time.

"You don't care if I'm not human." I clarified instead of making a fool of myself.

"Well, you _look_ human."

_Smart ass._

"You don't care if I'm a monster?" I tried a different tactic.

"Monsters don't save lives, Emmett."

I would have argued the contrary, but I was so happy I couldn't be bothered. The questions rolled in after that. Now that there were no huge looming secrets hanging over us, she spoke freely. It was my first real look into her head.

Her questions were rapid fire and succinct, equal parts good humor and kindness. She wondered about the mythology versus the real thing, why we couldn't go in the sun, what we ate, and where we slept.

With every answer she had another question ready, but she seemed to roll with every punch. There was no reason for her to be so calm about these revelations, but nothing seemed to take her out of her comfort zone.

It wasn't until I brought up her behavior during the attack that I saw the calm veneer crack. I asked what her plan had been, surrounded by four men, most of which outweighed her, with nothing but a purse in her fist.

It didn't even look like she planned on running away, so I asked, "Were you going to fight them?"

Her answer scared me. Not because she was frightening in anyway, but because it gave a horrific glimpse into her past; the contusions on her brain that hadn't healed, an abject fearlessness that bordered on insanity, the monotone she used when she spoke about her past, even the missing medical records.

"It probably wouldn't have done any good," she'd stated. "But neither would have running, not with four guys behind me. And I was just so mad. I don't think I've ever been that angry in my life. I just wanted to hurt them, to punish them for being the reason women fear walking alone at night. I wanted to see them suffer for every woman that's ever been traumatized by a man."

Her voice wavered and cracked with passion and she shook with anger. There was no mistaking it. Those words came from a place of experience.

Now, as I watched her skip into the halo of light cast by the bulb on her front porch and pulled away from her house, I was left in mute reflection of the night's events. It seemed that whatever my worry had been about her choice- it was now just a matter of taking the time to ensure she was confident in whatever that choice ended up being; lifeless existence with me, or growth.

My thoughts lingered on our goodbye.

"_See you tomorrow?"_ It almost sounded like a plea. Her gaze had locked onto mine, beseeching, before she'd gotten out of the car.

"_Promise."_ I gave her the scouts honor salute so she would know how seriously I took this promise. La lifted her middle finger to show her appreciation of my thoughtfulness before ducking inside.

It had been painful to leave her, but I had work to do now. First, I needed to get with the family. At this point I was sure they already had a plan in place for locating and dealing with the four men on Angel Industrial Boulevard. Before I could spend my night peacefully watching La sleep, I would be making one more trip to Port Angeles.

I took a circuitous route home, attempting to let the tumultuous nature of my thoughts die down before I had to face the curiosity of my family. It was such an incredible boon to have the truth out. The absence of the ever present fear I had been suffering under was akin to having the weight of an 18-wheeler lifted from my chest. No more fear, no more worry, no more need to be careful. Now I would be able to have some fun- assuming I didn't kill her in the process.

Assuming she felt about me the way I felt about her. Although, at this point it was clear there was some kind of reciprocation.

For a moment I let myself imagine what it would be like when she transitioned. It was wrong of me to think of that as a foregone conclusion, but it was also so gratifying to finally be able to hope there was a chance.

It would be such a relief to not have to worry about her vulnerabilities anymore. To not feel the need to frantically search a city when I couldn't find her, or constantly be vigilant about touching her with too much pressure, as right now it would be so easy to snap her in half.

These thoughts about vulnerabilities turned my attention to the matter at hand- the monster that was currently stalking the streets of Port Angeles. To leave him free and capable would be an unforgivable oversight. I couldn't kill him, but there were other options.

Alice was waiting for me on the front porch when I pulled up. She had her slender arms wrapped around her shins, with her chin resting on her bent knees. Her mouth was puckered into an apologetic frown.

"That was close," she said, clutching her legs more tightly into her body.

"Yep," I slumped onto the steps next to her and tousled her hair.

"I'm so sorry I didn't catch it sooner." Her breath hitched as she spoke, and she took a deep, steadying breath. I peered down at her. It still surprised me how invested Alice was with the girl's wellbeing.

"Don't be," I assured her. "You can't catch everything all of the time. No one expects omniscience from a munchkin."

I smiled and drew her in for a tight hug. She made a strangled muffing noise and batted me away.

"I'm not a munchkin!" She groused. "But thanks."

"You know," I went on. "I nearly invited you out to dinner tonight. Did you catch that before everything went to hell in a handbasket?"

"Ooh," she cooed. "No, I wish I had caught it! I definitely would have gone."

The little smile that was beginning to form on her face abruptly dropped off.

"And then I might have been there to help when La wandered off." She let her head fall back onto her knees with a dejected huff.

"Forgive yourself, kid. La is fine," I opened my mouth to continue speaking but shut it again when my stomach made a little flop.

"What?" Alice hadn't missed the falter.

"Well," I shrugged self consciously. "We ended up having a pretty good night."

Alice sat up and kicked her feet out over the steps. " Does that mean I can-"

"Whoa," I held my hands out to deflect her enthusiasm. "It doesn't mean anything yet, but-"

"Oh my god!" Alice squealed. Her eyes had the misty look she got when she was gazing into the future. "It means everything! The meadow is clear as day. The two outcomes are back; one of joy and one of horror."

_Well, if that wasn't one sure way to kill a mood._

"My money is on joy, Emmett," she said gently.

"I hope you're right."

"I am," she said comfortably. It was a good point. It would be madness to bet against Alice on anything.

"What were you concentrating so hard on you missed all the drama tonight?"

She grinned devilishly. "Jasper is trying not to think about our anniversary. I keep getting little flashes of his gift ideas, but I think he's trying to keep from deciding."

"Wow, Alice," I reprimanded. "You are absolutely shameless."

"Oh yes," she tinkled a little laugh then sobered. Her lips pressed into a fine line as she stared up at me. "Are you going to tell them she knows?"

"Yep," I grunted. I was fairly certain everyone would be okay, but Jasper might take some delicate maneuvering. He would only see the risk.

"La took it pretty well," she continued.

"Too well," I agreed.

"_Il Divenire…" _Alice mused.

"You think those are real?"

"Jasper says they are." This was clearly enough confirmation for her. "It would certainly fit La, wouldn't it?"

"Mmm."

"You better get going if you're going to get back to P-A," Alice stood and brushed off her jeans, then pulled me up next to her. "Carlisle is in his office."

"Alice-"

"Yes, yes, of course." She cut in before I could form the thought. "She sort of requires twenty-four hour supervision, doesn't she?"

"At the very least, it would seem."

"She'll be fine tonight, I'm keeping better watch now." She tapped her head knowingly then opened the front door and held it for me to step inside before her. "You'll be with her soon enough, anyway."

More beautiful words had yet to be spoken. They were like a balm on my anxious heart.

"Go on," she motioned up the stairs with her chin. "Get this over with."

I took the stairs at a run and was inside Carlisle's office within a second. He was waiting for me, a book closed in his lap. Edward was seated across the desk from him, calmly flipping through the pages of his own large volume.

"Alice told you what happened to La tonight?"

"Almost happened," Carlisle amended as Edward nodded.

"Right, yeah, almost…" I agreed hastily. "So, I've got a dilemma. I'd like very much to rip the head from these guys' shoulders, carve 'rapist' into their dismembered torsos, then leave them out to be found as an example but I realize that would be an act of vengeance, not justice, and I recognize that it would be very wrong for me to do, if extremely satisfying."

Edwards eyebrows lifted higher and higher as I continued to ramble.

"The thing is, it would be equally wrong to knowingly leave a serial rapist or three on the streets of Port Angeles. What if they decide to fix the pounding their pride took over the loss of their first victim by attacking some other girl? It would be my fault for leaving them free, and I just can't do that."

Carlisle smiled widely. "You've come a long way, son."

"I- what?"

"Fifty years ago you would have killed them without question," he said. "I couldn't be more proud of you. This woman must be very good for you to bring out so much compassion and control. I am very impressed."

I frowned. "I'm not here for compliments, Pops."

"No, of course not." He gave me another brilliant smile. "You can rest easy. No one will be hurt in La's place."

"You have a plan?"

"Yes," Edward said. "I can find him. His name is Lonnell Becker, but he goes by Lonnie."

"He?" I clarified. "Only one of them?"

"Yes," Edward nodded as he stood and placed his book on Carlisle's desk. "This would be the person that was initiating the assault. He was the only one we could readily find due to his priors, which are… extensive."

"I think 'person' is a bit generous. What about the others?"

"It is my hope we will be able to find more information about them when we apprehend Lonnie."

"And if we don't?"

"We will," Edward said mildly.

"I've packed a bag for you," Carlisle reached down beside his chair and lifted a plain, black leather bag. It was the same one he used to carry emergency medical supplies in.

"You won't be coming with us?"

"No, I have a shift in emergency tonight so I won't be able to accompany you," he admitted apologetically. "I have full confidence in your abilities to handle this matter discreetly. Edward knows the plan."

I looked at Edward from the corner of my eye. A part of me had been relying on Carlisle to come with us to be a voice of reason. Without him I would have very little present motive to hold myself in check. Edward avoided my gaze, and took the bag from our father.

"I'll make sure it goes smoothly," he said. By that he meant he would make sure no one died. As much as I wanted to be the good guy for La, I was wary of any such promises. Without Carlisle's assuring presence all my ideas about justice versus vengeance would be dust in the wind.

"Take my car," Carlisle went on, oblivious to my internal argument. "He may have gotten a better look at Edward's than we know."

Carlisle's sleek black Audi was parked next to Alice's Porsche on the bottom level of the main garage. Edward threw the medical bag into the back and slid into the passenger seat, leaving the driver's side open for me.

I threw the fob into the center console and pressed at the start button with more vigor than necessary. The car whispered to life. I backed out of the garage and did my best to navigate carefully down the mostly gravel driveway to the main road. Kicking up rocks that might put a hole in the radiator would only delay us further. Once we were on the road, I kicked the gas to the floor, flicked the headlights off, and tore down the 101.

We made it back in just under thirty minutes. Lonnie was drowning himself with cheap alcohol in a seedy pub off Marine Drive. The night was still relatively early, yet Lonnie's head was already slumping toward the bar in his drunken stupor.

As soon as we were within striking distance rage overtook me and I pushed passed my brother to get to the man first. Edward gripped my shoulder, shook his head, then pointed across the street toward a vacant dock. I nodded grimly and crossed the road to wait.

There was an abandoned shack at the water's edge that would provide an adequate amount of cover. I broke the lock off and opened the door. Inside was a run down, threadbare, stinking palate, several bottles of chemicals, needles of every gauge, and a plethora of empty plastic baggies.

It smelled of fear-sweat, and sickness. The scents of several different humans hung about the place, though the scent of one human in particular seemed to be the strongest. I recognized this particular human. Somehow, it seemed I had inadvertently stumbled upon the hidey hole of our man in question.

_Edward,_ I thought loudly. _Take a look. I found his drug den. This is where he takes his girls, and from the smell of it, some of them didn't make it out again. _

There was a dense cloying scent I associated with death within the layers of decay assaulting my senses. _Hurry up, _I added to Edward. I didn't know how long I would be able to wait, especially after finding this nightmare.

I paced the small square room, syringes crunching beneath my feet as I retraced the same steps. Eventually came the sound of two sets of footsteps approaching. I stared at the door impatiently, listening to the sound of them making their way slowly across the street. By the time they entered the shack I had worked myself into an uncontrollable fury.

The door was opened in inches by shaking hands. Heavy, hitched breathing accompanied the welcome sound. Lonnie seemed to have a very good idea what awaited him inside. I managed to hold off long enough for Lonnie to step through the doorway, but I was on him before Edward could get between us.

My first punch unhinged Lonnie's jaw. I felt the satisfying crunch under my knuckles as I made contact. The second swing broke a set of his ribs. They cracked loudly in the dank air of the shack in a satisfying way. Lonnie started to fall but I caught him by gripping a shoulder so tightly a collarbone snapped beneath my thumb. Lonnie screamed frantically, but he'd chosen his lair well - there was no one to hear his cries.

Edward pulled me off and managed to throw me bodily out of the door into the darkness outside before I could snap the man's neck. I landed on my back in a puddle of muck that splashed up spectacularly and caught me in the face.

It was too soon, I wasn't finished with my prey. With a roar, I launched myself back toward the shack, intent on finishing the job.

Edward tackled me sideways. "Go to La, brother," he said firmly. "I can handle this."


End file.
